


Much Ado About Baggins

by hawksfromhandsaws



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Actual Thief Bilbo Baggins, Adorable, Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bilbo Baggins & Dís Friendship, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Female Bilbo, Female Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield, Gandalf Meddles, Human Smaug, Language, Past Abuse, Romance, Rule 63, Sexual Content, Slow Build, Sparks Fly, horrible school plays, librarian Bilbo, policeman Thorin, young children
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-02
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2018-07-11 17:49:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 35
Words: 76,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7063528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hawksfromhandsaws/pseuds/hawksfromhandsaws
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thorin is an Arnor police officer who is trying to take down the most corrupt man in the city- good ole Smaugikins (not that anyone calls him that to his face, mind, but the graffiti is getting pretty suggestive) when he is strongarmed (by a supposedly sick Dís) into attending his nephews' elementary school play. Though the play should surely be classified as torture, Thorin meets a delightful woman, Ms. Bella Baggins, the school librarian, and asks her out to dinner.<br/>In step a meddlesome (as always) Gandalf, precocious children, Smaug, and an existentialist fake mountain. Things go downhill from there. </p><p>Or: Thorin and Bella are adorable, the kids find their inner thespians, Bella loses a cardigan, and thieving abounds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Meetings

“You must be new here,” a soft voice said from Thorin’s left.

Glancing down, he found a young woman sliding into the empty seat. Thick auburn curls were pulled back from her face to reveal pointed features, bright green eyes, and a full mouth that sent Thorin’s imagination straight to the gutter.

Man, he needed to get out more.

“What makes you say that?” he asked.

A slight smile quirked her mouth. “Because you don’t look resigned and mildly frightened.”

Thorin blinked. “Frightened? It’s just a school play.”

“Ah, to be young and naïve again. Just a school play,” she snorted.

“Why, what’s-“ But the lights turned down and the curtains rose before he could finish the question.

It was a good thing he loved his nephews, Thorin decided, as the play began. Only deep and abiding love could force him to sit through _The Lonely Mountain_.

Really, children’s plays were supposed to be cute and sweet, not worryingly precise existential crises of a clump of rocks that had to fend off flying pigs- no wait, dragons- and…

“Are those supposed to be horses?” Thorin asked.

The woman leaned forward. “Dwarves, I think. See, they have hammers.”

“ _Hammers_?” Maybe he needed to get his eyesight checked. “I thought they were just really excited to see the mountain.”

Soft laughter flickered over him. “It’s a _children’s_ play, sir.”

“Which is why I was preparing my lawsuit in my head.”

“You could probably get every parent here to cosign. Oh, good. Another mountain monologue.”

Thorin wished for a large pair of earmuffs. When none materialized, he started considering the merits of pulling a Van Gogh just to save his sanity. Surely this play was outlawed by the Geneva convention.

The woman just smiled at his pained grimace. “You’re lucky. Last year was a musical.”

Sweet Mahal, the horror.

Finally, blissfully it was over. Thorin raised his hands to clap when the woman said three words that almost made him weep.

“It’s just intermission.”

What could he possibly have done in a previously life to deserve this? Had he committed genocide, started a plague?

At least it was some sort of respite. Thorin stood, hoping that the rush of blood back to his legs might induce a clot and send him to the hospital. He took out his cellphone, praying, but there were no missed calls.

Of all the times for the criminals to behave themselves. Surely a nice murder wouldn’t go amiss right about now.

But then he imagined his nephews’ faces if they didn’t see him at the end and realized he was going to have to stick it out. Fili and Kili would be crushed. He couldn’t do that to them.

“Another sigh like that and I think you might just float away,” he told the woman.

She grinned. “Maybe it would sound better from the ceiling.”

“You speak as though you don’t enjoy good theater.”

“I would be running far and fast if I did,” she said.

Thorin laughed. “Fair point.”

The woman held out her hand. “I suppose misery loves company so we should at least be introduced to each other. I’m Bella.”

“Thorin. How did you get shanghaied into this?”

“I needed to assess this firsthand so it doesn’t turn the kids off drama all together. They still have years of being drowned in Shakespeare to look forward to.” She smiled. “I’m the school librarian. And my little cousin is playing a tree.”

Actually, now that he thought about it, he did remember his nephews mentioning their librarian. They always spoke well of her and Dis was convinced she was the only reason Kili liked reading. “Bella Boggins?”

“Baggins. You must be Kili’s uncle, then. I swear that boy lives to test my patience.” But she said it with enough affection, Thorin couldn’t help but smile.

“I think that’s his goal with every living creature. He has an unlimited supply of patience and he doesn’t understand why everyone else doesn’t.”

“So, what is it you do?”

Thorin hid a wince. This was going to kill their pleasant conversation. “I’m a cop. Homicide.”

Whenever he said that, one of two things happened: women got really excited about seeing him in uniform with handcuffs, or they made polite noises and ran away from the man they assumed was stereotypically dark, a workaholic, and haunted by what he had seen. Not that they were wrong, mind, but Thorin found himself dreading the end of his conversation with Bella. She was so open and honest in her responses, those green eyes inviting him to share in her amusement as though they had a secret, just the two of them.

“And no one died tonight to get you out of this?” She shook her head. “Inconsiderate of them.”

He blinked before a laugh escaped him. The sound was rusty and rough, but it felt good. “I was thinking the same thing, myself. I’ll bring it up the next time I visit the prison.”

“Good. They could start a guild. Keep murderers on a time table. It’s the most efficient way, really,” Bella said. “Ooh, look, cookies. If anything can make this tolerable, it might be sweets.”

Grandma’s etiquette lessons dusted off their cobwebs and kicked Thorin’s ass into gear. He returned shortly with two huge cookies only to find Bella deep in discussion with an older gentleman.

“Chief?” Thorin blinked, but it was definitely the Chief of Police. There was no mistaking that gray beard or jacket.

“Ah! Lieutenant Durinson, nice to see you out of the precinct. Do you know my goddaughter? She’s a capital woman. And single.” Gandalf Greyheim clapped him on the back.

“We just met,” Bella said. She took the cookie Thorin extended and made a _I’m sorry but he’s family, what can you do_ grimace.

He smiled back. He could hardly blame Gandalf when he had answered a question Thorin had been wondering while in line for the cookies. “Is this why you moved the squad meeting to tomorrow morning?”

“Of course! I couldn’t very well miss little Frodo’s first appearance on the stage.”

“Which is why he’s staying for the second half,” Bella said.

Gandalf coughed into his hand. “Well, I don’t know about that. You see, if the meeting is tomorrow, I have loads to prepare.”

“Godfather, Frodo has been working all week on his line and I lost nearly a pint of blood making his costume. You are going to stay to see him perform or, so help me, I will tell Farmer Maggot to stop selling you tobacco.” Bella narrowed her eyes.

She looked so fierce, both men took a step back from her.

“You wouldn’t,” Gandalf said.

“Wouldn’t I?”

He sighed. “Very well, I will stay. Unless the dragon makes a reappearance. In that case, I’m pulling a fire alarm.”

That was a great idea. Thorin perked up until Bella shook her head.

“It’s disabled, I’m afraid. Just for tonight. They learned from a few years ago.”

Thorin deflated and Bella patted him gently on the arm. “Just a few more hours.”

“Hours?”

“Well, we still have acts three and four to go.”

This must be why Dis had so suddenly come down with the flu. She had been healthy yesterday. Thorin tilted his head back to stare at the ceiling. A lightning strike sounded really nice right about now.

 

 

“Auntie, Auntie, Auntie!” Frodo leapt into Bella’s arms, almost blinding the woman next to them with his wire branches. Then again, as the woman’s child looked only about five, she might wish to be blinded to avoid this next year. “Did you see me? I said my line!”

“I saw you! You were the best performer up there.” She hugged him tightly. “They should have ended the show after you. No one else could compare.”

“Us too!” Merry, Pippin, and Sam ran over, fake leaves waving madly.

“The best forest in all of thespian history,” Bella confirmed, kissing each of their cheeks. “I’m very proud of all of you.”

“Come on,” Merry said to the others. “I bet if we stand really still, we can scare Gandalf when he leaves the drinks table.”

The four trees waddled off after promising Bella to take only one cookie each. Shaking her head, she returned to her seat to grab her bag.

Her head pounded as she bent over. Every playwright in history must be rolling over in their graves. She didn’t know how, but each year the drama teacher, Edward Denethor, found some play that had been ignored—rightfully so—on the internet and each year they got worse and worse.

Though surely nothing could top this. There had even been an evil queen (who really almost did behead her costar with a swinging sword), a rhyming (somewhat) goblin, and, for some bizarre reason, Napoleon riding a cow.

At least the kids enjoyed it, though they might need counseling later in life.

“Now, now,” a deep voice said behind her, “with an expression like that, I’ll begin to think you didn’t enjoy our evening.”

Looking up, Bella made a face at Thorin. “Keep talking like that and I’ll think you did.”

He placed a hand over his heart. “My reputation would never recover.”

Bella laughed. “Careful, Mr. Durinson. I could use this as blackmail.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” he said, chuckling.

Something about this man intrigued her. He wore confidence like a second skin and the shadows in his blue gaze whispered of past horrors he had conquered, but his smile was pure mischief. She had the feeling that he didn’t smile much, and the fact that she could make him laugh was like winning the lottery.

He wasn’t handsome strictly speaking, but he was certainly striking: military short black hair, strong lines, a jaw strong enough to break bridges, and eyes of glacial blue with an intensity that sent shock waves through her.

Attractive men, as a rule, didn’t notice Bella. Normally it didn’t bother her; both her jobs and Frodo kept her busy enough for three lifetimes without adding romantic entanglements into the mix, but every now and again, it would hit Bella just how lonely she was. She had precious few close friends, and her family didn’t live close, except for Gandalf, now that her parents had passed. Perhaps she was just too private a person to let many people close.

“I have my ears peeled for hoof beats,” a new voice entered the conversation. “Thorin is smiling and his face hasn’t cracked under the pressure.”

Both Thorin and Bella jumped.

A tall, balding man with a plethora of tattoos raised one eyebrow at them as he crossed his arms across a massive chest. He glanced at Bella and inclined his head. “Dwalin.”

Swallowing hard, Bella tried to smile. “Bella Baggins. Pleasure to meet you.” She cocked her head, and, with a glance at Thorin, she added, “I think the horsemen have already passed, but the plague of locusts is due anytime now that he’s laughing.”

Dwalin snorted as Thorin rolled his eyes. “Thanks, Bella. The jokes from this one are never going to die.”

She grinned, unrepentant. “It builds character.”

Placing a hand on her back, Thorin shook his head. “I think that after tonight I’ve built enough character for a lifetime.”

The heat from his palm bled through her cardigan. Bella had to fight not to lean into him, because if she did, she would be tempted to continue with things completely inappropriate for an elementary school.

“I thought the dragons were particularly bracing myself,” she said, trying to keep a straight face.

“Yes, it’s not every day you get to see plastic eyeballs exploding across the stage. That’s the stuff of nightmares.”

Bella winced. That costume mishap had resulted in three dwarves losing their balance and face planting off the stage. “The injury toll on these productions just keeps going up.”

“If I ever find Denethor alone in an alleyway, I might just have to arrest myself for murder,” Thorin muttered.

“You’d be proclaimed a hero,” she said. “The Queen might knight you.”

“Well, as long as I get a statue, too. I’ve always fancied that bronze flatters my eyes.”

Dwalin’s jaw dropped so far it almost came unhinged, sending Bella into peals of laughter.

“Hopeless, the pair of you,” Dwalin sighed. “Unfortunately I have to break up this clown party. Do you mind if I talk to Thorin for a moment?”

Bella excused herself and went in search of Frodo. Though she told herself not to, she glanced over her shoulder. A blush erupted on her cheeks as her gaze met Thorin’s as he watched her walk away.

He tossed her a wink.

“Goodness grief,” she grumbled to herself. One would think she was a doe-eyed teenager with her first crush. Just because the man was unreasonably attractive and kind and funny and smart and- _ugh!_ Anyway, she knew nothing about him really, and she guarded too many secrets to jump blindly into any relationship, even a friendship.

“Miss Baggins, Miss Baggins!” A horde of children swarmed her. “Did you like the play?”

“Did you see me?”

“Charlie messed up his line, but _I_ remembered mine and kicked Nellie for her entrance.”

Bella smiled at them all. “It was wonderful. You should all be very proud of yourselves.”

The kids preened as they talked her through the whole play with much additional commentary. Next time, she was going to sit backstage. It sounded like a lot more fun and it might save her sanity.

Thorin stepped up behind her, one hand going to the small of her back. “Esteemed thespians, do you mind if I borrow Miss Baggins for a moment?”

“What do we get for her?” Young Gimli asked, eyes narrowed.

“I hadn’t realized I was for sale,” Bella muttered.

“How about one cookie each?' Thorin offered.

After handing a twenty-dollar bill to Kili and sending the horde thundering toward the bake sale table, both Bella and Thorin had to massage their ears to restore hearing. Apparently cookies inspired children to exclaim in decibels heard only by dogs.

“Bella, may I ask you a question?”

She nodded as she shook feeling back into her foot. Who knew little kids weighed so much?

“Look, I know we hardly know each other, and I’m not one to interact much with strangers, but I like you,” Thorin said, holding her gaze with his own. “Have dinner with me tomorrow.”

That was a question? Still, a silly grin threatened her mouth and she nodded. “I’d like that.”

He let out a long breath, making her smile all over again. He wasn’t as confident as he appeared to be. It was oddly endearing that she of all people could shake up someone as intense as Thorin.

“Here.” Bella pulled a piece of paper out of her bag and scribbled her number on it. “Give me a call when you know what time works best for you. I’d imagine that sometimes your work can make scheduling in advance a bit of a pain. I just need enough heads up to drop Frodo off at my godfather’s.”

Thorin nodded. “Thanks for understanding. I thought you said Frodo was your cousin.”

“He is. I took him in after his parents were killed in a boating accident,” she said. It had been a rough year, but Frodo was a resilient lad. She would come to one of these train wrecks every night if it meant he’d be happy.

“You’re an amazing woman, Bella Baggins.” Thorin said, making her blush.

She shook her head. “Not particularly. Shall we say 7 and then go from there?”

“Sounds great. Well, I guess I’ll have to tell my sister I did enjoy tonight after all,” Thorin sighed. “Damn and blast I’m going to have to come again next year.”

Laughing, Bella bid him goodbye and went to find her errant cousin. It had been a play for the history books, that was for sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are again- the start of a new story! Much excitement! I hope you enjoy the start and I look forward to hearing what you think, new ideas, or just general conversation from you, dear readers. 
> 
> I really have, I am sad to say, been stuck watching a play much like this one. I still think I need counseling to get over it.


	2. Dates, Noses, and Books

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bella and Thorin attempt to have their first date despite the complications that arise, e.g. Azog, sprinklers, and purses filled with books.

The soul of the city resided in Thorin’s neighborhood. Elegant decadence in the wrap-around porches, carefully tended lawns, and general air of high society met the vibrancy of the modern city with fancy cars and quality building.

When Bella found the right address, she sat in her little car for a moment, feeling completely outclassed. Not only did these people have more money than she would ever make in three life times, but this was the elite of the elite. Anyone without a pedigree and family history tying them to the Blue Hills for the past three hundred years was politely sneered upon. Everything from Bella’s wild hair to her outdated fashion sense was unwelcome here.

It wasn’t that Bella was poor exactly. Her parents had left her a tidy sum and her jobs supplemented that, but between paying for Drogo and Primula’s funeral and refitting her house to deal with a five-year-old, she felt the pinch every time she opened her checkbook.

How did a policeman afford to live here?

Of course, the first question she should be asking is why was she going out with a policeman? Her second job, no matter how picky she was about her clients, wasn’t exactly, well, _legal_.

If there was something between them, how could it ever go anywhere if she was forced to lie to him about her whereabouts a few nights every month? She couldn’t do that, not to Thorin.

Ugh! Bella rested her forehead on the steering wheel. The soft breeze through the open windows tugged at her carefully pinned hair.

She just realized this now, in front of his house? He had probably heard her drive up. There was no escaping now. She would just have to keep things pleasant until she could politely leave.

“Right,” she told her reflection in the rear view mirror bracingly, “you can do this.”

“I had no idea I was so frightening,” a deep voice said from her left.

Bella screamed and jumped, banging her knees against the steering wheel. On reflex, she swung her purse at the intruder. It connected with a loud smack.

“Shi--Crap!” Thorin backed away, a hand to his nose. Blood gushed down between his fingers.

“Oh dear, oh dear! I’m so sorry.” Bella threw open the door and raced to Thorin. “How bad is it? Let me see. I’m so so sorry. I’m such a klutz.”

“Are you still holding your purse?” His words were mumbled but those bright blue eyes smiled at her.

“I’m not armed, I promise.” She tugged at his arms. “Sit in the car so I can look. I’ve had my fair share of bruises.”

Thorin folded his large frame into her driver seat and tilted his head back to stem the blood flow. He took the handkerchief she pressed into his hands.

“Well, it doesn’t look broken.” She bit her lip. “But we should ice it as soon as possible. I am so sorry, Thorin. This must hurt badly. I really didn’t-“

“Bella.” He lowered his head to meet her gaze. “It’s fine, really, and my fault. I didn’t mean to startle you. At least now I don’t have to worry about you walking the streets alone. You could take out a pro wrestler with that purse. What do you have in there?”

“Books,” Bella said apologetically. “I have the new one about genetics and a short story collection by Neil Gaiman and a romance novel. Oh, and I have my just-in-case kit. I started carrying that when I adopted Frodo. Are you sure you’re alright?”

“I’m sure. Why do you carry so many books?”

“Well, what if I’m not in the mood for short stories or fiction while I’m waiting for something? Come on, let’s get you some ice.” Bella locked the car behind him and gave him a soft shove. “You have a beautiful house.”

“Thank you. It’s been in the family for years. Used to be just a summer home, but then-“ Thorin broke off abruptly with a wince and shook his head. “Ouch! Anyway, we like it here.”

“We? Do you have a wife hidden up in an attic or a crazy uncle stashed in the basement?” she asked before the inside of the house awed her into silence.

Slate floors complemented the rich wood paneling and double staircase that arched up to the second floor. A chandelier illuminated suits of armor lining the entryway and swords crossed over the door.

This was a summer home? What did their other house look like, Versailles?

“Bella?” Thorin had walked out of the foyer before he realized she wasn’t following. He stuck his head back through the door.

Wide-eyed, she shook herself and followed him. She felt so thoroughly outclassed, it wasn’t even funny, but she was hardly going to abandon him when she had just bloodied his nose.

“The towels are over there,” Thorin said after she herded him to a seat in the informal dining room.

If she had been awed by the foyer, the kitchen just about rendered her speechless.

Rosewood cabinets flowed into rich, cream granite countertops and a stainless steel apron sink. Double ovens and a huge dishwasher were also stainless steel. There was more storage space than even Bella could fill. A marble center island sat beneath a pot rack full of cheery, copper-bottomed pots and pans.

The food she could cook here…The marble island appeared to be cooled with liquid nitrogen if that button was labeled correctly. She could make fudge perfectly and with the two ovens, cook a fabulous birthday dinner for her and Frodo and-

“Bella?”

She jumped, so lost in her thoughts. “Sorry, I was drooling over your kitchen. Let me get that ice for you.”

Thorin smiled as she handed him a cold compress. One of his eyes had already darkened to black, but at least the blood had stopped flowing. “Do you like to cook?”

“I love cooking and I really love food. It reminds me of my family and it’s been a blast teaching Frodo.” She perched on the edge of the seat next to him. “How does that feel?”

“Better. Don’t worry, this is hardly my first bloody nose.”

“Hardly? Do you walk around encouraging people to punch you?”

A soft chuckle. “No, but not many people appreciate my sparkling personality.”

“Plebeians, the lot of them.”

“I think so. But they don’t much like it when you point that out. Hence the bloody noses and black eyes.” He lowered the ice and reached over to squeeze her hand. “I know it’s not the most fortuitous start to the evening, but if you’re willing to continue…”

This was it. This was her easy out. All she had to do was say her nerves were jangled and then politely refuse to set up another time. Save them both from the inevitable pain.

But…Bella was lonely. Whether or not this went anywhere, she just wanted to have a conversation with someone who didn’t blow snot bubbles for amusement or one of her family who always gave her that slightly pitying look for being twenty-five and not married. She wanted to forget about the press of everyday life for a few hours and be the same escape for Thorin.

“If you’re willing to put up with my dangerous self, I’d like to stay,” she said before she could talk herself out of it.

Thorin’s smile blasted away the last of her worries: bright and carefree. It made her realize just how young he was. When he kept the hard edge to his face, he looked old and scarred by life, but just then she glimpsed the young man who struggled to hold onto something good in life no matter what trials came his way. “Excellent.”

Placing the ice and bloody tissues on the table, Thorin quickly washed up and then held out a hand. Bella took it with only a brief hesitation.

He led her to the backyard where a large fire pit, circled by stones, sank into the carefully tended lawn at the edge of the large deck. Flowers burst from the edges of the yard in surprisingly vibrant colors for such a stately house.

“Honeysuckle!” Bella leaned over to smell the white flower. “They’re my favorite. The smell is just divine.”

Thorin plucked a flower from the plant and tucked it behind her ear. He smiled when she blushed. “I should have said so earlier, but you look beautiful, Bella.”

Her blush grew. Between getting Frodo to go to Gandalf’s for the evening and finishing up a remaining bit of work, she hadn’t had much time to prepare, but it was nice to know he noticed. “Thank you. You look lovely too.”

That was the understatement of the century. His blue button down felt like silk and brought out the clarity of his eyes. The shirt tucked into dark jeans, drawing her attention to his drool worthy thighs and lean hips.

“Here. Have a seat while I get the fire going.”

Bella settled on a cushioned seat carved out of the ring of stones and watched, fascinated, as Thorin set about building a pile of sticks before slowly feeding in logs until they had a roaring fire battling the cool night.

“Are we going to roast marsh mellows?” She grinned as he returned to sit next to her. “Hot dogs?”

Thorin stretched out his legs and casually draped an arm behind her. He didn’t encroach her space or make any moves. It felt natural, comfortable, to be sitting like this, and she certainly wasn’t going to complain.

“I was going to suggest take out so I don’t accidentally poison you with my cooking skills, but that sounds like a better plan. I know we have some for the boys.”

At her look, he clarified, “my sister lives here as well. Her husband passed suddenly last year so she moved back in. No wives or crazy uncles hidden here.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. That is hard. I know what it’s like to lose a loved one without warning. The boys are doing well, though. They must be a great help to her,” she said.

“They are.” Thorin bumped his shoulder to hers. “Are you alright? I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Bella smiled, and if it was a little wobbly, so what? “I’m fine. Remembering is painful sometimes, but it’s never a bad thing. Besides, it’s a beautiful night and the company isn’t too bad.”

“Gee, the flattery is just abounding tonight,” he sighed.

Arching one eyebrow, she gave into temptation and leaned against him. When he made no move to stop her, she scooted closer and laid her head on his chest. He was so wonderfully warm and strong.

“Mother always said I had a way with words.”

His chuckle vibrated her cheek. “Well, I hope you aren’t hungry because there is no way I’m moving any time soon to cook.”

Alright, so sue her, that made her grin.

They talked of local news, the kids, his time in the service (Special Forces, of course. Did the man do anything remotely peaceful?), ridiculous family stories. Bella won that one—her great uncle, Ponto “Lost Creek” Baggins, had lost more than some creek, and would do these great impressions of Morgoth in drag at parties—though Thorin’s story, about his cousins who ran moonshine with the hooch hidden in unique places on the body, came in a close second and had Bella laughing so hard she cried and fell on the floor.

Thorin grinned. “If you think that’s wild, you should hear the one about how we misplaced my grandmother’s body on the day of her funeral.”

Hiccoughing her way to calm, Bella shook her head. “No way. How can you misplace a body?”

“Well, my brother was in college and studying theater. They were doing Young Frankenstein and their fake body had lost a leg during an argument between the costume and props department. So he convinced me to help him borrow Grandma just for the one show until they could fix the dummy. She would have gotten a kick out of it. I don’t know how but Frerin could always talk me into anything. Anyway, we snuck into the funeral home and reached the back when the undertaker came in. We had to jump in a coffin to keep from being found.” Thorin broke off suddenly, his gaze going over her head. His expression went utterly cold. “I am going to kill him.”

Twisting around, she didn’t have to look far to see what was the matter.

A crabapple tree was planted squarely on the border between Thorin’s property and the mansion behind it. Branches hung over both properties, their blossoms just beginning to fall. The branches now appeared to be decorated like a Christmas tree with…

“Are those books?” Bella scrambled to her feet.

They were indeed books, with titles like _Find Your Happily Ever After_ , _How to Be Wanted_ , _The Relationship Handbook_ , and, her favorite, _Don’t Be A Dick: How to Not Screw Up the First Date_. Farther up the tree dangled such treasures as boxes of condom (size small), tissues, and porn magazines.

And at the very top was a revolving, neon sign that read: World’s Biggest Prick.

“You know,” Bella said, trying valiantly not to laugh, “that’s a bit of an oxymoron. He only gave us small condoms for the world’s largest prick. How is that supposed to work?”

“I will kill him. Slowly,” Thorin promised. “AZOG!”

A man appeared on the opposite lawn, maybe twenty feet from them. Smart man to stay so far away. Built like a linebacker, the man looked to be around Thorin’s age, with tattoos up and down his arms. “Yes, neighbor dearest?”

Bella placed a hand on Thorin’s arm just in case. He looked ready to flay Azog alive. She shook under the force of her silent laughter.

“Take all of this down, now.”

Azog’s eyes widened dramatically. “Are you saying you don’t appreciate my gifts? I am only trying to help. I know this is the first date you’ve been on in…what was it your sister said…oh yes, years, and being the Good Samaritan that I am, I figured I would do my best to give you advice.”

“One does have to wonder why you are so concerned with Thorin’s love life and not out for a date of your own on a Friday night,” Bella said as Thorin gnashed his teeth.

Both men stared at her, Thorin’s expression softening and Azog looking murderous.

“I date all the time,” Azog bit out.

“Ooh, running through dates, that speaks to commitment issues and devaluing women,” Bella clicked her tongue. “Not to mention, devaluing yourself.”

“Maybe you should see a therapist about that,” Thorin added, drawing Bella close to his side. “Have a heart-to-heart about dear ole mom and dad.”

If looks could kill, both of them would be six feet under right now. Azog took a step toward them, his fists clenched. “I do NOT have a problem!”

“Anger issues,” Thorin said. “Add that to your list.”

Bella shook her head sadly, “you might need a program. Poor soul.”

Azog turned on one heel and stomped back into his house.

Thorin blew out a deep breath and shook his head. “I’m sorry, Bella. I had no idea he would…”

“Project his insecurities onto you? Don’t worry about it. We’ve all had a neighbor from hell before.” She smiled. As if she was going to let that jerk ruin their evening. She hadn't had so much fun since Frodo discovered snow. “Come on and give me a boost. I want to give that sign to Denethor for forcing us to watch that play.”

 

 

 

Handing Bella the marsh mellows turned out to be a strategic mistake on Thorin’s part. She put them on her other side and hoarded them like a dragon. He was only grudgingly allowed one for his stick and even then she criticized his roasting technique.

“Waste of a good marsh mellow,” she sounded mortally offended as his treat caught fire. “You can’t hold it that far into the flame. How is it supposed to caramelize nicely if you just thrust it right into the heat?”

“You’re a S’mores monster,” he told her, laughing. “If I promise to let you do it will I eventually get one to eat?”

Bella considered this. “I suppose I could be convinced to share as long as you don’t murder any more innocents.”

“Convinced, huh?” Call him a crazy optimist, but his gaze dropped immediately to her mouth. The flickering fire light gave a warm cast to her skin that made his fingers itch to trace the constellations of her freckles.

“I’m sure you can think of something. I am terribly susceptible to bribes and flattery.” She shrugged. “Shallow of me, I know, but there you have it.”

Thorin smiled, slow and wicked. “I have a better idea.”

Giving her plenty of time to pull away, he crouched before her and placed a hand under her chin. Slowly, Thorin lowered his mouth to hers. She went utterly still at the first brush of lips, but when she didn’t push him back, he leaned in again.

He had wanted to kiss her from the first time he saw her smile. Thorin was going to savor her.

Her hand crept up his shirt to curl around his neck as he kissed her, butterfly caresses turning to something deeper, harder, better. A groan caught in his throat and he teased her lips open with the tip of his tongue.

Bella pressed closer and her mouth parted oh so slowly. Thorin caught the small sound of surrender she made, convinced he had gone to some sort of paradisiacal hell with her so warm and pliant beneath him but so many clothes between them.

Just as all rational thought fled, water splattered over both of them as the sprinklers spluttered to life. Turned on full blast, Thorin and Bella were soaked in seconds as they jumped apart in surprise. The fire spluttered and hissed under the onslaught of water.

“What the—“ He glanced up just in time to see a bulky figure race away from the gardener’s shed that housed the lawn control systems.

Azog. That bloody, asinine, thrice damned bastard.

“I really am going to kill him this time.” Thorin stood, his hands clenched into fists.

“Your friendly neighbor again?” Bella asked, sounded a little befuddled. She touched her lips and then a small, private smile lit the backyard.

All of his anger evaporated, or at least retreated, in the face of that smile. “Yes. I’m sorry, Bella. It looks dry a little farther up. I’ll grab you a towel.”

“He’s the one who needs those books. You could date any woman in the world if it was common knowledge how well you kiss.” She brushed a caress over his jaw as she stood. “I might swoon.”

Thorin caught her hand, kissed the center of her palm, and tucked it into the crook of his arm. “I’ll catch you.”

“Then we really will be in a Nicholas Sparks book: both of us wet, you playing the hero, and us almost kissing. Maybe I should run and leap into your arms.”

“You’re a miracle, Bella.” Nothing rattled her, not Azog, not Thorin’s odd silences when questions about his past came up, not freezing cold water. She simply accepted what came her way and made the best of it. Mahal, he wished he had her sense of serenity for life.

“No, just well used to strange circumstances.” She followed him to the dry part of the deck, swiping at the mascara on her cheeks. “I must look like a raccoon now.”

“A very cute raccoon.” He offered, earning him a kiss that almost made him forget about the cold night and soaking clothes.

While Bella dried off, Thorin jogged over to the shed and punched the OFF button. The sprinkler heads retreated and the fire roared back to life.

He cast a glance at the other house and saw the flash of light on binoculars from Azog’s porch. It might take some planning, but Thorin was going to get him back for this, big time. He was no stranger to pranks. Soldiers played them on each other all the time, and Thorin had served three tours. Azog had no idea the world of hurt that was about to descend onto his head.

“So,” Bella said once he returned, “what is Azog’s biggest pet peeve?”

“What?”

“Oh, come on. I can see you plotting and I want in. Growing up with my Took cousins, pranks were as essential to family bonding as talking was.”

Mahal, he was a complete goner. She was amazing. “He hates cats. He’s obsessed with his motorcycle.”

Her grin was pure evil. “Would now be a good time to mention I am fantastic with animal sounds?”

“I’ll get the walkie talkies.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Azog has arrived! Nothing quite like a neighbor from hell. The prank war has begun and next time we are going to have a bit of insight into some of Bella's more...covert...skills. 
> 
> Let me know what you think of the date!


	3. Cats you say?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bella and Thorin put their prank, and other things, into motion.  
> Some possible NSFW in this chapter, but very mild.

Bella and Thorin collected everything they needed for the prank, their efforts interspaced with laughter and more than a few kisses.

It was utterly unfair, Bella thought to herself, that a man could be so nice and handsome and still be a great kisser. Surely these things only happened together in romance novels. Not that she was complaining, mind. No, complaining was not something she was likely to do tonight when his taste—chocolate, whiskey, and something utterly devastating—lingered on her lips.

And now here she was, perched on the edge of a balcony sighing to herself over a man. Yeesh, maybe she really was in a romance novel.

Taking a deep breath, she slid into the alert state she had perfected after years of moonlighting as a recovery specialist (a title some people, i.e. most law enforcement personnel, would dispute. _Thief_ would be more in their line of thinking, but Bella didn’t like to use labels. Labels usually led to uncomfortable nights in jail and her cousins shaking their heads in disappointment).

She double checked the bag over her shoulder, made sure no stray drops of water would fall from her wet braid, and slid onto Azog’s master bedroom balcony. Thorin was providing the distractions, so she waited by the French doors for his signal.

At precisely 9:03 the sound of the doorbell echoed through the huge mansion, fed through the surround sound speakers she could see poking out of the walls. Ooh, those might come in handy.

Snarling to himself, Azog flicked off the TV and strode from the room, clad only in leather pants.

Seriously? Who wears leather pants alone in their house?

Then again, Bella was currently attempting a B&E wearing a short pencil skirt and a blouse that was nearly transparent thanks to her soaking. Not exactly optimal thieving wear.

Picking the lock on the doors was a matter of moments and soon Bella padded into the room on silent feet. She took a moment to be utterly horrified by his decoration scheme (a strange mix of goth, baroque, and retro shag), before she headed for the speakers.

“Contact made,” Thorin’s voice reported in her ear.

The plan had three main stages. First, Thorin’s neighbor, Glóin, had to convince Azog that his cat had gotten loose and was last seen heading toward his house. Bella would use the distraction to plant bluetooth speakers about the house, and then she would make cat noises into the microphone currently in Thorin’s possession to lead Azog on a merry chase around his house.

She was pretty sure Thorin had plans for Azog’s inattention, but she had decided plausible deniability might be the way to go for that.

“Can we have cool code names?” she whispered as she searched for the surround sound control panel.

“As you wish, Eagle Two.”

“I don’t think you understand the meaning of the word cool. How about I’m Lucy and you’re Ethel?”

“Lucy?”

“You know, from the show, _I Love Lucy_.” Aware that time was running out, she abandoned the surround sound plan and instead dropped to the floor to wiggle under the bed. Face to face with an impressive stack of magazines, Bella had no trouble figuring out where he had found the material to hang from the tree. What was more worrying was that Azog didn’t have enough time to run to a bookstore and buy the dating books in the time between her arriving and them ending up on the patio. Had he planned this in advance or had the books come from his personal library?

Bella eased a speaker into the fold of fabric between the mattress and the elastic of the fitted sheet. Her habit of reading everything she encountered, even the back of cereal boxes, sent her eyes flying over an open magazine.

“Wow, is that even physically possible?”

“What?”

“The Two Girls, One Ring.” She flipped the page. “Oh, no, wait. I like this one better, Your Entrance to Dul Guldur, My Good Sir. Though I don’t know that anyone bends that way.”

“Bella,” Thorin’s voice sounded a little strangled. “Play fair.”

Chuckling to herself, Bella eased out from under the bed. “Easy mark, Mr. Durinson.”

She ghosted through the house, placing a speaker in the small gap between the wall and the dishwasher, on the back of the living room drapes, and in the guest bathroom underneath the lip of the cabinets.

“Alright, Lucy. He’s bought the story and is about to close the door,” Thorin said.

“Right. Leaving now.” She attached the last receiver to a hallway air vent and screwed it back in place.

Bella almost made it. She was two feet away from the master bedroom door when Azog appeared at the other end of the hallway. Without thinking, she jumped forward and hid in the closest thing, his armoire.

His footsteps paused as if he had caught a glimpse of movement.

Oh no. This was bad. This was so bad. If he opened the wardrobe, she would be immediately spotted. There wasn’t enough clothing to completely disguise her red skirt or bright, white blouse.

“Thorin,” Bella breathed. “I’m stuck.”

“Fu—crap. Alright, hold on. I’ll get him back outside.”

Bella held herself as still as possible as she heard Azog come closer and closer. _Don’t look in the armoire. Don’t look, don’t look._

The wardrobe shook as his hand landed on the handle.

This was incredibly unfair. In all her years sneaking in and out of places, Bella had never even come close to being caught. The file on her robberies was so thin, the police had just about given up hope of ever catching the culprit.

But here she was, in the home of an asshole so far up the Grade A scale you have to ask your butcher to special order it for you, when she hadn’t actually _stolen_ anything, and she was about to get caught.

Yeah, screw you too, Irony.

The handle turned and she pressed herself against the back wall, hardly daring to breathe.

Azog eased the door open, a slat of light widening over the jumble of socks and unhung shirts, growing closer and closer to her feet.

Three inches away.

Two.

One.

RING! RING! RING!

The blare of the doorbell sliced through the house. Nearly biting her tongue in half, Bella forgot how to breathe. Her heart stopped beating for three full seconds as Azog made no move to answer it.

RING! RING! Pause. RING! RING! RING!

With a vicious curse, Azog slammed the door closed and stalked out of the room. Bella gave him three seconds before she followed, her hands shaking so badly, she couldn’t undo the latch.

No. She threw her weight against it but the door didn’t open.

That bastard had blocked her in! He must have slid something between the handles so she couldn’t open it.

Woah buddy was he going to regret that.

Fishing in her belt for her screw driver, Bella squatted on her heels and felt along the roof of the wardrobe. Nails held the roof in, not screws. No matter. She had a crowbar.

“Bella, are you alright?” Thorin asked.

“One sec,” she grunted, levering the hook into the narrow slat between the top and sides. “Aha! Oh, I hope this wasn’t an antique.”

Thorin snorted. “Azog hates everything old. He probably doesn’t understand the meaning of the word antique.”

“Good. How long do I have?”

“Thirty seconds.”

That should be long enough. Bella heaved herself out of the wardrobe and dropped silently onto the floor. She tried to wedge the roof back into place. If no one looked closely, it should pass muster.

Excellent.

Now, for one last thing…

She tossed back Azog’s sheets and upended a flask from her belt. Dried catnip flakes floated down onto the black silk (really? Have some class) sheets. She pulled them most the way back up.

“Incoming. Will you grab him and run for it?”

“Grab him--?” Bella started to ask when a ginger streak answered the question for her.

A kitten leaped onto the bed. Purring, he rolled around in the catnip, bright yellow eyes latched on hers.

“Oh my God! Thorin, you are brilliant!” Bella scooped up the cat, tucked him under one arm, and raced for the balcony. Being sure to relock the door behind her, she bounded for the railing as Azog’s bellow shook the house.

“Bella, jump!”

Not even bothering to question the harsh command, Bella tightened her grip on the cat and soared off the railing.

Strong arms caught her just before she hit the ground and hauled her against a warm chest. Thorin didn’t break stride as he high-tailed it back to his property. He carried her as though she weighed no more than a feather, and a heady feeling of contentment washed over her as she tried to choke back her laughter and convince her heart that she had made it out.

“Well, I much prefer you as Westley, but thanks for catching me, Fezzik,” she gasped.

“Now there’s a reference I can get behind. Are you alright?” He set her on her feet next to the fire.

“Fine.” Adrenaline spiked through her, making her feel reckless and untouchable. “Thanks for the rescue.”

“You’re welcome, though it was as much the cat’s work as it was mine.”

“Are you saying that I should kiss the cat instead of you?” She grinned. “He is quite cute.”

Thorin growled and pulled her into a wild kiss. Bella stood on her toes to kiss him back, wrapping her arms around his neck and parting her lips under his assault. Each time he had kissed her before, they had been gentle, getting to know you kisses. This was nothing like those. Hard, bruising, hot, his mouth took possession of hers, branding his touch onto her soul.

Her blouse came off before she even processed him moving. Blinking the hair out of her eyes, Bella had time to gasp before Thorin returned to her lips. Open mouthed kisses roamed her face and neck and she pressed closer, wanting more, wanting everything.

Hands shaking under the force of her desire, she tore Thorin’s shirt open and purred with delight when she found his hot skin. Muscles rippled and bunched under her touch and Thorin growled, pulling her closer.

Bella smiled. Hard to believe a woman like her could get such a reaction from a man as intense as Thorin, but she wasn’t going to question it.

Biting her lip in anticipation, her fingers wandered lower and lower, following the soft line of black hair. Her thumbs brushed the denim bulge and Thorin ripped his mouth from her neck.

“Bella,” he groaned. “Fuck, we should slow down. I don’t want to ruin this by going too fast.”

“No, no. You’re right. We should stop.” She rested her head on his shoulder, breathing hard. But her hands refused to give up their exploration of his chest. “Okay, new idea. What if we go fast just once, to get it out of our systems, and then we go slow?”

He barked out a laugh that ended on a groan. “That’s not helping. If I have you tonight, it’s not going to be a onetime thing.”

“Kiss me and I’ll forget I said anything.”

“Really not helping.”

Bella pouted and he gave in, kissing her with a desperation she felt all the way to her toes.

“Alright,” she gasped when they parted. “We both step back on three.”

“Right.” Thorin nibbled a line of fire down her neck.

“One.”

He nuzzled the top of her lacy bra cup farther down the swell of her breast.

“Two.”

Her fingertips slipped under the waistband of his jeans.

“Three.”

Swallowing hard, they both stepped back. Bella fanned her face. If they ever did make it to the bedroom, they would set the world on fire.

Thorin took several more steps away, his gaze locked on her mouth. He bent and pulled out the microphone for the speakers she had just placed. A challenge in his gaze, he extended it to her.

“Can I petition the Universe to put this in the running for best first date ever?” she said, laughing as she took it.

“You have strange criteria.” He grinned. “But I’d sign that petition.”

 

They led Azog on a wild chase through his house as Bella meowed into the microphone and Thorin changed which speaker received it. Watching lights flicker on and off in different rooms and hearing his shouts through the open windows was incredibly satisfying.

What was more satisfying was the soft, half naked woman in his arms as they reclined next to the fire. Bella curled up in his lap, head tucked under his chin, with the kitten sleeping on her legs.

Depending on the point of view, the demise of Bella’s shirt in the fire was worrying for how she was going to drive home, or in Thorin’s opinion, a fucking gift. Now her soft skin was his to explore as he teased them both with light touches up and down her stomach and over her chest.

It took every ounce of self-control the Rangers and his past had burned into him to keep from taking Bella right here. Only the realization that she deserved better than a rough stone bench and Azog undoubtedly still had his binoculars kept Thorin from pouncing on her. Sure, it had been a long time for him, but he couldn’t remember another woman who had gotten into his blood quite as quickly and as violently as Bella.

“Hehe. Watch this.” Bella cleared her throat and told him to switch it to the master bedroom. Then she hacked into the microphone in such a convincing imitation of a cat coughing up a fur ball that Thorin checked the kitten just to be sure.

“YOU MANGY FLEA-RIDDEN FUR BAG! IF YOU HAVE STAINED MY SHEETS!” Azog’s yell floated over to them.

Chuckling, Thorin brushed a kiss over Bella’s hair. “How did you get to be so good at imitating cats?”

“Oh, it’s nothing really. When I was little, I was one of the few children in the neighborhood and I am too much of a bookworm to make friends easily. So I would spend most of my time reading or playing with stuffed animals by myself. I practiced making the different sounds as if the animals were talking at our tea parties.” She shrugged. “I was a bit of a weird kid.”

“It sure came in handy today.”

Bella laughed. “Fair point.”

Actually, what he was really curious about was how a librarian came to have a set of lock picks and the ability to so silently climb walls and traipse through houses without getting caught. What exactly did she do in her spare time?

Skin glided against his in a tempting rush as Bella stretched. “What time is it? I should probably get going. I told Gandalf I’d pick Frodo up around nine.”

Thorin glanced at his watched and wished he could lie, but he knew the responsibility of young children well. “It’s nearing nine thirty. I’ll get you a shirt you can borrow.”

“Thank you. Whose cat is this?”

“Err…well he came from Glóin but he told me that to use him, I had to find him a good home.”

“Oh, no. Thorin, I can’t.” Green eyes went wide. “He’s adorable, but—“

Damn. He was going to have to keep the cat. He was not a cat person. “That’s fine. I didn’t mean to make you think you should.”

“Well,” Bella cuddled the kitten close and Thorin experienced a flash of irrational jealousy toward it, “he is really cute. Maybe it will teach Frodo responsibility.”

Thank Mahal. “He needs a name.”

“Hmm. How about…Sauron, the Bane of Hope? Yes, I like that. You’ll be as fierce as your namesake, I can tell already.” She smiled at his look. “It’s from a book.”

Of course it was. The Bane of Hope purred.

He leaned down to kiss her. “It’s perfect.”

Lights flickered on in his house and then the back door opened. “Thorin?”

“Bella girl!”

“Auntie!”

“Uncle!”

Horror flickered over both his and Bella’s faces as Dís, Gandalf, Frodo, Fili, and Kili tramped onto the patio. They all waved cheerfully at them.

Shit.

Clutching Sauron to her chest, Bella went white as she glanced at the charred remains of her shirt.

Double shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That took me longer to write than anticipated, so I made it longish, and I hope you like it!


	4. The Consequences Begin to Catch Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gandalf and Dis reveal why they interrupted and Bella begins to face the consequences of going on a date with a cop when she has a second job.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A heavier tone in this one and it is on the longish side, just to prepare you. But loads of plot and meddling family members

“Aliens,” Bella said next to him, her voice a bare whisper of thread. “We’re going to have to go with aliens.”

Thorin found himself grinning despite the circumstances. It was just his luck that his family, and hers, would waltz in at a time calibrated for optimal awkwardness. “I was going to go with time traveling Vikings, but aliens are the more modern choice.”

Bella’s mouth twitched upward. “That was a horrible pun.”

Shrugging out of his shirt, Thorin wrapped it around Bella and took a hold of the cat. Since she had ripped off the buttons in the heat of the moment, Bella had to tie the bottom panels together under her bra. It left her stomach bare, but it allowed her at least a modicum of modesty with her shoulders and chest covered.

A large part of Thorin rumbled in approval at the sight of her in his clothes. She looked delightfully rumpled, curls falling from her braid where he had run his fingers, lips swollen from kisses, and a strawberry red love bite on her neck.

“Thanks.” Bella reclaimed the kitten. “I hope nothing’s wrong. I can’t imagine why Gandalf is here.”

They were about to find out. The horde of interlopers had reached the steps and were soon upon them.

“Hello! Miss Baggins, isn’t it? My boys love you.” Dis held out her hand.

Bella smiled though there was a panicked edge to it. “Hi. It’s so nice to meet you. Kili and Fili talk about you all the time.”

Frodo ran over and jumped in her arms. He caught sight of the fire and his welcoming smile turned thunderous. “Auntie, are you having S’mores without me?”

“We saved some for you. Is everything alright?” She glanced at Gandalf.

The Chief smiled. “Fine, fine. There was simply some business to discuss that couldn’t wait. I apologize for interrupting your night, but criminals don’t always play by our timelines.”

“No kidding,” Thorin muttered, ruffling his nephews’ hair. Why couldn’t the criminals have butted in during the play and not just when he discovered an addiction to Bella's taste?

Bella turned to him. “Thank you for a wonderful time. I—“

“Miss Baggins?” Fili frowned up at her. “What’s that on your neck? It’s red and round.”

Face going comically white, Bella clapped her free hand over her neck.

Dis grinned. “It’s called a love mark, sweetheart, and that’s an impressive one.”

“How did she get it?”

“Ah, that I will answer when you get older. What I find most impressive, however, is that Thorin is sporting one as well.”

Thorin glared at his sister, but her smile grew. Though now he looked, he saw Bella’s fair skin had turned red from whisker burn. Damn. He would have to be vigilant about shaving. The thought of her in any discomfort bothered him.

Bella cleared her throat and blushed when he winked at her. He liked the thought of her marking him as her own. Mahal knew he had marked her several times over. “We won’t keep you. If Gandalf is here, then I know it must be important.”

“Wait, Bella girl.” Gandalf’s teasing grin slid from his face. “There is something I need to discuss with you as well. Perhaps we can talk while Thorin finds a shirt.”

“Yes, dear brother, really. This isn’t a calendar photo shoot,” Dis chuckled. “You’ll scare the neighbors if you keep this up.”

“Alright, enough,” he snapped. She could tease him all she wanted, that was in the family contract, but he wouldn’t let her make Bella uncomfortable.

“What happened to your shirt, Uncle?” Kili tugged on his hand.

“I’m wearing it,” Bella said before he could come up with a good story. “He was nice enough to loan it to me after mine was burnt.”

Everyone looked at the fire.

“How did yours end up there?” Kili persisted.

“Do you remember the book we read last month, Gulliver’s Travels?” She beckoned the kids over to the bench where she could sit by the sleeping kitten.

“Yes.” Frodo immediately zeroed in on the marsh mellows and passed them out, handing two to Gandalf after the chief gave him a dry look.

Thorin suppressed a smile. Obsessed with sweets, the whole family.

“Gulliver had to use whatever was around him to make it home and defeat his enemies, right? Well, Thorin and I ran into an opponent tonight and we had to get creative about how to win the game,” Bella said.

That was relatively true, he supposed. He might not have gotten so wild with her if his adrenaline hadn’t been overriding his usual sense of caution and Bella’s shirt had been soaked first from the sprinkler incident.

The kids considered this and thankfully accepted it.

“Did you meet any horses?” Fili asked. “Did they call you Yahoos?”

“We met a donkey,” Thorin said. “And he called us something similar.”

Bella kicked him in the shin.

Laughing under his breath, he walked to the house to go find a shirt.

Dis fell into step next to him. “So?”

“So how did you and my boss end up crashing the party?” he asked.

“So how did you end up making out with a woman you just met when you believe, and I quote, ‘lust at first sight exists but only idiots go through with it’, Mister Keeps Everyone at a Distance?” Dis said at the same time.

Somehow, even though her question was much longer, they finished speaking at the same time.

Thorin rolled his eyes. “Is that going to be my new nickname?”

“It might. An answer for an answer?” It was an old game they used to play. More often than not, the three Durinson siblings knew what their elders tried to keep from them, and by pooling their resources could they piece together the whole story. But that meant giving up precious information they could lord over one another. To keep things fair, they traded information.

“Alright. You first.”

“Nice try. You’re the one without a shirt.”

Rolling his eyes, he held open the door for her. “Fine. Bella’s different.”

Dis raised an eyebrow. “Uh-huh. You know how this works. Use your words, my taciturn brother.”

He sighed. “I realize that sounds like something from the romance novels you are so fond of reading, but it’s true. She… she accepts me, all my rough edges so I don’t feel the need to change, even just for one evening. And, she’s hot.”

“Hmm. Yes, she is. I wouldn’t have pegged her as your type, though. But I liked how she handled the kids.” Dis smiled. “I’m happy for you, Thorin. I think she can handle you too.”

Thorin had a sneaking suspicion that the shifting feeling he felt every time he kissed Bella was not just the world moving in awe, but him becoming more and more entwined around her little finger.

Not that he would ever tell his sister that. “Your turn.”

“Well, we were coming back from the arcade when Fili reminded me I promised ice cream. When we stopped at Caradhras’s Creamery, we ran into Gandalf and little Frodo. He answered a call and said he needed to talk with you. Since he was already going to ruin your date, I figured I could sneak a peek at this woman.” Strictly honest, that was his sister.

It must be something related to their current case. The body count was rising and the dead ends growing more frustrating. The victims grew more and more innocent as well. Such an urgent case was the only reason Gandalf would violate Thorin’s day off. In their profession breaks were almost sacred.

Jogging up the stairs to his bedroom as if he could somehow run away from the growing dread, Thorin tried not to jump to worst case scenarios, but it was no use. Something about this case rubbed him the wrong way, and had since day one. It wasn’t just the horrific ways in which the murderer killed his victims, Thorin had been a cop too long for much to surprise him anymore, even though each case stayed with him. There was just something about this case that evoked the crushing sense of helplessness he had felt in the prison camp during the war and when his family got the letter from their lawyer on the day of Grandpa's funeral.

Dis followed him. “Are you going to see her again?”

“I have no idea. The Future has yet to clarify that.” He rifled through his closet.

About to grab another button down, he paused when Dis shook her head. “No, go for a black shirt. Tight but not obscenely so. Trust me on this.”

He shrugged but followed her instructions and pulled on a black shirt with his Rangers’ regiment number stamped on the sleeve. “Did Gandalf say anything about the phone call?”

“Nope. Though I did hear him mutter some words.”

They stared at each other for a moment before Thorin gave in. “Alright, alright. I don’t know if I’ll see her again, but yes, I want to and yes, I’m going to ask.”

Dis beamed. “Good! I think this is good, Thorin. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you smile so easily.” She hugged him before taking pity on his reticence for mushy stuff and snapped back into mother bear mode. “The phone call was quick, but when he hung up, he muttered something about timing, a recovery specialist, and an awkward conversation. Then he sighed and said ‘nothing for it. We need the evidence.’ Right then a group came in and I couldn’t catch the last bit, but I swear he said something about a spider.”

All of which made absolutely no sense out of context. That was alright. Thorin could be patient.

“Come on. You can tell me about Azog on the way down. Is he the one who gave you the black eye?”

Thorin glanced up sharply. “How-“

“did I know he was involved? The man’s an ass with a vendetta against you. There is no way he would have left you alone tonight. Why do you think I was so against you having the date here?” Dis said.

“How is it that you’re not the cop?” he asked.

“Nah, I’d rather use my powers for evil.”

Mahal, he hoped that was a joke. The world wasn’t ready for Dis unleashed.

 

 

 

“I have a new client for you,” Gandalf said quietly as the boys took their marsh mellows to the fire.

Bella kept her sudden tension from showing in her back. “A new client? Have you met someone willing to donate to the library?”

“No, Bella girl. There’s no need to hide from me. I’ve known for years. Why do you think the Web Cutter has had such an easy time of it, avoiding the cops?”

She waited for the fear and panic to hit, but all she felt was a thick wave of guilt. All these years she had hated lying to her godfather, the one member left in her family she felt actually cared about her. But he was the Chief of Police and she was…well, she was a Hobbit.

The Hobbits, as the cops called them, were the nonlethal side of the criminal underground. Fences, thieves, and forgers, they could find out anything. For a price. They were a highly insular community that tended to fly below the radar of both law enforcement and the wider criminal world because they kept their heads down and never did too much to draw attention to themselves.

Gandalf sighed and patted her on the back. “While I dislike the fact that you do not work within the law, I admire what you have done. You secured the evidence necessary to take down that nasty ring of human traffickers out of Bree and last year it was only because of your well timed robbery that we got into the Mewlips’ organization. Our file on you is very slim despite your various activities, but we do have some evidence against you, Bella.”

“Are you blackmailing me?” she asked curiously. If so, it was the politest attempt she had ever encountered.

“Not at all. Merely making you aware of the facts, and building up to ask you a favor.” Gandalf pulled out his pipe and stuck it between his teeth without lighting it. Though she had lost the battle of getting him to quit to save his lungs, she had put her foot down and told him not to expose Frodo to second hand smoke. For him to have it now meant whatever he was about to ask unsettled him.

And whatever unsettled Gandalf terrified her.

“Smaug owns most of the wealth in this city, as you know. We’ve suspected him of illegal activity for years- everything from insider trading to theft to murder. Unfortunately, he’s also as smart as he is greedy and we haven’t much evidence to get a conviction past his team of lawyers. However, at the beginning of his tenure, he made one mistake. It is that mistake we must now capitalize on.” Gandalf inclined his head toward the mansion. “He murdered Thorin and Dis’s grandfather, stole the ownership of their mining and petroleum company, and threw the family from their home.”

Bella covered her mouth with her hands. “Oh my God.” No wonder Thorin was so reluctant to talk about his past. If the man responsible for ruining his family was still alive and well, it would inspire anyone to silence and secrecy.

“They’ve managed to recover pieces of their land like this house, but I just received word that Smaug is about to move against them again. He wants to see the whole family wiped out.” Gandalf spat to the side. “Starting with the children.”

Her heart forgot how to beat. Not Fili and Kili. “What do I need to do?”

“There is one thing that can bring him down. Years ago when the Durinson family company, Erebor, was at its peak, Thror decided to display their wealth in a very ostentatious way. He bought the Arkenstone, the fifty carat diamond, and put it on display in the lobby of the building. While Smaug’s takeover of the company was couched in legal terms that his lawyers sold to the judges, the cops have a file on the theft of the Arkenstone. He stole it before Erebor became his. The security camera caught him, though he wore a mask and his lawyers threw up quite the defense.”

“If we can pin the theft of the Arkenstone on him, then we can put him behind bars for that until we can dig up the evidence for the rest of it.” Bella finished. “Alright. So you want me to find it and place it somewhere the cops can find that will tie to Smaug.”

“Essentially, yes. We are having a war council tomorrow. Come so we can figure out the details.”

“This will be illegal.” She felt compelled to point out.

“Sometimes, Bella girl, we must do what we know to be right no matter the obstacles. We will follow the law as best we can for the rest, but the time for action has come,” Gandalf said.

“Alright,” Bella said. “Do I have a time table?”

“The sooner the better. I have a terrible feeling these recent deaths can be placd at Smaug’s door even if he didn’t pull the trigger himself, so to speak,” Gandalf said. “Now about Thorin…do you wish to tell him?”

Bella sighed. “In your honest opinion, do you think he would approve? Of any of this? Yeah, me either. I don’t just mean some initial, get over my cop morals, I mean real, existential crises. I think he might see the necessity of it, but he has too much faith in the law to accept what I do. And after the Army and his current job, who can blame him?”

“He will find out eventually,” Gandalf pointed out gently.

“Most likely.” Thorin was too smart for her to expect otherwise. “But telling him tonight…” She shook her head. Later she could watch his respect for her crumble, but she wanted her memory of tonight untainted.

Funny how the one man she let slip past her guard, the one person to breach her fortress of solitude, was the one who would hate the person she really was.

Yeah, hilarious.

Gandalf considered her for a long moment. “Very well, not tonight. Come to our council tomorrow. One o’clock.”

“Oh, no. No, I can’t. Absolutely not.”

“Bella, we need you.”

“You have me, but I work best alone. Not to mention that with your job you need plausible deniability. And when I go after Smaug, if he suspects me, he will be ruthless in his vengeance. If something happens to me, you’ll have to make sure Frodo is safe.” She scooted down the bench as if she could get away from his logic, but Gandalf followed her.

“All valid concerns and ones we can address at the meeting. You are just afraid of how Thorin will react. While I am sorry to threaten your relationship with him, I do believe if you fight for it, he will see sense,” he said before muttering, “eventually,” under his breath.

Relationship? This was their first date! There wasn’t a solid foundation to weather the blow of her second job. Sure she had hope that one day there might be a real and wonderful and strong thing between them, but this revelation would wipe that future away.

Bella stared at the fire without really seeing it. How could she make Gandalf understand? It wasn’t just about whatever this was between them. This was about destroying what Thorin held sacred. Gandalf might be the Chief of Police and have deep respect for law and order, but he had never been afraid of bending the rules.

Something in Thorin’s past, whatever it was that happened, prevented him from relinquishing control even in the heat of the moment, holding a little piece of himself back. It had convinced him to place all that he was on the bedrock of the clear line between right and wrong. She had a feeling that as much as he wanted to catch bad guys, Thorin had become a cop to renew his belief that the road he had chosen was the right one.

Asking him to consider using a thief to help justice was going to be a stretch. If phrased as a way to protect his family and get a psycho off the streets, he would suffer it. Telling him that the woman he had let into his home and nephews’ lives, the woman he identified with, wasn’t what she appeared... it would threaten his core beliefs. What he would do then was anyone’s guess.

He had obviously been deeply betrayed before and she hated that she would be casting herself with those who had broken his trust.

Fili and Kili waved when they saw her watching. She smiled and waved back though she wanted nothing more than to curl into a ball and disappear.

“I know you don’t want to hurt anyone, Bella girl. You have your father’s compassionate heart. I would not ask you if there was another way. I have failed in recent years at keeping you safe as a godfather ought. That whole business with Gollum—“

Bella flinched violently.

“—and now I am asking you to put yourself in terrible danger. But both of us have become too comfortable. Terrible things are at work in the shadows. What kind of future can we guarantee Frodo if we do not become torches to banish the shadows closest to us?”

She was silent for a long moment. “The problem with torches, godfather, is that they stutter and die, leaving the darkness deeper than before.”

“Not if they ignite other torches along the way.”

 _Then we’d all go up in flames_. But she stayed silent and went back to watching the kids.

“One o’clock, my house,” Gandalf said before he went to wheedle a S’more free of the bottomless pits.

She supposed that all it came down to was whether or not she would give up her personal freedoms or if she’d continue to hide behind her nomme de guerre.

But if it meant Frodo didn’t have to worry about the quagmire of fear and paranoia that infiltrated all professions because of Smaug or live in fear of the return of the Shadow Party to the government, then it wasn’t a question at all.

Bella sighed to herself. She sounded terribly dramatic, even in her head. How could she dread giving up something she never had? Thorin was a high octane man and she was a librarian, more at home in books than reality. Sure, tonight had been wonderful, but it was only one date.

And a kiss that moved the world beneath her feet.

Glancing up, she found Thorin and Dis headed back over. Thorin wore a black shirt that set off his blue eyes and showed his fitness. Heat unfurled again low in her abdomen, especially when he smiled at her.

Bella smiled back and sighed. Well, Mother had always said she had terrible timing. Bella just hadn’t realized how terrible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many apologies for the delay between updates! I ended up on a cross country road trip. So I made this one a long and plot-heavy chapter. Bit of a darker tone, but it was time to move things along. 
> 
> As always, let me know what you think!


	5. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gandalf convenes a war council and Bella tells Thorin

The doorbell rang again though Thorin knew everyone had arrived. Gandalf hosted the impromptu brainstorming session after two more men were found burned to death after going up against Smaug.

Balin, a retired cop who had first dealt with the Durinson’s case, sat at the table with Gandalf. Dwalin was here as was the head of the White Collar crime division, Nori. Mucking about in the kitchen was his family’s lawyer, Dori, with his understudy Ori. They were currently arguing with the aging medical examiner, Oin.

The sound caused everyone to fall silent before Gandalf checked his watch. “Excellent. Always been punctual, that one.”

“That one who?” Thorin asked, but the chief ignored him.

As Gandalf left to answer the door, Nori threw another log into the fireplace, and Dwalin couldn’t contain his grin.

“Better watch out with that fire, Nori. Thorin might take it as a reason to show us all his chest.”

He was going to kill Dis. Thorin threw Dwalin an ugly hand sign and propped his legs up on the table.

“Oh no. He’s posing already. The shirt’s coming off soon.”

The jokes from this were never going to die. Thorin had woken up to a score of emails and text messages from his brothers in arms asking for a preorder link to his shirtless photo catalog.

“You’re just jealous that I get to meet cute co-models,” Thorin said. “Luthien’s Secret has already called me. All set up for the morning: two blondes and I will on the magazine’s cover.”

“So coffee tomorrow’s out?” Bella’s soft voice cut through the men’s snorts.

All of the blood drained from Thorin’s face, and he hurriedly set his feet down.

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. All of his experience women told him this would not end well.

“Bella, it was just—“

“A joke? Damn, I was hoping you could introduce me to the models. I’ve always had a thing for Behati.” She smiled as she came into the room though there was a tension in her that kept it from reaching her eyes. He relaxed slightly when she didn’t dissolve into hysterics. He should have known Bella would realize it was a joke. “Hello, gentlemen.”

“Hello lassie,” Dwalin said. “Here to talk to your godfather?”

“She’s here to talk to all of us,” Gandalf said, popping up behind her.

“Eventually. If I could borrow Thorin for just a moment first.”

“Nonsense. Everyone needs to know. Best to tell them all at once.”

Bella shook her head. “Thorin first.”

She and Gandalf met gazes and their contest of wills was so strong, the others were almost a casualty.

What was she doing here? What did she have to tell law enforcement professionals that Gandalf thought was relevant to the case? And why did she insist on telling him first?

Getting to his feet, Thorin strode over and gently tugged Bella to the side. “I don’t mind, Chief.”

She led him to a guest bedroom and closed the door behind them. As he sat on the foot of the bed, she began to pace, her hands clenched at her sides. Occasionally she would stop, open her mouth as if to say something, then look at him, and give a frustrated mewl.

As adorable as it was, Thorin was rapidly growing concerned. He reached out and caught her hand. “Bella, what is it? Are you alright?”

He ran his thumb in circles over her palm. If she had been calmer, and there hadn’t been half the police department in the other room, Thorin would have dragged her into his arms to pick up where they left off last night. He had lain awake for hours dreaming of her.

She sighed. “Yes. I just…before I say anything, I want you to know that I had a wonderful time last night and I really, really like you. I almost drove away when I first got there because already I respected you too much to put you in this position. As it is, I’m sure when this conversation ends, there will be no chance of coffee tomorrow, but I want you to know that I will always be open to it.”

“Alright…” Where was this going?

“My godfather has decided that the time has come for action against Smaug, namely the removal of the Arkenstone from his possession to let the authorities find it so they can tie at least that to him.”

Thorin nearly choked on his tongue. “How do you know about the Arkenstone?”

Bella didn’t hear him. “That’s where I come in. See, last night I could tell you were curious about how a librarian gets a set of lock picks, and I have an easy answer for you. My second job requires a certain skill set. Probably just knowing most of those skills would be cause enough for a stint in jail. Though, I personally think that certain survival—“ She cleared her throat. “Sorry, I have a tendency to ramble. Right. I should just come out and say it.”

There was a long silence.

Bella finally met his gaze. “I’m the Web-Cutter.”

Thorin waited for someone to pop out of the closet and yell JUST KIDDING!, but when nothing happened, he was forced to confront the truth in Bella’s green gaze.

“Do you know the one piece of evidence your White Collar division has on me?” she asked when he said nothing.

“Markings on the thief’s thigh. During one robbery, the thief’s pants got caught and part of the leg ripped away. The responding officer saw web like markings on the thief’s skin. Very distinctive," he said, his mind regurgitating the information automatically. It had been the talk of the station for weeks. Who had markings like that?

Bunching up her floor length, printed skirt, Bella drew the fabric up her legs and turned around.

Blood rushed south of his belt when he took in the expanse of her firm, pale legs. He could imagine kissing his way up her skin, finding the spot behind her knee sure to make her moan before going higher… higher…

Thin, twisting lines of bold dark brown crisscrossed the back of her thighs in concentric, angles that coalesced into… “A spider web.”

Thorin struggled to take it all in. Bella was the Web-Cutter? How? Why?

“Apparently I have a unique reaction to henna.” She let the fabric fall back to the floor. “Good thing I started with something like that in college and not an actual tat. Though I suppose the end result has been the same.”

“You’re a thief,” he said. It couldn’t be. Not the Bella who had laughed with him last night, the one who had given him hope that loneliness didn’t have to be a default setting.

But the events of last night came back to him. She had scaled the walls like a pro, had a set of lock picks, and kept her calm throughout it all. How had he not seen it? Damn it, could he not trust _anyone_?

Somehow, this was worse than Smaug. He at least had been up front about his intentions toward their family. He had never gotten under Thorin's skin, made him laugh, made him....hope.

Shit. Piss. Fuck. When would he learn? All he could count on was family.

“Recovery specialist.” She shrugged. “But yes. I would tell you that I’m selective about my clients or that the money is needed, but I can already tell you don’t want to hear it, and I’m not going to make excuses. I’ve done what I felt necessary, and I don’t regret my actions.”

No, there was no apology in her gaze for her work, only a bone deep sorrow he didn’t understand.

“If Gandalf hadn’t made you, would you ever have told me?” he asked, rising to his feet. “Maybe waited until after we slept together or drop it on me during a family dinner? ‘Oh, hey, honey, by the way, you’re a cop but I’m about to be arrested for robbery. Pass the potatoes!’ Or were you just waiting until you where close enough to steal what little we have left?”

Bella said nothing. That green gaze watched as his ideas about her shattered.

“You’re a fucking librarian! You shouldn’t be anywhere near those kids.”

That, apparently, was going too far. Bella’s hair seemed to crackle with anger as she put her hands on her hips. “I’m a thief, Thorin, not a sexual predator. I would never do anything to endanger my students.”

Disgusted with her, disgusted with himself for trusting her, disgusted with the whole situation, Thorin threw up his hands and made for the door. He almost missed her instinctive flinch at the motion. She hid it well in a sharp motion to shake out her skirts, but he saw it.

His eyes narrowed. Did she really think he would hit her? Is that what she thought of him? Fucking Mahal. “Stay the fuck away from my family, Miss Baggins.”

Bella smiled sadly. “As you wish.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so Thorin finds out! Rough seas ahead, I'm afraid. I guess we'll just have to see if their ship is secure enough to weather them (hehe, pun intended). 
> 
> I'll do my best to update soon!


	6. Awkward conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bella gets her marching orders, Dis meddles (and so does Gandalf), and Thorin doesn't know what to think.

Well, Bella would say this for the war council, they didn’t mess around. Once she convinced the others of her credentials as the Web-Cutter, they got down to business. Sure, there were a few mumbles (mostly curses from Thorin), and one or two snide remarks (also from Thorin), but on the whole, these men trusted Gandalf and, by extension, the need to involve her. Most of them didn’t like bending the law like this, but they saw the necessity of it.

“The Arkenstone could be in one of five places,” Gandalf said, handing her a folder. “They are ranked by probability with the security measures that we know of on the following pages.”

There was one page after the list. It read, in Gandalf’s spidery handwriting, _I know you’ll do your own recon anyway so I didn’t waste my time._

She rolled her eyes and went back to the list. A whistle escaped her as her eyes flickered down it. “You do realize that I’m not a miracle worker, right?”

Gandalf’s bushy eyebrows crashed together. “Are you saying you can’t do this?”

“I’m saying that no one has ever broken into the Ft. Ancalagon. The last person to try was found floating in the Anduin river. And that’s just the first one on the list. I’m not even mentioning Erebor itself,” she said. When Gandalf’s expression didn’t change, she sighed. “Give me a few days and I’ll figure something out.”

“Excellent,” he beamed.

“You could find a good disguise,” Ori said eagerly. “All the spies and thieves in movies use them.”

Thorin snorted. “She doesn’t need a disguise. She can just lie her way into that too.”

Bella rolled her eyes. The first few comments she might have deserved, but after ten she stopped feeling sorry for him. Yes, she hadn’t been strictly honest with him, but it had been _one_ date, and she was putting her life on the line to help him. Who tells all their secrets after the first date anyway?

“If you think that’s the best place to start, I’ll do recon and give you a timeline by Wednesday. Let’s talk budget. Do you have one or am I funding this on my own?” she asked, ignoring the outburst.

“Unlimited,” Gandalf said. “We have a few backers.”

Wow. Her estimation of his determination skyrocketed. “Who—never mind, I probably want to be able to plead innocence.”

“Darlin’,” Thorin drawled in that ridiculously sexy voice of his, “the only thing you know about innocence is how to spell it.”

“And the only way you’d recognize tact is if I rammed it straight up your ass,” she said sweetly. “Too bad your head is already so tightly wedged up there nothing else can fit.”

Dwalin coughed into his hand to disguise a laugh as Thorin’s expression turned thunderous.

Turning back to her godfather, she continued, “then I’ll come up with a budget for you to approve once I’ve figured out a plan.”

“Ah, I am not running point on this investigation,” he said, just a hint of sheepishness in his expression.

Oh no. “Who is?”

_Please don’t say Thorin, please don’t say Thorin, please don’t-_

“Detective Thorin Durinson,” Gandalf said.

Bella tipped back her seat and glared at the ceiling. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you? This is repayment for the skunk incident.”

Dwalin glanced up as well. “Who are you talking to, lassie?”

“My parents.” She sighed. “Very well. I will give you the budget estimate, Detective.”

Thorin growled something under his breath she took as agreement, and she left shortly afterward. The rest of the meeting didn’t concern her work and Gandalf had always been big on compartmentalization. Besides, she had enough to worry about as it was.

She sat in her car for a moment just breathing. It wasn’t regret that weighed on her shoulders, just a realization that life never gave her anything straight. Two seconds of happiness and then she caught the sucker punch in the gut each time. She and Thorin could have had a great thing, and the worst part was that she respected him, what he had done for his family and how far he had come in life. And now they’d have cold silences and snarky remarks.

Turning the key, she took a deep breath and drove away. Just as she reached the highway the check engine light came on, a deep red Evil Eye that seemed in line with her day.

 

The day began at three a.m. with a new corpse decorating the streets of Arnor. After three days of no sleep, Thorin hardly noticed the hour of the call. He and Dwalin had processed the scene and then dove back into the files they had already been over a thousand times.

When they resurfaced around lunch, neither of them were in good moods. In fact, if they hadn’t been cops, they might have murdered the café waiter who served them decaf on accident. After sifting through the soggy French fries they headed back to the station where yet another surprise awaited him.

Riotous curls carefully pinned back and nose stuck in a book, Bella looked out of place in the chaotic squad room. Several of the detectives shot her interested looks as she curled her feet up under her and leaned forward to put her chin in her hand. Amidst the tumult of crime scene photos taped to every available surface and the pervasive smell of coffee, she was a benediction of peace.

Dwalin clapped Thorin on the back. “Have fun. I’ll get coffee for when you’re done. And a cleanup crew.”

“Betting I’m going to kill her?” Thorin grunted, not taking his eyes from Bella.

“Oh, I’m betting alright. Just on a different outcome.”

Thorin eyed his partner who suddenly decided it would be a good idea to make for the other side of the room.

“Miss Baggins,” Thorin said, stopping a few feet in front of her. “Something I can help you with?”

Those deep green eyes flickered to his. “Hello. Do you have a moment? I have that budget estimation for you.”

“Ah.” His gaze flickered automatically over her, unable to resist temptation. She wore a wrap dress today in a deep red that brought out the auburn in her hair. The dress hit her curves perfectly until not even her rather dowdy white cardigan could disguise her appeal.

As he raised his head, his eyes snagged on a slice across her cheek. “You’re hurt.”

Bella blinked in surprise. Her hand crept to her face. “Oh, it’s nothing. Occupational hazard. We were cutting up strips for papier-mâché yesterday.”

He had half expected her to say she got it in a knife fight with one of Smaug’s guards. Which brought him right back to his anger with her and this general situation. “We’ll talk in my office.”

Once the door closed behind them, Bella didn’t waste time. She pulled a folder from her handbag and handed it to him.

Thorin couldn’t help but chuckle at the sight of the leather bag. “Haven’t knocked anyone out today with it, have you?”

“No, but my taxi driver tempted me,” she said with a hesitant smile.

As he flipped open the report, Thorin felt his smile disappear. He couldn’t forget why she was really here, who she really was.

When he got to the bottom of the estimate, he was scowling. “That’s a lot of money to break into one building. This is all just for the job? Trying to rob us as well as Smaug?"

“A lot of my equipment isn’t cheap. And that’s for all five, not just one. I scoped them all out this week,” she said sharply. “Though I do caution it is an estimate, not the final number.”

“Industrious of you,” he murmured. “I take it you have a plan, then?”

He saw her bite back at least three sarcastic comments before settling on a sharp nod.

“What is it?”

“Do you approve the budget or not?”

The door opened before the stalemate could really get going. Thorin knew who it was without breaking eye contact with Bella. Only his sister never knocked.

“Oh! Hello, Bella. Nice to see you again!” Dis blew into the room and came over to give Thorin her customary hug. “Actually, this works out well that you’re here.”

“Err…really?” Bella frowned.

“Yes, now I’m not one to meddle—“

Thorin coughed, loudly.

“—but my schedule is filling up this week and I wanted to know when I should be taking the boys out of the house again,” she beamed at them.

“Oh, no, Dis, that’s not…” Bella began before shooting Thorin a desperate look.

“That’s not necessary,” Thorin said stiffly.

“Ah! I see, you’re not coming to the house. Wonderful. Not that you’re not welcome, Bella dear, but with the boys it can get a little tricky scheduling wise.”

“No, Dis,” he growled.

Her eyes narrowed as she figured it out. “Thorin, sweet Mahal, what did you do?”

Bella sighed. “Oh, boy.”

“It’s none of your business,” he said. “If you’ll give us just a moment, we have to finish up—“

“Of course it’s my business! You’re my brother and she teaches my kids! I’m not leaving here until you tell me what’s wrong. Either we’ll fix this or I’m taking Bella out for a long talk about how to respect our family.” She crossed her arms.

Thorin knew it was no use. Dis could match him for stubbornness. Mahal, could this day get any worse? Besides, the Arkenstone was her legacy as well. She deserved to know even if the details didn't concern her.

He bit out the short version of Bella’s moonlighting career and Gandalf’s overarching plan.

Dis was silent for a long moment before turning to Bella who returned her gaze steadily though she was a little paler than usual. “A thief?”

“Recovery specialist,” Bella murmured, causing him to snort. No need to sugarcoat it.

“Web-Cutter… Web-Cutter…I’ve read about you! You helped bring down that human trafficking ring last year. Wow! You know most people take up knitting as a hobby, not bringing major league creeps to justice.”

“I always get the yarn tangled.” Bella shrugged. “I had to switch to save my patience.”

Mahal above, now there were two of them.

Dis turned back to him. “Well, that’s nice to know. Now, back to my question. When should I take the boys out to Dave and Busters?”

Thorin worked his jaw before he could speak around his frustration. “That’s it? Damn it, Dis! She’s a thief who sells her services to the highest bidder!”

“I steal things. I don’t sell myself,” Bella snapped.

“That’s not what I meant,” he ground out, more bothered than he should be by the hurt in her gaze.

“Yeah, sure.” She shook her head.

It took a minute to get a hold of his outrage again. “She works against everything we’ve built our lives on. I can’t trust her so there’s no way I can date her,” he told his sister. “You should be upset, too.”

“Why? It sounds like she’s going to a lot of trouble to help our family. If you’re so concerned with the law, then you shouldn’t be anywhere near this scheme. Stop being a hypocrite,” Dis said, hands on her hips.

Bella muttered something that sounded like “amen”, but when he turned his glare on her, she was stone-faced.

Feeling besieged and unsure, Thorin said the words he knew would clear his office out in ten seconds flat. “What about the boys? Do you trust her with them?”

Bella went white. She reached over and snatched the folder from his hands. “You go too far. I love those kids as my own. If you don’t want my help, then fine. I won’t force you to endure my presence any longer. But if you ever insinuate something like that again, you will greatly regret it.”

Dis shook her head as the door closed quietly behind Bella. “That was well done. Really, you should give lessons on how to offend women.”

Thorin ran a hand over his face. He kept seeing Bella go rigid as the words hit, he didn’t need his sister piling on.

A gentle hand touched his. “Thorin, just think about what I said. Cut Bella some slack. She did tell you after all, and she is trying to help.”

“Hngh.” He wasn’t sure what to think anymore.

“Well, I’m off. And Thorin?” She paused by the door. “I won’t let you sacrifice everything for this family again. I just want you to be happy, Arkenstone or no.”

The door clicked shut, leaving Thorin alone to puzzle over that comment and what to do about Bella.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo! Finished that chapter faster than I thought. Loads of angst and snide remarks-- It must be Thorin! 
> 
> Next time there will be lots of paint, a surprise dinner guest, and lots of Frodo and Sauron, Bane of Hope.


	7. The Art of Apologizing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bella and Frodo have art night when an unexpected dinner guest arrives

“Ta-Da!” Frodo announced with a final flourish of his paintbrush.

Bella looked up from her own painting. Thursdays were art nights in the bungalow at the end of Bagshot Row. They had tried papier-mâché, macramé, coloring, and now painting. Frodo had decided they should do a still life of his stuffed hedgehog, pony, and dragon.

“Wow!” She kissed his head. “It’s wonderful, better than mine!”

Both of them were covered in paint splatters though the sheets she had hurriedly thrown over the furniture had spared her dining room the same fate. To give them the full effect, she had crafted palettes out of cardboard and they wore the bright red berets Frodo had insisted on. Frodo drank Strawberry Qwik out of a sippy cup and Bella had a glass of wine. The kitten, Sauron, had been around for a while until Frodo got a little overexcited and splattered paint everywhere. With a new streak of blue in his fur, Sauron had wisely decided it was nap time at the other end of the house.

“Let me see yours!” Frodo hopped off the piles of books in his chair. He squinted at her painting before looking at her. “Auntie… Bill’s a pony, not a bunny.”

She frowned. Alright, so his legs were a little stumpy. “Artistic license.”

Frodo sighed. “That’s cheating, Auntie.”

She laughed. “Yes it is. Let’s leave them to dry while we make dinner. How about stuffed mushrooms?”

“With cheesy broccoli.”

“Ooh, I agree.”

“And Mr. Bean!” He bounced in place.

The doorbell rang as they rinsed out their brushes and threw out the palettes.

Bella stepped around a large splatter of wet paint on the floor. “Frodo, take care of this, please. I don’t want anyone to slip in it.”

“Yes, Auntie.”

“Thank you.” He was such a good kid. She knew little about parenting, but they were making it work. After the recent upset with Thorin, the death of her parents and then his, and Bella’s experience with Gollum…her mind shied away from those memories. Well, each day with Frodo was a gift.

She checked the visitor through the peephole and almost didn’t open the door. Resting her forehead on the worn wood, she practiced a polite smile. _No cursing,_ she told herself, _Frodo can hear_.

“Right,” she muttered before she took a deep breath and opened the door. “Detective, hello.”

Thorin nodded to her. A smile sneaked over his face as though against his will as he took her in. “ _Bonjour, mademoiselle. Je ne savais pas qu'il y avait soirée peinture_." Hello, Miss. I didn’t realize it was a paint party.

Bella tried not to smile as she replied in English. She could understand and read/write several languages, but she was horrible at speaking them. A by-product of being a loner, she supposed. “That's alright. We're done. I’m afraid our models have been re-purposed to fight trolls.”

Thorin rested one shoulder on the doorjamb. “Dare I ask?”

She shrugged. “Frodo chose the subject. Something I can help you with, Detective?”

The shift in subject brought the coldness back, but Bella had to do something. If he kept smiling at her, being ridiculously charming and worldly, she would do something stupid like forget how awful he had been.

“Yes, do you have a minute?”

“Auntie!” Frodo called. “Can I help with the mushrooms? ‘Cause I already got them out of the fridge.”

She sighed. No help for it. “Are you hungry, Detective?”

He smiled. “Famished.”

 _Yeah_ , Bella thought as she stepped back to let him in, _this could only end well_.

She led him through to the kitchen, and as they passed through the dining room, they found Frodo’s solution to the wet paint conundrum. She had meant wipe it up, but instead he grabbed a piece of paper and placed it next to the area. It read CAWSION WET PAYNT.

Bella clapped a hand to her mouth to keep her laughter in. Sometimes when Frodo misbehaved or attempted something serious she had to fight not to laugh when another reaction was more appropriate. He could be so adorably precocious sometimes.

Choking down her giggles, Bella went to find her wayward cousin. They got a new sheet of paper to learn how to spell ‘caution’ and ‘paint’ properly before they cleaned up the spill and tied on aprons. She shooed Thorin into a seat in the breakfast nook with a glass of wine, and helped Frodo onto his step-stool.

“Wait, Auntie, our hats!” Frodo exclaimed. “We’re not painters anymore.”

“Right you are, sweetheart.” She swapped their berets for the chef hats she had made just after he came to live here. Her sewing skills weren’t great so the hats were more lumpy than pleated, but Frodo loved them.

Frodo washed the mushrooms and pulled out the stems while she mixed cream cheese, egg yolks, and garlic together. After sautéing the mushrooms in butter, they stuffed the caps with the mixture and put them on toast points. Then she made quick work of steaming broccoli and shredding cheese, while Frodo watched the mushrooms brown in the broiler. Sauron had returned to investigate the smells, and was now clasped in Frodo's arms.

"See?" He told the cat. "These are mushrooms. I'll teach you to sniff them out in the woods so we can eat them everyday. Pigs do it all the time, but I like cats better."

Sauron purred.

She added sliced watermelon to the table that Thorin insisted on setting and soon they all fell into the meal.

“Oh, Mahal,” Thorin moaned. “These are amazing.”

“Family recipe," she said, popping a mushroom into her mouth. “All Bagginses are crazy about mushrooms.”

“You’ll have to give Dis the recipe for the broccoli. The boys won’t eat it and it drives her nuts, but they love cheese.”

“I’ll be sure to do that.” She stared at her plate, appetite suddenly gone. For a few minutes while they made dinner, she had forgotten all that had gone wrong between her and Thorin, that he hated her, that this was the first man, besides Gandalf, to be in her house since Gollum. For a few minutes, laughing with him and Frodo, life had been peaceful, it had been right.

Frodo leaned over and snatched the mushroom cap off her plate, jolting her out of her thoughts. Serious blue eyes met hers when she looked up. “Auntie, you know the rule.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” She scrounged up a smile. “If you let me keep my mushroom, I’ll make dessert.”

He considered this. “Figs and honey?”

“And cream,” she cajoled, holding out her hand.

“Alright,” he agreed and handed it back.

Bella kissed his head and answered Thorin’s unspoken question. “We agreed that dinner is a sacred time. No arguments or punishments or bad thoughts. Just a time to enjoy the fact that we have each other.”

“I like that,” he said with a soft smile.

 _I like you_ , she thought, _when you’re not being an ass_.

Once the dishes were done, Bella sent Frodo to collect his favorite animals and blankets for the movie.

“Can I- _may_ I- invite Sam?”

“Yes, you may.”

“And Merry? And Pippin?”

“Yes and yes. But don’t forget it’s a school night. We’re stopping the movie night at eight and we’ll finish it up tomorrow.”

He scampered off, leaving Bella and Thorin alone in the kitchen. He seemed in no hurry to discuss why he was here so she sliced up the figs, drizzled them with honey and cinnamon, and whipped up the cream. She had milk delivered each morning, and she kept the thick upper layer to make nice, heavy cream.

Cooking always soothed her, so she was feeling peaceful when Thorin finally spoke.

“I’m sorry, Bella.”

 

Bella fumbled with the honey pot in her hands at the declaration. Green eyes lightened almost to sea foam in shock. “I…umm…what?”

Thorin sighed. “I’m sorry about what I said on Saturday and again today. It crossed a line, several of them, and I broke my own rule about not saying things I don’t believe.”

She washed her hands with soap three times before she responded, biting her lip as she thought.

Thorin didn’t mind the pause. There was comfort in this cozy home, and every moment with Bella was like sipping from a cool spring on a hot day. Even when he was howling mad with her, somehow he still walked away feeling refreshed, centered. Both Dis and Dwalin had mentioned the same thing. There was just something about Bella.

“Are you saying this because you’re afraid I won’t help anymore?” she asked.

Thorin winced. He deserved that, he supposed. Expressing himself wasn’t something he was great at, but he owed it to her to try. “No. I don’t want you to do something you don’t wish to. And frankly, this is dangerous, and not the way I’d go about things. The law is there for a reason and I want Smaug to be put away for life, no hesitations or shifty evidence. However, the Chief is in charge for a reason, and it is time to try something new. So am I still pissed? Hell yes. Am I equally sorry that I hurt you? Hell yes.”

Bella nodded slowly. “Thank you for being honest. Just for the record, I was still going to do this even if you fired me.”

“Why? This isn’t your problem.”

It occurred to him that he had never seen Bella with her hair down. The curls reached all the way to the waistband of her jeans, another first he had appreciating since she first led him into the house (hey, he was angry but he was still male). Her hair down softened her, made her look younger, and added a new compassion to the hard earned wisdom in her eyes.

“Because I have learned that waiting for Life to right a wrong leads to nothing but bitter dreams, and that there are people in this world who take and take. If you don’t stand up to them somehow, before you know it, they’ve swallowed you’re whole,” she said.

What had happened to her to give her such insight? She spoke calmly, but there were deep emotions beneath her words.

“You’re right,” Thorin said after a minute. “I should have said this days ago, but thank you, Bella, for your help.”

She inclined her head.

“But this doesn’t mean—“

“That you’re not still pissed and spit on my general existence, yeah, I know.” But she smiled very slightly as she said it.

Thorin shook his head. “Not _on_ you. More like in your general direction.”

“Duly noted.” She picked up the plate of figs. “Are you staying for dessert?”

“There is one other thing I needed to talk to you about,” he said. “If you have the time.”

“Sure. Let me just get the kids settled,” she said as the doorbell rang. “I’ll meet you in the library if that works. It will be the quietest. Take two lefts out of that door.”

“Miss Bella! Miss Bella!” A chorus came from the front door. “Guess what time it is?”

Smiling, Bella called back, “Beanie Time!”

“YAY!”

Mahal, Thorin had been so wrong about her. It was obvious how much she loved these kids, and when she was with Frodo, she glowed. He wished he could blame his black tongue on sleep deprivation, but he knew that was a poor excuse. He had been raised to treat women better, and he had let his emotions get too close to the surface. Bella hadn’t really betrayed him, but she had come close enough that it brought up horrible memories of how his family had fractured.

He rubbed at the back of his neck as he headed to the library. Not an excuse, but he would try not to be so antagonistic toward her.

Books exploded from every available surface in the library. Floor to ceiling bookcases were double packed, tables crowded with novels, and stacks of poetry turned the floor into a maze. Cozy chairs sat around the fireplace with yet more books on the side tables.

Thorin wound his way through the books and built a fire. When he settled back into an armchair, he relaxed and dozed off before he finished stretching out his legs.

His dreams were the usual nonsense until a soft voice pierced the blackness. “Thorin…do you want…bed…guest room?”

“Sleep,” he muttered. Even in his dream he was exhausted.

“Yes, sleep is good.” The voice held hidden laughter. “Do you want to be more comfortable while you do it?”

Bella.

Smiling in welcome, Thorin pulled her into his arms. A distant part of his mind wondered at how realistic the dream was. Her skin was so soft and he could smell the paint mixing in with her clean scent.

As she thumped into his lap, her arms went to his shoulders to steady herself. “Thorin…are you awake?”

“Shh.” He wrapped a hand in her hair, reveling in the feel of the silky strands over his rough palm.

Bella touched his cheek. “Come on, let’s get you to bed.”

“Only if you’re there with me.” He tugged on her hair until she leaned in closer. When he felt her breath on his skin, he smiled in triumph and claimed her mouth.

He teased the seam of her lips with his tongue until they parted and he stole a taste of her. Bella’s hands crept around his neck and he grinned in triumph. He kissed her over and over, hot, dueling kisses until all her hesitation evaporated.

Fitting her more firmly into his arms, he stood and laid her on the floor, sending books flying, never once taking his mouth from hers. Her taste was addicting and he knew he would be forever haunted by it. A lifetime of kissing her wouldn’t be enough. His hands slipped beneath the hem of her shirt.

Bella shivered and arched into his touch. “Thorin…we should stop. You’re not thinking clearly.”

He growled at her. Thorin might not have Bella in real life, but damn it, he was going to have her in his dream. He ripped off her shirt and threw it aside before bending to kiss her again. Bella resisted for a moment before he nibbled his way to her neck and found the spot that always made her moan.

“Thorin…”

Unable to stand it any longer, he settled between her thighs and ground against her. She gasped, legs coming around his hips. “Thorin!”

Wanting to see her eyes go bright with pleasure, Thorin forced his eyelids open and pressed down again.

Bella was a vision. Hair splayed around her like living fire, she threw her head back, that full mouth falling open in a whimper. She wore a lacy bra he wanted to tear away to finally see her. One hand dropped to the button of her jeans while the other reached for her bra when reality hit.

This wasn’t a dream.

Reveling in his touch, Bella was splayed beneath him. He was two seconds from taking her. And even awake, he didn’t want to stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo! I'm on a roll this week. Many thanks to BlueLights for correcting the French! 
> 
> So, what do you think of Thorin's apologies?


	8. An Invitation Arrives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bella and Thorin have dessert and a conversation

There was a three second pause as Thorin woke up enough to process the situation before either of them moved. Bella fought to clear her mind of the lust that swamped her. The reasons that this was a horrible idea marched in her thoughts, but they mattered little against the heat in his gaze.

Since he had apologized, her anger and hurt with him had abated somewhat, but she half expected him to rail at her for seducing him. He might be sorry for what he said, but had his opinion of her changed?

This was so unfair! How could he make her come apart with one touch? They had only known each other for a week, and they had spent half of that yelling at each other!

“Bella…” Thorin draped himself across her and nipped at her lips. “Tell me to get up and walk away.”

“Kiss me,” she whispered even though she knew it was a bad idea, a horrible idea, an invade Russia in winter kind of idea.

He groaned. “Not helping, darling.”

“Fine.” She took a deep breath, which helped not at all as she inhaled his intoxicating scent. Seriously, was his cologne bottled by incubi? “Sit up?”

“If you insist.” He sat up, but brought her with him, keeping her flush against him. “Mahal, you feel so good. How the hell do you get so soft?”

“Blood of virgins,” she murmured, intoxicated by the feel of him.

Thorin chuckled and kissed her again, a deep, slow kiss that had her melting all over again. “Right…we should…um…stop.”

Bella fumbled her way upright and took several deep breaths. “I think I’ll have to add in wardrobe to my budget estimation. I’ll be out of shirts soon.”

The fire blazed merrily next to Thorin, the last scraps of her flannel shirt turning to embers.

Raking a hand over his face, Thorin sighed. “I’ll buy you a new one. And I can’t apologize because the view is much improved no matter how cute that shirt was.”

Bella flushed from her head to her toes.

He grinned and came to his feet with natural power. “Easy mark, Miss Baggins.”

She had to leave the room in self-preservation after that. If she stayed any longer, she’d be vying with Napoleon for the number one slot of poor decision making.

When she returned fully dressed, Thorin had eaten all but one fig, looking guilty at his lack of self-control. “Those are amazing.”

“They are.” Bella bit her lip, not sure of what to say.

“Bella, I know things aren’t…aren’t easy between us, but I want you to know I don’t regret this. You’re an amazing and sexy woman. I just happen to disagree with some of your choices in life. Please know I never meant to belittle you or disrespect you. My temper just sometimes gets the better of me. If I ever do that again, take a leaf out of Dwalin’s book and deck me,” he said, holding her gaze steadily.

She gathered up her hurt and let it go with her next exhale. Holding onto it now would be petty and shortsighted. There was no doubt in her mind he meant every word of that apology. Rising onto her toes, Bella kissed his cheek. “Easy is overrated.”

He laughed at that and held her close for a beat. “Yes, it is.” Thorin sobered suddenly. “I like you, Bella, but I meant what I said about not agreeing with your choices. At the moment, I can’t promise anything related to there being an ‘us’.”

That hurt, more than she was expecting, but Bella could hardly blame him. “I know. All I ask is that you’re honest with me, even when you’re upset. I meant what I said as well. I will always be open to that coffee date, but I won’t sit around and pine. If you aren’t wanting to promise anything right now, then I won’t either.”

“That’s fair,” he said after a moment.

“Glad we cleared that up then. I’m going to check on the kids and then we can talk about your other thing?”

Turns out Bella should have ended the night while they were ahead.

“Absolutely not,” she spat after Thorin voiced his idea. “No way.”

“Why not?”

“It would take all week for me to recite every way it could go wrong. I work alone.” She crossed her arms.

He raised an eyebrow. “Bully for you.”

“You don’t understand. Many of the ways I enter and leave are viable only for one person, a small person.”

“I can fold myself up.”

She snorted. “Thorin, even if you were Harry Houdini, you are not that small by any stretch of the imagination. Your shoulders are wider than the Anduin.”

Thorin blinked.

“Not that I’m complaining, mind. My ovaries thank you. At any rate, there’s no way you can come with me.”

His struggle against a smile was mostly successful. “Your ovaries thank me?”

“See, this is why I don’t usually talk to people. Focus, Thorin.”

“I am focusing. I have a solution for you.”

“If it’s not ‘go for it alone’, I don’t want to hear it.”

“Too bad, here it is: Change your plan,” he said.

“Wow. You must have put a lot of thought into that. It had so many points and strategic contingencies.” She rolled her eyes. “No.”

“Bella, either you let me come with you or I pull the plug.”

“I’m sorry, do you remember, oh about five minutes before you ripped my shirt off, when I said that I would do this with or without your approval?”

“I was hoping you’d see sense in the intervening period. Apparently I overestimated you.”

She closed her eyes and counted to ten. Normally she had no problem staying rational when she was upset. It was a defensive mechanism for dealing with snotty kids. Lowering her voice, she tried again. “Why do you want to come with me?”

“Because it’s too dangerous for you to go alone. You need someone to watch your back. Smaug can’t be trusted,” he said.

“And neither can I?” She guessed.

Thorin rubbed at the back of his neck. “That’s not what I meant. Bella, I know you well enough by now to realize you’d never side with Smaug. Please, let me come. I hate the thought of you confronting him or any of his goons alone.”

Well, that was something, she supposed. “How about a compromise?”

“I don’t do compromises.”

Geez, and they say women are the unreasonable ones. There was only one way around this. “Fine. I’ll need a few days to figure something out for both of us.”

Thorin held her gaze for a long moment and Bella fought not to squirm. “I mean it, Bella. We do this together.”

“Of course.” There was a lot of wiggle room in that.

“We go in together, we leave together.”

“I think you’re going to hit the world record for using the word ‘together’ so many times in a one-minute period.”

One eyebrow arched. “Is that a yes?”

“Goodness grief. Yes, we’ll both be there when I sneak into the building.” Sort of.

“I swear to Mahal, Bella, that if you don’t invite me along, I will lock you up.”

“Gee, what do you do to the women who don’t agree with you?”

It took a while, but he finally became convinced, and left after saying goodbye to Frodo. Bella leaned against the door as it closed after him. The cool wood eased the extraordinary heat of her skin, but did nothing to cure her of her nerves.

Despite a few bumps, the evening had gone better than she could have hoped. At least Thorin wasn’t actively working against her now.

 _He likes you_ , a small, hopeful voice spoke up in her mind. _He laughed with you, kissed you_.

Bella shook her head firmly. Now was not the time for hoping. Now was the time for planning.

Because if she didn’t come up with a great plan to assail the impenetrable Ft. Ancalagon, she and Thorin would be arguing about this for all eternity in the afterlife.

 

A note appeared on Thorin’s desk two days after his dinner with Bella. It was thick vellum with the words written in calligraphy ink.

_Thorin Durinson,_  
_You are cordially invited to pick me up at 7 pm on this night. Dress in black, but pack a tux. Please do us the courtesy of an RSVP and the purchasing of working ears for listening purposes before the evening’s festivities._

_We look forward to your presence._

“Smart ass,” he muttered with a slight smile.


	9. Meet Roxane and Cyrano

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bella sets some boundaries, and they attempt to enter Ft. Ancalagon in search of information on the Arkenstone.

At precisely 7:07 pm, Thorin knocked on Bella’s door. She answered and directed him into a seat in the living room. 

“Ready?” he asked, eyeing her black cargo pants and sweater. 

“Yes.” She took a deep breath and met his gaze. Time to make a few things clear. “I want your word that tonight you’ll do exactly what I say, when I say it. No hesitations or complaints about the law or arguments. I know what I’m doing and if you question me, it could cost one of us our freedom or our lives.” 

Mr. My Way or the Highway set his jaw. 

Bella resisted the urge to throw up her hands. “The only reason you are coming tonight is out of professional courtesy. You might have accepted the realities of my situation, but you don’t trust me. I’m letting you come along because I realize how vital the Arkenstone is to your family and because I want you to understand that for us to have any chance against Smaug, you will have to trust me.” 

“This isn’t about trust. It’s about protection and someone having your back.” 

“No, it’s not. Not entirely.” she said gently though her tone remained unyielding. “If I were anyone else, you wouldn’t be inserting yourself into the mission. Do you guard Dori when he interviews volatile witnesses for his cases, or insist Nori take a shadow when he goes undercover with criminals?” 

“That’s not the same,” he snapped. 

“It is. I’ve cut you a lot of slack because I like you and your family, and because I know the stakes, but it ends here. Either you give me your word that you will follow my lead no matter what happens, that you trust me to do the job you hired me to do, or I walk. I’ll give you all I know and not have another thing to do with this.” 

“You said the other day you’d do this no matter what I said.” 

She shrugged. “That was before you insisted on coming with me. I’m not going to risk my cousin’s future and happiness just because you have no sense of boundaries. Treat this like a partnership, me like a fellow professional, or walk out that door. The choice is yours.” 

His jaw clenched several times, blue gaze going icy. “I don’t enjoy ultimatums or being told what to do.” 

“How terrible for you,” she said dryly. 

Thorin glared. 

Bella let the silence grow, minute after minute, before she finally gave in to the inevitable. “Very well. I will call Gandalf and tell him to find some other way. Enjoy your evening, Detective.” 

Well, she had tried. No one could fault her for that. But she refused to let him walk all over her. She was good at what she did, the best, and Bella would not let anyone take away the belief she had in herself. 

The knowledge that Thorin was so pigheaded about this was over concern for his family and not out of cruelty or hatred kept her from taking it personally. Not that it changed her belief at all. If she didn’t stand up to Thorin, to anyone who tried to limit her choices in life, then she would become a shadow of herself and lose all the independence she fought and bled for. 

“Wait.” He caught her elbow and tugged her back to the seat. “You have my word.” 

Shock widened her eyes before she collected herself. Professional. Cool and calm. This was just another job. “Very well. Let’s get going. Have you ever been rock climbing?” 

 

 

“A little farther...” Bella whispered into her radio. “A little…yes! Stop!” 

The line around her waist went taut. Though she still maintained going in alone had fewer risks, at times like these Thorin’s strength really came in handy. Dangling off a twenty-three story building with a rope tied to a handy pipe didn’t give her as much confidence as when Thorin held the other end. 

She flexed her knees and came to a stop on the side of Ft. Ancalagon’s fifteenth floor. Anchoring herself to the terracotta pillar at the edge of the bank of windows with a climbing clip, Bella peered into the window. She had chosen this level because it was a middle one. All the lower levels that the security company thought were easy targets for thieves were alarmed and patrolled. Even the tiny bathroom windows too small for a rat were rigged to alarms. So were the top levels where a thief could repel down a few stories and sneak through. But the middle five or so that would need a ridiculously long rope to reach from the roof were less heavily warded along the windows. 

Swinging her backpack around to her front, Bella tried very hard not to think about how high up she was. Several species of birds didn’t fly this far off the ground. It wasn’t that she had a fear of heights, just a fear of plummeting multiple stories to her next job as a sidewalk pancake. 

Out of the bag, she pulled a thin wire and a wad of sandpaper. Getting in would be simple enough if she didn’t mind leaving a mark—cut out a section of glass and slip through—but Bella didn’t want anyone knowing a pair of intruders had been here tonight, and there was no way the people who worked on this business floor would miss a sizeable chuck in their window. It was damn chilly this high up. 

So she had to try out a new technique her mentor, Bofur, was sure wouldn’t work. The trick to it was shaving down the glass enough that she could make a pinprick hole for her wire without shattering the glass or compromising the integrity of the whole pane. If this window was made of tempered glass, this was about to go very, very wrong. 

Fitting the wire between her teeth, Bella grabbed a bottle of water from the bag, and set to work. Glass workers used belt sanders to smooth out rough edges on panes of cut glass, and one had told her that the trick was to go slow and keep the glass cool. If it heated up, things would get dicey in a hurry. 

Since lugging a belt sander off the side of a building was laughable in its ludicrousness, Bella had gone to Bofur’s brother, Bifur, for help. Though the man rarely spoke, and when he did, it was never in a language she recognized, he was a whiz at gadgets and inventions. She joked that he was Q to her Bond, and while she wasn’t positive that he got the reference, he always smiled. 

This time he had given her sandpaper that Bofur warned would take the skin off her hand if she so much as brushed against it. The chemicals and roughage that Bifur had put on it would eat through the glass, but she had to keep it cool and lubricated. 

“Time?” she whispered. 

“Seven forty-three,” Thorin reported. 

Excellent. They had made good time up here from the neighboring building. 

Pouring water on a small section of the window, Bella carefully peeled off a piece of sandpaper and gave a cautious rub. When she felt it catch on the glass and saw glass particles rain onto her shoes, Bella couldn’t prevent a grin around the wire. 

Adrenaline spiked, and she settled into the thrill of the job. “Rock and roll, baby.” 

“I thought that was my line,” Thorin sounded amused. 

“You missed your cue.” She rubbed at the glass, carving it down and down until there was a small divot in the pane. Testing the center of the dip with a fingernail, she gave it one more rinse, and then shoved the water and paper back into her bag. 

A centimeter at a time, Bella popped the wire into the thinnest part of the glass and fed it through the window. The metal screeched along the glass, but it went in steadily, the tip beginning to dip down as more and more went through. When she had only a foot left on the outside, Bella moved her grip up so that her palm rested against the glass and she could manipulate the wire. 

This was the other reason she had chosen this floor. For safety reasons as this floor was divided up into offices, there were two exits aside from the elevators: the stairs, and a steel door that opened onto a minuscule balcony. Apparently the designers of this building had only wanted to save one person per floor in case of fire or something. There was an emergency release catch for the door next to it, if Bella could reach it with her wire. 

It was only two feet away, but the wire was very flexible because it was so thin. Bella wiggled it up and down until it caught on the top of the switch. Now came the ultimate question of whether or not the wire was heavy enough to pull it down. With no illumination from inside the building, she had to squint to see her target. One of these days she was going to have to bring her glasses on a job. 

Chewing on her lower lip, Bella tugged on the wire and pressed the top piece against the wall, forming a hook. With the hook wobbling over the top of the switch, she jabbed down. The hook slid to the side. 

Argh! She repositioned and tried again. Slipped to the other side. 

Deep breaths eased her frustration. She had time. No need to rush. Steady hands re-positioned the wire, and she felt it catch. “Alright, Thorin. Get ready.” 

“Yes ma’am.” 

With a sharp tug, Bella flipped the switch and hear the soft click of the door opening. “Now!” 

The rope bit sharply into her waist as Thorin pulled up, swinging her around the balcony. She swung past it, too much momentum, and reached out wildly. Her hands caught the edge of the door as it began to swing closed. “Stop!” 

Suspended sideways with her fingers going numb, Bella hurriedly told Thorin to lower her down so her feet touched the ledge. Wedging one foot in the door, she shook feeling back into her fingers and unhooked her harness. “Alright. I’m free. Come down, please.” 

Bella rubbed her hands up and down her arms, shivering in the sharp wind that whipped past the building as she waited for Thorin. Funny how the cold hadn’t bothered her when she was working. Now that she had too much time to imagine Thorin free climbing down the face of the building, she couldn’t get warm. 

Sooner than she had anticipated, however, Thorin dropped down next to her and flashed a wild grin. “Not as bad as some of the things we did as Rangers.” 

Deciding her heart really couldn’t take knowing, Bella sealed her lips over the question, and led him inside. She collected the wire and plugged up the hole in the glass with clear putty Bifur had lent her. Putting her bag on a desk in the open office, she pulled out Thorin’s tux and handed it to him. “Change please. We have five minutes until the band starts at the gala downstairs. The owner of this building, the rapper King Angmar, is hosting quite the event and it wouldn’t do to show up late.” 

Not looking to see if he hesitated, she grabbed her outfit for the rest of the night and began to strip. There was no time for modesty, and no real need for it with only starlight illuminating the room. 

As she shucked off her shoes and wriggled out of her pants, Bella glanced aside. Thorin stared at her as though she had grown a second head. “What?” 

“You rob buildings in a thong?” 

Bella swallowed a laugh. “Not always.” 

“Then why tonight?” He finally started stripping. 

“Because my dress is a little on the tight side. A VPL will stand out in this crowd, believe me. The women here tonight are the ice princess, Paris fashion only type of women.” Unable to resist getting back at him for his rather domineering attitude toward her, Bella turned her back on him and bent over to grab the necessary tools from her pant pockets. 

A strangled sound came from behind her. 

Smirking, Bella straightened and pulled the dress over her head. She had to shimmy her hips to get the tight black sheath all the way down, but soon she was dressed and twisting her hair up into a simple knot. As she swapped her climbing shoes for heels, she saw Thorin had finally put his eyes back in his head and was fighting with his bow tie. 

“Here.” She swatted his hands away. “I used to do this for my father. Ma was terrible with knots unless they were on a chicken about to go in the oven.” 

Thorin chuckled. “Nothing wrong with that. Now, explain to me why we didn’t just forge an invitation to the party and save you frostbite.” 

“Because I haven’t a clue what the invites look like. No one did until eight a.m. this morning. It’s a very exclusive party, and any outsiders would be immediately marked at the door. However, since we will be talking to people only once we are already on the dance floor, it will be automatically assumed we were invited and are very powerful people.” She stepped back. “There. Now, if anyone asks, your name is Cyrano and I am Roxane. Put in these contacts, please. Your eyes are too distinctive.” 

“Are you sure I shouldn’t add a fake nose?” he asked, taking the lens case. 

“Damn,” she muttered. He really was perfect. Handsome, funny, sexy as hell, and he got her literary references. 

Thorin gave her a smirk as if to say he knew exactly what she was thinking and went in search of a mirror to put in the contacts. 

While he was gone, Bella transferred her tools to a large, brand name purse. She had put on makeup at the house, so she was ready to go once she folded up the backpack and their clothing and shoved it into the purse. All that was left was the final touch of two champagne flutes, one with a lipstick stain she quickly transferred to the crystal. 

“Ready?” Thorin returned. 

“Ready.” She handed him a flute and reached up to muss up his hair and then hers. “After you, sweetheart. Be sure to take the elevator.” 

“We could get into a lot of trouble in the elevator, darling,” he said, slinging an arm around her waist, fingers drifting toward the curve of her ass. 

She winked at him. “I’m counting on it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I am well aware that this is not a plausible method of entry for most buildings. But I figure with a bit of Bifur's cleverness, it could work. 
> 
> As always, let me know what you think. Anyone else a fan of Rostand?


	10. Call Girls Pack Quite the Punch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin and Bella crash a party in search of answers

Once in the elevator, Bella leaned lazily against the wall, humming to herself and twirling the flute. She looked for all the world as though she were jet setting billionaire’s daughter, without a care for anyone but herself. Thorin sometimes wondered if he and his siblings would have ended up as a stereotype if Smaug hadn’t come into the picture. He’d like to think not.

He and Frerin had joined the military, and Dis had worked as a teacher until she met Vili, her late husband. Mother had been very determined that they grow up with a sense of grounding and duty.

It had been a long time since he had felt centered. Any more it was simply desperation and revenge that drove him. Years passed and he dreaded waking up, finding joy only in flashes, and he hardly noticed.

How had he let that happen?

It was only recently that he had started to feel deeply again. In fact…Thorin frowned. It had really happened when Bella told him who she was.

No, that wasn’t true. He had laughed like he hadn’t in years when she came to the house.

Thorin shot a glance at Bella. It was _her_ , wasn’t it?

She smiled, but her gaze was sharp and wary.

He could hardly blame her for that. Thorin had handled none of this well.

“When I asked why you didn’t steal an invitation, I didn’t mean it as a criticism, just curiosity,” he offered. An explanation seemed the least he could do after forcing his way into this.

Bella cocked her head. “Alright.”

They returned to silence, but for once it held no comfort for Thorin. He burned with curiosity about the woman next to him.

“Why do you do this? How did you get into this?” he blurted out.

A slow blink. “Do you really want to know?”

“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t.”

She shook her head. ‘Hell of a time to ask.”

“I’ve never had good timing.” He shrugged.

For some reason that made her laugh. “Fair enough. Ask me tomorrow and I’ll answer.”

Her timing, it turned out was perfect. The elevator slid smoothly to a stop and suddenly Thorin had Bella in his arms, dragging his head down for a kiss. He responded, eager to savor Bella’s sweet taste again.

This might be a charade for their unwitting hosts, but Thorin was going to take advantage of it until he could sort through the feelings he usually denied.

Someone cleared their throat behind them.

Growling deep in his throat, Thorin didn’t release her until he finished the kiss. When he did raise his head, he tossed the intruder an easy grin through he’d rather have punched him in the face for ogling Bella. “Sorry, mate. Hope we aren’t holding you up.”

“Nonsense. Take all the time you need,” the man said with a lecherous grin aimed at Bella.

She tossed him a wink and tugged Thorin from the elevator. As soon as they were out of sight, she shivered, but never lost her smile. “Ew, ew, ew.”

He wrapped an arm around her waist. “Give me the sign and I’ll punch his lights out.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Bella glanced around the hallway before she spoke quickly and quietly. “We need to mingle for a while. King Angmar will give a speech at nine. While everyone is distracted, I’m going to slip away. You need to stay here and make sure nobody notices me gone. Make excuses if anyone asks. I’ll be quick.”

“What are you looking for?” He hated the idea of her going off alone, but if both of them disappeared, it would raise eyebrows.

“Any information on where the Arkenstone is. Word on the street is, Smaug keeps most of his records here.”

“I thought the Arkenstone _was_ here.”

Bella grimaced. “No offense, but that’s only the belief of the cops. Hobbits believe it to be in Erebor or in his personal horde. The problem is, if I’m not one hundred percent sure of which one before I sneak in, it will alert Smaug if I’m wrong.”

Shit. He ran a hand over his face. Bella had found out more in a week than Thorin had in ten years. Efficiency like that was scary in the best possible way. “Alright. But I’m not very good at small talk.”

“Then look wrapped up in me and I’ll do the talking.”

That, he could do.

With a tug, he pulled her close for a deep kiss. He pushed a hand into her hair, sending pins flying, to wrap the silky curls around his fist to tilt her head just where he wanted it.

Bella stayed calm and collected for a few seconds, but Thorin wasn’t having any of it. Nips to her bottom lip, the sting soothed by the tip of his tongue, made her gasp, and he thrust his tongue inside. The sensation of Bella exploded across his senses as she melted against him and met his tongue hungrily with her own.

When he finally let her go, her lips were swollen and her eyes were glazed. Thorin had no doubt the same look was reflected in his own face. With her hair down and her nipples beaded against the silk of her dress, she was unrepentant in her sensuality. A Siren to make all his dreams come true.

It took all of his self-control not to pull her back into his arms.

Bella smiled suddenly and he couldn’t help stealing one more kiss. “You should be outlawed for kisses like that.”

That made him laugh. “Funny, I thought the same thing.”

A soft sigh and an expression he couldn’t interpret flickered across Bella’s face. Another smile banished it, but she pulled back. “Right. Shall we?”

 

The ballroom decorations made it feel as though they had arrived in the shadow world. All deep grays and silver. Pleated cloth covered the walls and rippled in the lazy breeze from overhead fans. The stage was coated in silver glitter, the lights that shone on it reflecting so brightly it hurt to look at it.

An hour of socialization should have crept by. No matter how good of an actress she was, Bella was fundamentally an introvert. She could hide it well, talk to people, laugh, blend in, but after an hour surrounded by strangers, she was usually drained.

But tonight, despite the press of nerves, she wasn’t too uncomfortable. That, she knew, was all due to Thorin’s presence. True to his word, he appeared wrapped up in her, staring at her as though he wanted to carry her off and have her all to himself. Just when she felt her skin get tight from the pressure of foreign eyes, he would pull her close, slip a hand up to the base of her neck to give her an intimate massage.

His apparent devotion made them strangely popular. Beautiful women, icy and eerie in their perfection, paraded past, trying to rip him from her. Men paid way more attention to her than usual, wondering what it was that made her so engrossing.

Oddly enough, the attention aided their cause. No one questioned their right to be here. They mentioned past events, their minds inserting Bella and Thorin into the memories, and recalled how wonderful it was that they were still together. The distraction of the conversations also allowed Bella to slip the champagne flutes back into her purse when she realized the ones at the party were a different cut of crystal.

“Not much longer now,” Thorin murmured, nodding at the stage where audio tech people were beginning to gather.

“Excellent. It should be quite the speech,” she replied. “I just hope I don’t have to use the restroom in the middle of it.”

Their current conversation partner, one Gorgol, chuckled. “It would be worth the wait, sweet one.”

It took all of her discipline to smile and not vomit. There was something about this man, short and unassuming, that made her stomach roll. He had an air that told her instincts he would be the type to kill a woman, cut her up, and then remark about the artistic effect of using her intestines as a bow tie.

And calling her sweet one, made it seem like he was just waiting to eat her. See how sweet her flesh really was.

Ew. Ew. Ew.

Deep drum beats ended conversation in the hall. The lights went out except for those on the stage. Gorgol beamed. “I wish to find a closer spot. Find me after, Cyrano, to discuss that business opportunity.”

“It would be my pleasure.” Thorin traded grips with the man, and he walked away.

Bella leaned closer to Thorin, turning her nose into his soft shirt to breathe in the clean, spicy scent of his aftershave to purge the taint of Gorgol from her. For a moment she didn’t care why Thorin was here, she was just grateful he was.

She hardly knew what to make of him anymore. Thorin went from yelling at her a few days ago, to pulling her into kisses at every opportunity. Why did he suddenly want to know her motivations for doing this job? Had he changed his mind about her? But the look in his eyes when he looked at her…he looked almost tormented.

She had no idea what to do. But now was not the time to consider her options. Bella had a job to do, and one misstep or lapse in concentration, and they would be floating in a canoe with no paddle up a very smelly river.

Electronic music layered with eerie violin screeches assaulted their ears, and a figure appeared on the stage. When the lights stayed off, Bella squeezed Thorin’s hand. Time to earn her living.

He pressed a kiss to the side of her neck, making her bite back a moan. “Be safe, darling.”

That sounded sincere. What did _that_ mean?

She took a deep breath and slipped away.

Thankful for her freakishly good night vision, Bella took off her heels and navigated the packed room without bumping any elbows. She hadn’t worn perfume today so she wouldn’t leave a trace as she ghosted out of the room.

Once she reached the lit hallway, she paused a moment to find her bearings and turned decisively right. The labyrinth of corridors led her to the private elevator. This elevator was accessible only from the first floor and required an iris scan to open it.

Or, in Bella’s case, a clever tool that would bypass it. She had seen movies were people cut out eyes of their targets and held up an eyeball to the scanner or wore specialty contacts calibrated to trick the scanners. A little unnecessary and bloody in her mind.

All she was going to do was trick the elevator into thinking it was on the way down and so didn’t need a scan to open.

Reaching into her bag, she pulled out a small box full of wires and gloves to slip on. Two prongs jutted from the base of the box and fit into the small slit between the panels of the scanner. After measuring the scanner and placing the box three inches from the left side, she wiggled it into place and flipped a switch on top.

Inside, a current flickered through the mess of wires and then shot out to arc between the two prongs. It had taken more than one shock to create this box, but Bella persevered after scoping out a business mogul’s ridiculously opulent mansion to steal diamond earrings he had taken from his mother. It shorted out the elevator’s call system that was attached to the scanner, and made it reset from the top down.

Being both a Hobbit and a thief, Bella had to be a jack of all trades. She could rewire most things, hotwire a range of cars, and do makeup better than most dance moms. It appealed to the scholar in her. There was always something new to learn.

A ding announced the box, which she called a _mathom_ , had done its job. She snatched it off the scanner and stepped into the elevator. Using her elbow to touch the top floor option, she had a few seconds to rearrange her purse for the next obstacle and put back on her shoes.

There were no guards at the top level. Apparently, Smaug didn’t think anyone could get past the lower level security. However, there was a ten-digit lock on his office door that she needed to outsmart.

The elevator spat her out in a tastefully appointed suite with a living room, three conference rooms, and a full service kitchen. To her left was the enormous office with a commanding view of the city.

White keys with black numbers dominated the face of the golden lock the size of her fist. As she knelt before it, she saw that the five, seven, four, three and one buttons were worn away more than the other numbers. This lock had a three try failure mechanism. If she missed it three times in a row, she would have to break down the door.

Alright. She could do this. Bella cracked her knuckles and reached into her purse again.

One of the reasons the cops had been so unlucky in tracking Bella down was because of her low-tech approach to robberies. There were no pricey equipment purchases to trace, no cyber footprints. Oh, sure, she had one or two nifty gizmos, but either Bifur made them for her, or she crafted them herself. She never left any fingerprints and she faded quickly from people’s memories.

In this case, she relied on her research. Though most people knew they should choose passwords that were random, ninety-nine percent of the population went with combinations they could remember because they meant something. As Smaug was a narcissistic jerk, she had a feeling he thought he was above random trivialities and picked something that made him feel more self-important.

So she spent hours researching every inch of his life, from talking to people close to him, hacking into records, reading interviews. Now she knew Smaug better than she knew herself. He wasn’t a complicated man. He was driven by competition, greed, and the need to be the best. He had no need for relationships beyond what people could give him, and he had no mercy. The only soft piece about him was the charm he could turn on to get what he wanted.

The file she flipped open was thick, all her research on Smaug. It took her a moment to find the correct page, but there it was: the amount of money Erebor had been worth when he stole it from the Durinsons, $5,754,137, 351.

The lock opened without a sound, and Bella hurriedly pushed it open. She put the file away and pulled out her camera. Any evidence she found now wouldn’t be admissible in court, but she’d let her godfather worry about that.

Glancing at the timer she had started when she left the ballroom, Bella headed straight for the filing cabinet behind the desk. Information about the Arkenstone would likely be in the desk, but information about Erebor, years old, needn’t be kept so close.

Sure enough she hit gold in the third drawer from the bottom. Smaug referred to the company’s holding as _My Horde_ , and there were three folders full labeled thusly. She flipped through them quickly, videoing the whole thing. They could slow down the movie later and take it frame by frame. Those then went back in the cabinet, replaced exactly, and she turned to the desk.

Three minutes until she needed to be back at Thorin’s side.

The first two drawers held nothing of interest, but she videoed it anyway. Seconds ticked by and still there was no sign of the Arkenstone’s location. She had almost given up hope on her brilliant plan, almost resigned to breaking into both Erebor and Smaug’s house, but then she found it.

A handwritten note was tucked into Smaug’s personal notebook. The pages were written in a language or a code she couldn’t understand, but the note had only numbers. Three of them. Three for the code to the Anvil-Strength Safe, the only kind she actually regarded as unbreakable, that was in the basement of Erebor. His mansion didn’t have a safe like that.

Just to be sure, she flipped the note over and saw the trademark anvil, hammer, and three stars that was the Anvil-Strength logo. Incidentally, the founder of Erebor, Durin, had started the metallurgical company and, legend had it, designed the safe himself.

Well, at least she had an answer.

And no way forward. That safe was impossible to crack.

Bella shook her head. Impossible was just a word. First she had to get into Erebor. Then she could worry about the safe.

After she double checked the video to make certain nothing was out of place, she hightailed it back to the elevator and punched the first floor.

This was the nervy part. The elevator doors would open and she had no idea if the coast was clear or not. Well, she had pretended to be a call girl before to get out of sticky situations, she could do it again if she had to.

The doors opened and, her thoughts had cursed her, three men blinked in surprise as she stepped out. They were all tall, burly, and ripped. Their biceps were the size of her head.

Crap.

The smile that flickered across her face was deep and sensual. She cocked her head, blinked slowly. “Hello, gentlemen. Did the big man call you to escort me out? How very chivalrous of him.”

The men exchanged a look. “Err…who be you, little one?”

“I was your boss’s company for the evening, but he was called away on business. So I have to leave.” She pouted.

The man on the left seemed a little brighter than the others. He returned her smile. “Maybe we could keep you company instead.”

“Honey, I wish you could, but I don’t think you can afford me.”

“We…uh…we have saving bonds!” another one said eagerly.

Bella tried not to laugh. “Sorry. Cash only.”

She was halfway down the hallway before they moved. With blinding speed, they rushed her and pinned her to the wall, one thick hand spanning her whole throat.

“I don’t think you understand,” the first man growled. “We don’t pay for things we want. We take.”

Panic threatened to swamp her thoughts, but she ruthlessly pushed it aside. Now was not the time to lose it. She had no air to respond, so she went the second option.

Lashing out with her foot, she faked toward the man’s groin and then slammed the heel into his thigh.

A bellow shook the building as he tossed her down the wall. The floor smacked into her back, knocking the breath from her, but she scrambled to her feet. She swung her bag as another man reached for her and felt a bone crack.

Bella raced away, not daring to look back as she took turn after turn. She was relying on her memory to get her back to the ballroom. The men took a minute to follow, but she heard them thudding down the marble hallways behind her.

The lights were still out, blaring rap music disguising her entry into the party. She wound through the people staring up at the stage, and nearly knocked Thorin over with her relief at finding him.

“Whoa! Everything alright, darling?” He caught her close.

“Fine. Just stumbled a bit in my heels. I have a bit of a headache, I’m afraid. Do you mind if we leave a bit early?”

“Of course not. Let’s get you home. I don’t want it blowing up into a migraine.” He rubbed her back comfortingly and made their excuses to those around them.

She hid her face from the dancing lights as King Angmar rapped on stage, latching onto the migraine excuse. But she did pay attention to the lyrics, senses straining to see if her new friends were following.

“I know,” Thorin said grimly as they eased out of the ballroom. “All the songs are about overthrowing our government and going back to the good ole days. He talks of violence and fear as if those are good tools to govern.”

“He’s allied with the Shadow Party. He must be. Why else would he reference the Gladden Fields?” she whispered. “And if he’s letting this happen in his ballroom, Smaug must be as well.”

“That’s not much of a shock.” He glanced down at her. “What happened to your throat?”

“Nothing I couldn’t handle, but if we could walk just a little faster…”

Thorin’s face hardened, but he asked only, “you’re not hurt?”

“I’m fine. Some men just don’t believe ‘no’ is a word that applies to them.” And wasn’t that a lesson she had learned too well in her life.

The valet offered to get their car, but Thorin declined easily, saying that the fresh air would do her some good. She tried to remain relaxed, playing the sick wife card well, but she couldn’t disguise the flinch when the alarm went off.

Damn it! They had almost made it.

Shutters rolled down over the doors as the alarm grew louder. The valet reached for a gun. She knew the security measures of this place, had studied them thoroughly. If they didn't get out now, they were going to leave next in a body bag.

Bella groaned. “Oh, I really didn’t want to have to do this.”

Thorin reached for her to pull her to the floor and away from the gun, but Bella pushed him forward. Off balance, he stumbled forward and fell out of the door before it closed behind him, the metal shutters sealing her off from a similar escape.

“Go!” she yelled at him. “I’ll see you soon! GO!”

Then she turned tail and ran, back down the hallway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, that took me longer than I thought to write. I blame the Olympics.


	11. Plan C

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bella has to enact Plan B and Plan C to see if she can get out alive.

_Alright. Don’t panic. Don’t panic. It’s just a guy with a gun and three very large, very mad men after you._

_Not a problem. It’s not like they could kill you in about fifteen different ways._

_Don’t panic._

Bella raced through the building, her heels clicking away madly on the marble. A quick glance behind told her the valet chased her still, but he hadn’t taken a shot yet.

Excellent.

She skidded around the next corner and stopped. One hand in her bag, she steadied herself against the wall with the other. Her hand skimmed the box, the flutes, clothes, shoes, and her makeup case. “Come on, come on. Aha!”

Teasing out the stopper as she pulled a bottle from the bag, she doused the floor with its contents. She made sure to cover the width of the hallway and at least halfway down the length. Once the liquid hit the marble, it spread evenly, so one bottle went a long way.

Since the valet had a gun, Bella wasn’t going to stick around and see the results. His screams of frustration that came from behind her were answer enough. It would take him several minutes to work his way out of the sticky patch that extended farther than he thought. First shoes, then socks, then feet would get stuck.

Hopefully he didn’t try to use brute force to get free. He’d lose many a layer of skin if he tried anything other than acetone.

But when he fired in the air in frustration, Bella didn’t feel much sympathy for him.

Two corridors later, she slowed long enough to catch her breath. With fingerprints on her neck and the valet able to supply a description, she couldn’t just change clothes and rejoin the party. She didn’t have a wig or another party dress.

What she needed was to force the party outside and blend in, her appearance just different enough that she escaped notice long enough to clear out.

Thank goodness for backup plans.

Bella found what she was looking for in the third room she checked. She pulled the fire alarm, neatly dodged the blue spray of paint by the simple expedient of adding a layer of tissues to her hand, and called the fire department from an office phone in case the party planners tried to pass it off as a drill to their guests.

Now came the difficult bit. She had to dump her bag so that if she were caught, the video would be safe, and then make it out in time to believably be a member of the party.

From the blueprints of the building during the planning, she had discovered a trash chute on the north side of the building. It was too small for her to fit through, but her purse should slide to safety. Only thing was, she was currently on the _west_ side of the building and had to pass by the security office to get there.

For this, Bella took off her heels, put on her climbing shoes, pinned her hair up, and pulled out a red shawl. A quick application of concealer would keep the bruises on her throat from being immediately noticeable. She just couldn’t let anyone look too closely at her.

At every corner, she double checked before committing. It was easy enough to dodge the security cameras, she was the Web-Cutter after all, but with the fire alarm still ringing, she couldn’t hear a blessed thing. If an army was coming up on her tail, Bella wouldn’t have a clue.

When an armed pair came out of the stairwell, Bella had to hide behind the door. She sucked in her stomach and hit the wall with her hand so they would hear a bang.

Neither of them so much as glanced back.

Smaug needed better security people.

Bella waited for them to disappear before she slipped up the card access hallway. She’d take any excuse to avoid walking straight past the security office. There was a trash chute on every level.

On the second floor, she made good time. She took a chance and shot off a message to Thorin to look for her bag in the dumpster if he could avoid notice. Here, there were fewer guards, less suspicion that she would be here.

Or so she thought.

She reached the chute and had her bag halfway into it when she heard voices yelling over the alarm, coming closer.

Crap!

Shoving with all her body weight, she pushed and pushed. The bag, full as it was, was a tight fit. She angled the books in it another way, hardly caring that she felt the glasses shatter, and slammed the door shut.

THUD. THUD. Thudthudthud.

Bella exhaled sharply and glanced around for some place to hide. It was a tight corner with no furniture or doors to hide behind. With the voices coming closer, she couldn’t make a dash away.

That left her with one option.

Glad Thorin wasn’t here to see this, Bella reached under her dress for the garter belt she had slipped on when he wasn’t looking. After her first job, she had this custom made. It had saved her bacon more than once.

Here’s to hoping it did the job again.

Alright, to be honest, Bella had gotten the inspiration from a movie, not a book, but the principle was sound.

The clips that usually connected to stockings were instead extendable wires that she pulled to their full length, and swung around like a lasso. Letting go at the top of her arc, the wires flashed through the air. The points at the ends sunk into drop tile ceiling

The voices were close enough she could make out the distinction between three men.

She had seconds left.

Bella hit the small button disguised as a fake pearl over her hip. The wire went taut and the winding mechanism jerked her up to the ceiling, legs first.

Slamming into the ceiling dented a tile, but she managed to brace herself in the corner with her legs spread wide and arms pushing against the walls.

Just like a spider.

Hah.

Hilarious.

She was about to fall.

The three men for earlier came into view as she fought to steady her breathing.

“I’m telling you, Bert, that girl would’ve been able to do it.” It was the man who had held her by the throat.

“Nah, Will. She ain’t that flexible,” Bert said. “Don’t ya think, Tom?”

Tom grunted. “Let’s find ‘er and see.”

Bella could happily live the rest of her life and never know what it was they were talking about.

 _Don’t stop here! Keep moving!_ She glared at them, trying to will them forward.

“Where do ya think she got off to?” Will peered around. “I saw ‘er in the stairs, but she went and vanished.”

“Hide and seek! ‘ere, little girl. ‘ere, little girl,” Bert crooned.

“Let me get out me ropes so we can keep ‘er this time,” Tom said brightly. He dug in his backpack.

Sweet Valar. That wasn’t terrifying at all. Bella redoubled the strength in her pose.

That was when she noticed her shawl beginning to slip from her shoulders.

Oh no.

No. No. No!

If it fell, it would land directly on the men and they were tall enough to drag her from the ceiling.

But she couldn’t move her arms or she would fall!

Desperate, she made a grab at it with her teeth, but the motion caused it to slip even farther. Half of it dangled off her in a bright red flag.

She screamed deep in her mind, but tried not to panic. Maybe she could find some sort of distraction or twist around to catch it or…

Crap. None of that would work.

She was well and truly screwed.

Bert sniffed. “Do you smell something?”

The other two took deep breaths. “Smells like fear.”

What were they, bloodhounds?

Bella pressed herself against the ceiling, trying to hold the shawl against the tiles. There had to be something she could do.

Tom’s head began to rise.

She tried not to panic, preparing herself to launch forward and surprise them. Bella walked through the attack in her mind. Though she hated violence, she had taken more than one self-defense class. She would jump on Tom first. Hit him in the throat. Then she’d pull back. Grab the spikes out of the ceiling. Drop down and stab them into Bert’s eye.

Her breathing sped up. She would have to be fast.

“Sirs!” A firefighter rounded the corner. In full gear, the man was the size of a mountain, carrying a small fire extinguisher and an ax.

All three men turned to glance at him.

“Sirs, you need to evacuate the building. We have to clear it before we can determine what set off the alarm,” the man said.

“We work here,” Will said.

“How nice. This way, please.”

“No.”

The firefighter considered them for a long moment, before he nodded. Pulling the pin from his fire extinguisher, he sprayed all three men before they could react. The foam hit them and they froze as if they had turned to stone.

“Fast acting neurotoxin,” the fireman said, raising his gaze to Bella. “I extracted it from mushrooms. Should keep them here for a while.”

She grinned. Underneath the helmet, she could see wild gray-brown hair and kind brown eyes. Uncle Radagast. He was the fire chief for the city, and one of Gandalf’s oldest friends. He had an interesting hobby of poisonous horticulture, but he was a good man.

“Perfect timing,” she said. Hitting the button again, Bella dropped a few feet before she pulled the pins free and fell to the floor.

“This way.” Radagast helped her up. As they walked quickly back to the first floor, he told her Gandalf had mentioned to keep an eye out for her if an alarm went off on this side of the city tonight. “He also said to pack a suit in your size.”

Once they had retrieved the suit from the base of the stairwell, Bella struggled into it and stuffed her hair up into the helmet. She didn’t mind accepting the help. Who needed a Plan C when she had a Gandalf?

“Thank you, Uncle.” She rose onto her toes to kiss his cheek.

He blushed and shuffled his feet. “Nonsense. Glad to help. Tell Gandalf I have something to tell him…something important. I’m sure I’ll remember it soon. Or perhaps I won’t until a second Tuesday.”

“I’ll tell him. And I’ll bring by your favorite cookies to the firehouse this week. Least I can do.”

That was an offer Radagast would never turn down. He waved her out of the building and into the swarm of firefighters.

Bella ducked behind a truck and stripped out of the suit. She folded it up, put it on the truck, and strode south. If she looped the block, it should give her enough cover to find Thorin to the north assuming he had gotten her bag.

Sure enough, Thorin waited for her several blocks up, her bag at his feet. Though he leaned casually against the building, watching the ruckus down the street, the bouncing red and blue lights showed the sheet of ice coating his gaze as he turned to look at her.

Great. A lecture.

He opened his mouth, but Bella held up a hand. Damn it, she had found the Arkenstone’s location, evidence against Smaug, and saved both of their lives. She would not listen to his righteous bullshit again.

“Before you yell at me for taking risks, remember what I said before we came here. This is my job, and I got it done. I don’t care if I pissed you off in doing so. With you out safely, I could get the evidence to you and escape easier. So, save your lecture on safety for someone who will listen.”

One eyebrow raised. Lava could have frozen under his tone. “Are you done?”

“Yes.”

Thorin blew out a long breath and pulled her into his arms. “I wasn’t going to lecture you. As you remember, I gave you my word I wouldn’t question you. And I didn’t.”

“Well, no, but—“

“Just shut up and let me hold you for a second.” He nuzzled her cheek and tightened his grip.

“You looked so mad,” she explained, leaning against him. Adrenaline drained from her, leaving her shaky and cold. It was always like this after a job, but she’d never had anyone to lean on like this.

“Of course I did. There was a man pointing a gun at you last time I saw you. I hate this whole situation. But I’m not mad at you.”

She snorted.

A soft chuckle rumbled in his chest. “Alright, I’m not _too_ mad at you.”

Bella smiled. Maybe she had overreacted a smidge. She found that she rather liked him worrying over her. “Well, that’s something. Thorin?”

“Hmm?”

“Let’s go home. My babysitter is only good until eleven,” she said.

“Isn’t Gandalf the one watching Frodo?” He reluctantly let her go, and kept one arm wrapped around her waist.

“Yep. But he isn’t as young as he thinks he is.”

“You take care of everyone, don’t you, Bella?”

She looked up, but she couldn’t read his expression. “Only those that need it.”

Thorin kissed her forehead and led her down the street.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick update today before I head out for the weekend!  
> Let me know what you think of Bella's escape!


	12. The Past Resurfaces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Small trigger warning: mentions of past domestic abuse

Dis and Bella had lunch on Friday. It was a teacher planning day and Bella needed an escape from the Dewey Decimal system. She and Dis had struck up an unlikely friendship these past few weeks. It was nice to have a female friend when most of her social circle were male Hobbits. Besides, she got her experiences with raising Frodo. 

And since Dis had less tact than a cloistered hermit newly reintroduced into society, there was no concern she might say the wrong thing or go long without waiting to hear about Thorin’s goings on. 

Halfway through the pie, Dis pointed her fork at Bella. “I’m disappointed in you.” 

“Because I ate my half and am now starting on yours?” she guessed. 

“No. Well, yes. Mahal, where do you put all that food?” Dis frowned at her. 

“Hollow legs.” 

“Huh. I might have to buy a pair. Anyway, I’m disappointed because my brother is still alive and having a date tomorrow night, and you just told me that you have plans neither for murder nor a date of your own,” Dis said. 

The pie stuck in her throat. Thorin had a date? Well, that clarified a few things. Things had been warming between them, but apparently he was just thinking friends, nothing more. 

“Ah…,” she said when Dis seemed to require an answer. “Good for him?” 

Deep blue eyes narrowed. “Try again.” 

“What do you want me to say? Things between Thorin and I are…complicated. Does it suck that he doesn’t want to date me? Sure, but I’m a big girl. I’ll get over it. And before you suggest it, no, I don’t want to murder him.” She took a sip of ice water. 

“Damn. I already had my murdering outfit all picked out.” She smiled at Bella’s choked laughter. “I love my brother, and I want the best for him. I think it’s you. If being six feet under is what it takes for him to see sense, I’m all for it.” 

“How very Meyer Lansky of you.” Bella rolled her eyes. “I’ll keep that under consideration as long as you don’t try to set me up on a date as well.” 

Dis opened her mouth and then paused. “Alright. Then how about a girls’ day? We could go to dinner, watch a chick flick, and then do something unique. I mean, Thorin’s putting a lot of effort into his evening. He’s come up with quite the plan. Something to do with gear and black shirts.” 

“I thought today was a girls’ day,” Bella pointed out. 

“Girls’ night then. How do you like paintball?” 

She took another bite of pie to keep from smiling. “I’ve never been paintballing. Would I need to bring anything?” 

“Not much. Wear black so we can see the paint where it hits you. And we’ll have to rent gear, like pads and helmets and stuff,” Dis said. 

“Maybe we could just borrow it all from Thorin,” she said slyly. 

“Nah, that’s what he’s doing with his date. He’ll be using it all--,” Dis said before she caught herself. “Damn. You’re better than he is.” 

Bella tipped an imaginary hat to her. “How about we do paintball some other time?” 

“Are you sure, it’s really fun. We probably won’t even see Thorin on the course,” she said. “No? Fine. Then dinner at Beorn’s. My treat.” 

Her eyebrows shot up. That was the most expensive place in town. Very romantic. “Dis, if you want to take me on a date, all you have to do is ask. I’m very flattered.” 

Dis laughed. “If only we both were lesbian. We could raise the boys together and take over the world.” 

“I’ll toast to that.” 

They touched forks. 

“But my answer is still no because I have a feeling that we might also run into Thorin at the restaurant, which would be ten shades of awkward,” Bella said. 

Dis sighed. “Fine. You’re right.” 

They paid the bill and walked outside. “What a beautiful day.” 

“It’s supposed to be a beautiful weekend,” Dis agreed. “You know how we could enjoy it?” 

“Hiking?” Bella suggested. 

“Paintballing.” 

“Dis!” 

“Fine!” she huffed. “Dinner, at least? We can sit outside.” 

“Not many places have outdoor seating this time of year. They think it’s too close to winter.” 

“True, but Beorn’s has these great benches…” 

“DIS!” Bella rolled her eyes. 

“I’m just saying…” 

Despite the fact that she didn’t deserve it, Bella blew Dis a kiss and headed for her car. The bakery was one of her favorites, run by the Gamgee family of Frodo’s friends and fellow Hobbits, but it had been discovered a few months ago. She had to park in Outer Mongolia and hike to the store today. 

She enjoyed the sunshine. Winter wasn’t too far away. She’d take any warmth she could now. 

The walk turned tense halfway to her car. It felt as though someone watched her. Her skin went taut and her breathing picked up. 

Bella didn’t even consider that she was being paranoid and this was nothing. Too many times in the past had her instincts proven true, and the Web-Cutter certainly had enemies. 

She considered her options. Keep walking and try to shake the tail or turn and confront them? Hide in a store until she could pick out the person? 

Almost ready to take a random turn, hands shot out and pulled her into a dark alleyway. She almost laughed at the literary cliché of it all before fear shot through her. 

Fear that turned to absolute panic when she saw who had grabbed her. The man was only a few inches taller than her and weighed half as much. Long black hair was contained in a ponytail that set off his shallow skin. Huge eyes, so dark they were almost black, focused on her with unblinking intent. 

“Gollum?” she whispered. Oh gods. 

“Baggins,” he hissed. He never called her by her first name anymore. 

Carefully, Bella tried to ease back, but his hands lashed out and caught her throat. Fingers dug in to her throat, cutting off her air with brutal efficiency. 

“Baggins is a thief. Give it back!” 

She managed to whack him in the side of the head with her purse. Gollum released her with a screech. Holding her purse carefully to her chest, Bella eased toward the alley mouth. Air came in desperate gulps. 

“Give what back?” Bella choked. 

“My precious!” He advanced on her. 

Her feet couldn’t move quickly enough. As she tried to remember how to breathe, he punched her. 

The ground rose up to meet her and her head cracked hard on the asphalt. 

Get up! Her mind screamed. She knew all too well what could happen if she were vulnerable in front of Gollum. But her body couldn’t respond when the world went fuzzy and wavy in front of her eyes. 

“Where is it?” he demanded. 

“I don’t know.” She whimpered in pain, but managed to push herself to her hands and knees. Damn it, she was strong. She wasn’t going to let him hurt her again. 

“LIAR!” he screeched. 

“Gollum, please, I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Somehow she made it to her feet. She needed to call the cops. Get help. 

Gollum moved to block her exit from the alley. “You had it. You took my precious from me.” 

For a moment her panic receded and Bella was viciously sad. He had played her, played her so well that even after he turned on her, she had mourned his absence for months. Gollum had once been a Hobbit, a successful thief who had a real talent for sliding from one disguise to another. They had met not long after her parents’ deaths, and Bella had been so lonely she didn’t want to look beneath the surface of his attention, despite all the warning signs. She had been so stupid. 

All he had wanted was a ring she had stolen from the estate of a long dead businessman who had been killed by the Shadow Party. He couldn’t get it because he was never any good at hacking security systems, but Bella had gotten it with ease. When she refused to turn it over, he had exploded. Nearly killed her in the fight. 

Thankfully her friends had helped her recover and convinced her to alert the police. They had put him away for several years, and it seemed prison had only increased his obsession with the ring. 

“I didn’t take anything from you,” she said. How was she going to get by him? 

Slipping one hand into her purse, she felt around for her cell phone. Bard had been the police officer to help her five years ago and become her friend. She had no doubt he would help her again. Then her hand snagged on her garter belt. She had slipped it off behind the fire truck that night. 

Oh, this was a horrible idea. Her hands were shaking so badly, she wouldn’t be able to hold it long. But the special feature she hadn’t had a chance to deploy at Fort Ancalagon might be her only option. 

It meant she had to get closer to Gollum. 

Bella swallowed hard, barely noticing the pain from her head and throat. She could do this. She could do this. 

“Many things you took! Do not speak in riddles,” he spat. 

“But you love riddles,” she cajoled and took one tiny step closer. “Remember the one you told me about the wind that stumped me for hours?” 

The manic light dimmed briefly in his eyes. “Yes.” 

“And the one about the mountain? That was a good one too.” Three more steps. 

“The one about time you almost didn’t get,” he said proudly. 

Two more steps. “Exactly! You are much cleverer than me.” 

For half a second, Bella hoped she might not have to use her belt. But then Gollum’s face contorted with rage and he rushed her. Screaming, she pulled the miniature knife sewn into the top lining and held it to his throat. 

Gollum froze. He panted, fingers clutching at the air as though longing to wrap around her throat. 

“Don’t move,” she warned shakily. The blade was only about two inches long, so she had to stand very close to him, but her other hand was free to call Bard. The officer promised to be there in two minutes. 

So for two minutes, she and Gollum stared at each other, neither moving to do more than breathe. It was long enough that her injuries gained enough ground on her fear to make themselves felt. The left side of her face ached something awful, and she could feel the asphalt where her chin had met it. 

Bella bruised easily. She would be a freaking Jackson Polluck painting by tomorrow. How was she going to keep Frodo from panicking? His greatest fear was that she would abandon him, that some terrible accident would take her away too, and so he always overreacted to her minor cuts and bruises when she ran into walls or got a paper cut. 

Lots of makeup, she decided. And dark sunglasses. There was no reason to worry him. 

Her phone rang, making both of them jump. She answered without looking away from Gollum to check the caller ID. “Hello.” 

“Bella?” Oh gods, it was Thorin. 

Of fucking course. 

Pardon her French. 

“Err…this is a bad time. Can I call you back?” 

“I’ll be quick. Meeting at my house tomorrow to discuss the video. Is four okay?” 

“Uh.” She couldn’t think about her schedule. Her mind refused to compute. It was static and memory. “Uh, sure.” 

“Are you alright? You sound a little…off.” 

“Fine!” Her voice went up two octaves. If she thought about it too hard, she would collapse into hysterics, and there was no reason Thorin needed to know about this either. “I have to go. See you tomorrow at two.” 

“Four.” 

“Right. Five. Sorry. Four.” 

“Bella, are you sure—“ 

“Got to go. Bye!” She all but threw her phone back into her purse. 

“Have a new precious, Baggins?” Gollum cooed. “Does he know you’re a thief and a liar?” 

“Shut up,” she warned him, on the edge of hysteria. “Shut up!” 

“Bella!” Bard raced into the alley and tackled Gollum. He had him in cuffs within seconds. “Are you alright?” 

Fighting tears, she nodded and put away the knife. “I am so glad to see you.” 

The handsome cop flashed her a reassuring smile. “Same, Bella girl. You had me real worried. Should have known you’d be able to handle it.” His rich, slow voice made her relax a little. Bard knew what he was doing. He had helped her navigate all the legalese before. 

Once he handed off Gollum to a fellow officer, he called the paramedics and guided her to a seat outside a nearby shop. “Talk me through it, Bella girl.” 

She gathered the last of her courage and told the story. When she finished, her head pounded as though a thousand elephants danced to Riverdance tunes inside. 

Bard patted her on the shoulder. “You did good. Everything’s going to be alright. He broke parole so he’ll be gone for a long, long time. Especially if you file another claim against him.” 

“I just want to go home,” she murmured, hiding her face in her hands. 

“I know, Bella girl. We’ll get you there soon. Just let the EMTs look at your cuts.” He held her hand through the whole painful procedure, distracting her with tales of his three young children. 

“Thank you, Bard.” She hugged him before letting another cop drive her to her car. “For everything.” 

“Anything for you, Bella girl. You know that.” He held her gently. Just after Bard’s wife had died, Bella had helped his family get away from her horrible family who insisted Bard had killed her to get money. The Master, as her great uncle liked to be called, and his son, Alfrid, had made it almost impossible for Bard to find another job until Bella found and leaked a few compromising details about each man. For payment, she had insisted that he and his kids come over for Thanksgiving every year to distract them and her and Frodo from the ghosts of missing loved ones. 

Bard was the main reason she had learned to trust again. His friendship came with no strings attached and he was always there when she needed help. 

“So what’s this I hear about you and a certain detective?” he asked lightly as she waved away painkillers. 

“You cops are terrible gossips, you know that?” 

“Absolutely. We pride ourselves on it.” 

Bella sighed. “He’s just a friend, Bard. We went out on a date. He found out about my moonlighting activities, and now we’re distant friends.” 

Though at the moment, Bella would give just about anything to have his warmth surrounding her when she tried to go to sleep tonight. 

Bard was silent for a moment. “Thorin is a good man, Bella girl, but he has secrets of his own. Be careful. If it became a choice between you and revenge, I’m not sure he would make the right call.” 

 

 

 

“Wait a minute,” Dwalin growled. “I thought you said you found the code for the safe. How can it be unbreakable if you have the key?” 

Bella spoke for the first time since the meeting began two hours ago. She sat curled in her chair, unnaturally still. Sunglasses covered half of her face and she wore a turtleneck that swallowed her slim frame. Though they were inside, Bella had yet to take off her glasses, claiming she was holding off a migraine. Thorin didn’t buy it, but he could hardly say anything with everyone around. 

A cautiously warm peace had sprung up between them since sneaking into the gala last weekend. Bella smiled when she saw him picking up Fili and Kili, and he started a text conversation that had morphed into an argument over the origins of golf. He enjoyed waking up to her new thought or witty remark. 

“The safe has three doors, each with their own unique three-digit key,” Bella said softly. Her voice was hoarse as though she had been screaming for hours at a concert. 

Or as though something had happened to her throat that she needed to hide. 

Thorin bit back more questions and demands for answers, feeling them burn his throat. That strange phone call yesterday must have something to do with this, but she hadn’t answered any of his subsequent calls. It was enough to piss any man off. 

“Yes, we have one code, but I don’t know to which door it corresponds or even a hint about the other two. Input any number incorrectly and the safe self-destructs with everything in it.” 

“Which, as you can imagine, is an outcome we’d rather avoid,” Gandalf said, giving his goddaughter a sharp look. So he noticed it too. “We will do our best to figure out the other codes, but in the meantime, we will focus on this new evidence. Bella will do what she does best and plan her entry into Erebor.” 

Bella saluted him, earning a dry chuckle from Dwalin. 

“The video idea is very clever,” Nori said. “Helps you put everything back in place.” 

“Exactly. My memory is decent, but I like having back up plans,” she said, sounding more like herself. “I got the idea after reading this murder mystery with a wily heroine.” 

“Have you ever considered-“ Nori broke off when Gandalf cleared his throat. “Right. Apologies, Chief. We’ll compare notes some other time. Coffee, perhaps?” 

Bella smiled slightly. “I’d like that.” 

Thorin had to fight not to slam Nori’s face into the table. 

“Bring us up to speed on the video.” Gandalf put on a pair of glasses and flipped open the folder Thorin handed him. 

“There are more details in your reports, but the basic message is this: Smaug went first after our stock with insider trading knowledge. Nori, there’s a list in there of what you can start tracking down from that angle. Then, he marched into Erebor, threw down his receipts for selling off all the shares he had sold to a shell company. Forcing a payout of that much stock so quickly threw the company into chaos. My grandfather, as we know, went to talk with him. Smaug demanded the Arkenstone. Grandpa refused and two days later he was dead. The report at the time claimed heart attack, but Bella found a reference to a poison I can’t pronounce.” 

“I’ll pull the records and see if any blood work was done to retest,” Oin, the ME, said, already making notes. “This one is tricky, but if the blood was drawn soon enough…” He tapered off to mutterings that only Balin seemed to understand. 

“Thank you. Dori, you will follow up on the insider trading angle and help Oin with determining if there is a murder case,” Thorin said. He had absolutely no doubt Smaug had killed his grandfather, but they needed solid evidence. “Dwalin and I will be chasing leads on my father’s whereabouts. If he’s still alive, he’s our best witness against Smaug.” 

“What did the notebook say about Thrain?” Balin asked. 

It took Thorin a minute to answer. When he had seen that page in the video, Thorin had punched his desk hard enough to dent the wood. Years he had searched for his father and he might be right under his nose in the worst possible place. 

“The Necromancer’s Castle.” 

Everyone winced. 

Bella reached over and touched his knee gently. “You’ll find him, Thorin.” 

He wished she wasn’t wearing glasses. Her green gaze and the unerring belief she had in him had become his anchor against the blackness of vengeance. Instead, he settled for lacing their fingers together under the table to let her heat wash over him. 

The Necromancer’s Castle was a privately run prison that had been investigated countless times for human rights violations. No one was sure who owned it, but witnesses willing to testify against the conditions disappeared with astonishing speed. The Shadow Party had used it years ago as a new take on a golag to rid itself of pesky political opponents, and it was little better now. 

“Excellent plan, Detective.” Gandalf nodded. “I have a meeting with the White Council soon. I shall see if anything else moves against us that they have heard.” 

Comprised of the District Attorney, Police Chief, Police Commissioner, and the head Circuit Court Judge, the White Council was an immensely powerful group that had battled the corrupt Shadow Party at its height. 

Bella’s phone rang and she excused herself to answer it. Seeing how stiffly she moved, Thorin gave her a two-minute head start and pleaded the restroom. 

He found her on the back porch, nodding and frowning at the conversation. 

“No, I understand. I don’t want it to escalate or happen to someone else.” A pause. “Of course. I can stop by to sign.” 

To keep their fragile trust alive, Thorin cleared his throat so she wouldn’t think he was eavesdropping. 

Bella turned and stared at him for a long moment. Her shoulders slumped slightly, but she held up one finger and didn’t move away. 

“Does Monday work? Seven? Wonderful, thank you, Bard. I don’t know how I’d get through this without you. I will. Bye.” She hung up and slid the phone into her back pocket. 

“Bard Girion is a police officer,” Thorin murmured, stepping up next to her. “He takes almost all of our domestic abuse cases.” 

She sighed. “You don’t say.” 

“Bella…Are you in danger? You don’t have to tell me specifics if you don’t want, but I am here to help. You and Frodo can stay with as long as you need and-“ 

She reached over to squeeze his hand where it had fisted on the railing. He relaxed with an effort and kept a hold. “Thank you. I…It means a lot.” 

“Offering you a room? That’s not much.” He had to fight not to pull off her sunglasses and confirm his worst fears. 

“It’s the thought behind it. And that you haven’t beaten your chest and ordered me to tell you.” She smiled. 

“It crossed my mind.” Whatever it was with them, and Thorin was forming concrete ideas about that, he would always be honest with her. “I want to wrap you up and lock you in a tower where no one can hurt you.” 

She laughed and leaned into him. “How very barbaric of you. At least you didn’t say keep me barefoot and pregnant in this tower.” 

His imagination short circuited at the thought of keeping Bella in his bed long enough to practice until he felt their child kicking beneath his hand. A child with her curls and grit and the Durinson name. 

Thorin pinched the bridge of his nose. Sweet Mahal! Had Dis slipped something in his coffee this morning? 

Thankfully Bella dragged him back from such dangerous thoughts as she grimaced. She reached up to her sunglasses, but stopped as her fingers wrapped around the frames. “Gandalf does not need to know, alright? It has been taken care of, and I don’t want to worry him.” 

He nodded. 

The sunglasses dropped and so did his stomach. 

Bruises soaked the left side of her face in deep purple and green. Her eye was receding from being swollen shut. Scuff marks lined her jaw and when Thorin gently tugged down her high neckline, he saw angry red fingerprints fading from her neck. 

“Bella,” he whispered. “Darling, are you sure you’re alright?” 

“I promise. Doesn’t hurt anymore.” She gave him a lopsided smile. 

Thorin reached out, paused, and drew her into the shelter of his body at her nod. He clenched his jaw tightly enough to break a crown with the force necessary to restrain his temper. Someone had hurt Bella. Hurt her badly enough she had been in lingering pain. 

He would take care of this. Get the file from Bard, make the man disappear quietly. The fear in her gaze could completely vanish. 

She hugged him tightly. “I’m fine, Thorin. I promise. Bard has him in custody and I’m going to press charges.” 

Damn it, he should be the one reassuring her! Not the other way around. “Whatever you need, Bella, I’m here for you.” 

Her head tipped back and clear green eyes searched his. “Thorin, I know you would help anyone in my situation and I appreciate your support, I really do, but after everything, it…it just hurts too much to have an offer to lean on you and then have to walk away tonight.” 

She stepped back. Bella put back on her glasses, this time to hide the tears that threatened. Her emotions were all over the place today. Having Gollum show up out of the blue, go through the legal and hospital crap, and keeping it all from Frodo, Bella felt as though she had been through the wringer. The temptation to lean on Thorin and believe that she really was safe, that she had fought her way clear of the past, was too tempting. 

But even if he was her friend as she was beginning to hope, Bella still wanted more. To be supported by him and believe she wasn’t alone would give her too much hope, hope that would shatter when she left him tonight and he went on his date that Dis had mentioned. It wasn’t his fault, but all Bella had right now was hope. Until she got her feet back, she couldn’t lose that. 

“Don’t,” Thorin said suddenly. 

Bella blinked. What had she been doing? 

“Don’t walk away tonight.” 

“I…Thorin, I didn’t mean to force you into anything out of pity,” she said carefully. “Or to make you feel like you have to protect me.” 

That was the last thing she wanted. 

“No, it’s not that. I don’t want you to think I pity you. About as far from that as possible.” He ran a hand over his face. “Bella, I want to be the one there for you. When you’re hurt, when you’re scared, when you’re happy. Not Bard, not your friends. Me. These past two weeks, having you close and not being able to spend time with just you, it’s been hell, Bella.” 

Sure, her jaw was somewhere down around her ankles, Bella could do nothing but stare at him. 

Thorin bit back a curse. “I know I haven’t handled things well, Bella, but I want to try. I can work with the Web-Cutter thing. I know how carefully you plan things out and choose your clients. None of that matters when I realized how much I want you. How much I respect you. How much I need you.” 

“But…but what about your date tonight?” she stammered. “Dis said…” 

“Dis should keep her mouth shut,” he growled. “That date tonight was going to be with you, if you said yes. I was going to ask you after the meeting.” 

Though her heart leaped at the chance, Bella hesitated. If this went sour, it would be utterly devastating. Bella knew him better now and wanted so much. Could she risk it all knowing how much it hurt to see him walk away? 

Was she that brave? 

Thorin ran a gentle finger over her mouth, for once looking uncertain. “Bella, would you like to have dinner with me tonight? We’ll go somewhere fun.” 

Inevitable heartbreak or not, Bella wanted one night with him to forget about everything else for a while. “Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah! Gollum arrives with a glimpse at Bella's past. And a bit of Bard as well. 
> 
> It's long and emotions heavy, but I hope you enjoyed the steps taken in their relationship. The next chapter- the date- I promise will be much more light-hearted and funny.


	13. Paintball, Eagles, and a waltz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin and Bella have their date- with a few surprises along the way

They did indeed go paintballing. Thorin lent her black clothing and helped her into the gear when they reached the outdoor course. He smiled as she twisted her hair up into a knot and tugged on the helmet.

“If cute is the next word out of your mouth, I will hit you,” she warned him.

“How about adorable?”

Bella scowled. “That’s even worse.”

“Coquettish?” He laughed.

“Hmm…I could work with that.”

Thorin kissed the tip of her nose, surprising her at the touch. “I was going to say beautiful in a rough and tumble kind of way.”

That was much better. She smiled and tucked her thumbs into his chest pad. “Now you’ve stolen my compliment.”

“You think I’m beautiful?”

This was what she had missed these past few weeks: seeing the charming, teasing, warm man Thorin kept buried. She liked being the one to bring it out in him. “Yes, I do. You could charm many a Victorian man if you can dance as well.”

“I’ll raise your dance with a waltz.”

She ran her hand over the sharp line of his chin, and reluctantly stepped back. “I’ll hold you to that, Mr. Durinson.”

Thorin handed her the paintball gun, showed her how to load and fire it, and then led her onto balcony overlooking the course. “Now, we can either play on a team, or participate in the free for all. A new game will begin in five minutes”

“What do we win?”

“A gift card, I think, to the attached restaurant.”

She hefted the gun thoughtfully. Her aim wasn’t too bad, but she didn’t kid herself to think she could take on an Army Ranger in his natural element. Besides, this was a date. Surely they should work as a team.

But then she caught the gleam in Thorin’s eye as he gazed down at her. There was no pity for her bruises, no smothering concern. Anger, perhaps, at the man responsible. And a healthy dose of enjoyment at her presence.

This could be fun.

“What do I get from you if _I_ win?’ she asked innocently.

He smiled, a devilish look about him. “How about that waltz?”

“Sounds fair.” Spinning around in his arms sounded damn appealing.

“And if I win?”

Bella thought quickly. “I’ll cook you dinner.”

“And dessert.”

“Deal.”

They shook on it and Thorin sealed it with a kiss that left her breathless.

“So all I have to do is hit somebody with a paintball, right?” she asked as the other players joined them on the balcony.

“Direct hits only. Splatter off a tree or something doesn’t count. And no shots to the head or groin.”

“Don’t want to damage the goods,” she agreed.

He chuckled. “Exactly. We’ll have fifteen minutes to eliminate the other players and each other.”

“As if you have a chance,” a voice spoke up from behind them.

She and Thorin turned. A group of young boys, maybe thirteen or fourteen, stood in a cluster to the side, and two men leaned against the far wall. Bella didn’t need him to remove his helmet to recognize the one man.

Azog.

Goodness grief. Did the man have a date radar?

“My son, Bolg.” He nodded to the other mountain of a man.

Bella raised her eyebrows. “Pleasure.”

Thorin just growled. Good thing there was only paint in his gun.

The bell sounded before either of them could say anything further, and Thorin led the way down the steps. The course was built into a hillside, full of enormous boulders, wooden huts, and tree houses. They had two minutes to disperse before the next bell sounded and the game began.

Bella almost suggested they form a team against Azog, but then decided this was probably in her best interest. Azog and Thorin would focus on each other, leaving her free to track down her date and win a dance when he was distracted.

Mean of her? Probably. Was she going to do it anyway? Hell yes.

She headed straight up the hillside, adding in a few zigzags along the way. She needed a viewpoint of the whole field to make a map in her mind. The group of kids passed her, laughing and yelling, as the men faded instantly into the terrain.

No one so much as glanced at her.

Perfect.

It took almost a full minute to pick out the tree she wanted, and a solid five to climb it. Thankfully no one was watching to see her inelegant shimmy up the trunk. At least after this exercise she could skip arm day at the gym next week. Panting a bit, she levered herself up onto a thick branch and peered around the course.

As expected, Thorin and Azog were in full Rambo mode. Thorin ghosted across the roof of a shack, his gun up and trained on Azog as the other man raced for cover. Bolg chased Thorin, aiming right for his back.

Oh now, come on. That was hardly sporting.

Bella took careful aim and hit the wood right next to Bolg’s head. He startled and turned, searching for the sniper, and she nailed him right in the chest. The bright pink of her paint spread over his black pad.

From her perch she could hear Bolg swearing up a blue streak as he stomped off the course.

Bella chuckled to herself and scouted out her next hiding spot. Thorin could handle Azog on his own and then she’d take him out.

Humming a waltz under her breath, Bella slid off the tree. She made to head for a shack with good sight lines off to the left side when she heard crunching behind her. Whirling, she found Bolg aiming his gun at her.

“Hey! You’re out of the game," she said.

He just shrugged. “Not how I play. That was just one shot.”

“Fine.” She unloaded three more at pointblank range on his chest. Now his whole front was neon pink. “ _Now_ you’re out of the game. In triplicate.”

Bolg glanced down at his padding and then slowly raised his head to hers. “You will pay for that.”

“Take it up with the umpire.”

He refilled his paint reservoir with blinding speed.

Bella took two steps back, ready to dive for cover. She was not about to let this jackass take her out of the game because he refused to fight fair.

“CHARGE!”

Six boys exploded from the undergrowth and circled around Bella. They put their guns to their shoulders, and the leader told Bolg, “step away from the lady! You are out of the game!”

The arrival startled Bolg, but he made no move to back down.

“Last warning, sir!” the leader said. “Drop your gun!”

Bolg curled his lip. “Get out of the way, boy.”

“FIRE AT WILL!”

A flurry of paintballs slammed into Bolg, knocking him back at their combined force. When the volley died, Bolg looked like the latest installation at the Museum of Modern Art. He wiped paint splatter off his face, and glared at all of them.

“Escort team!” the kid said. “Break off and rejoin near the Spanish Hut.”

Three boys took Bolg’s gun away and frog marched him to the exit.

The others turned to Bella and bowed. “Ma’am.”

Bella curtsied as best she could in pants. “Gentlemen, my thanks. May I know the name of my saviors?”

“Roll call!” The leader stepped forward. “Thorondor at your service, ma’am.”

“Gwaihir!”

“Landroval!”

“Charmed. I’m Bella.” She peered at their uniforms. “Oh! You’re Eagle Scouts! My, I have top tier protection tonight.”

They beamed at her. “Our please, ma’am. What is your mission?”

“Taking out the other two men. The taller one last. However, it is imperative we take out the short one in spectacular fashion,” she said. “He cheats.”

The boys exchanged a look. “Would you like some help?”

“I’d be honored. Have your earned your trap badge yet?”

Evil grins bloomed on their faces. “Aye, ma’am. This way.”

 

Thorin chased Azog across the paintball course, grim and determined. He might not have been able to protect Bella from her ex-boyfriend, who she had reluctantly told him was responsible for the bruises though she refused to give his name in case Thorin was still feeling homicidal (probably a smart move on her part), but damn it, he was not going to let Azog ruin this for them or get anywhere near Bella.

He cornered Azog in a circle of trees after his first choice was taken by the group of kids who were dashing around all over the course. He hadn’t seen Bolg or Bella in a long while, but he wasn’t too worried. She was a damned sight smarter than Bolg and craftier than most people guessed.

After he took care of Azog, he’d go in search of her and secure that dinner. Only an idiot would turn down Bella’s cooking and having her attention for an evening.

Sighting around a tree trunk, Thorin had just gotten Azog in his sights when the man disappeared. Not like he ran away or feinted to one side. He disappeared. One second he was in the middle of the clearing, the next, he was gone.

“What the fuck?” Thorin eased into the clearing and nearly got brained by Azog’s gun dropping from the sky.

He glanced up and fell on his ass laughing.

Azog was strung upside down from the top branches with pantyhose. The stretchy material made him bounce slightly up and down. Foliage above his feet had been painted bright pink to read _World’s Biggest Prick_.

Mahal, Bella was amazing.

Rustling made him look up in time to see six teenagers emerge from the dead leaves and dirt, and point their guns in an honorary arch. Bella walked through the tunnel a moment later and offered him a hand up. “Falling down on the job, Captain Durinson.”

“Merely admiring your handiwork.” He kept a hold of her hand when he gained his feet and nodded to the boys. “Excellent work, men.”

“You can’t do this!” Azog yelled.

“I don’t remember a no traps rule.” Bella shrugged. “Would you like to do the honors, Thorin?”

“My pleasure.” He double tapped Azog’s chest in dark blue.

“Excellent.” Bella rose onto her toes to kiss him gently. “This was fun.”

“Good.” He reached for her to deepen the kiss, but she winked at him, and, it felt like, punched him in the chest. Thorin glanced down.

That little minx. She had shot him!

“I win!” Bella did a little dance.

“Not so fast, darling. We still have two more minutes of the game. I’m out, but I do believe these six soldiers are still playing,” He pointed out.

The smile slipped from her face as the boys nodded.

“It’s the rules, ma’am,” the tallest one said with a measure of regret.

“How about we tie?” She started backing away.

They considered this for half a second before they looked at Thorin. He shook his head. “There has to be a winner, darling. Now, I’d be happy to offer my tactical expertise to whomever wants it.”

“We do, sir!”

“They’re polite. I like them.” He grinned at Bella who stuck out her tongue and rabbited.

Thorin and the boys hashed out a plan within thirty seconds and they all dispersed to carry it out. Thorin jumped onto the roof of a shack to watch.

He spotted Bella a few seconds before the boys did. He had to hand it to her, this was clever. A little more training and she would never have been found.

Jumping from tree to tree, she climbed higher and higher, obviously trying to get out of range. She steadily made her way toward the front of the course.

The boys held to the plan. Two tracked her obviously while three circled around front. Bella picked off the back two with remarkable accuracy from her perch. Then she ran straight into the wall of teenagers who forced her out of the trees.

But he’d underestimated her. Bella dropped straight to the ground to avoid the barrage and rolled away. As she rolled, she took wild shots at the boys’ legs, managing to take out another pair.

She and the last man faced off warily. He could see the exact instant she decided to let him win, but it was too late.

“TIMBER!” The last boy dropped from the trees and upended his paint reservoir on Bella’s head.

Spluttering through the paint, she wiped at her goggles and laughed. “Very clever. Alright, alright! You win!”

They left the boys to settle between themselves who was the ultimate victor, and Thorin led a still laughing Bella to the exit.

“I like this paintballing thing,” she said. “Even if it did cost me a pair of pantyhose.”

“You were ruthless.”

Bella shrugged. “I get it from my mother. Tooks are very competitive.”

“I like it.” He snuck a kiss before she darted off to change. Thorin watched her go, stripping off her helmet to unleash a flood of curls, and wondered why the fuck he had ever doubted her.

Yes, what she did was illegal. But reading what all she’d accomplished with her robberies, it felt like she was doing more good in the world than Thorin. What really bothered him about her job was how much danger she routinely put herself in.

Somehow they’d have to reach a compromise about that.

Thorin had realized that he would rather have even a short time with her than a lifetime of nothing. They hadn’t known each other long, but that didn’t hinder the intensity of his feelings. He trusted her, had never really stopped trusting her if he was willing to let her call the shots at the gala. Having the Web-Cutter thing blared in his face had hit him hard. Smaug had once been a close family friend. The souring of trust and friendship had embittered Thorin, but painting Bella with the same brush was unfair to both of them.

It was ultimately a very simple choice: Did he cling to the past or dare to hope for the future?

Whichever one Bella was in, he’d take that option.

He’d spend as long as she let him making up for his behavior and making her happy.

 

 

Dinner at Beorn’s was fantastic. Thorin could have died a happy man after dessert—a heavenly chocolate mousse. Bella claimed he had to roll her out of the building she had eaten so much.

He rolled his eyes. “Darling, I saw you eyeing that cake that just went by. No one eats like you.”

“True. And you weren’t even around for the great pie summer of ’89.” She laughed.

Thorin paid the bill over her protests, and took her hand as they left the restaurant. A path wound along a nearby river, perfect for a slow walk. Thorin wasn’t ready to give her up just yet.

“You have a babysitter until ten?”

She shook her head. “Frodo is staying the night at Sam’s. Apparently tonight is the night they are going to catch the Gamgees’ orange thief.”

“A fruit thief? I had no idea you all specialized so much.”

Bella punched him in the arm. “I happen to know that this particular thief is in fact Mr. Gamgee himself. He uses them to flavor his home brewed beer, but has yet to inform his wife of this since she banned him from brewing after his last batch blew up.”

“Scandalous! The seedier side of your small town is showing its face.”

Her soft laugh warmed the evening. “That’s about as scandalous as Hobbiton gets, I’m afraid. Hey, you and the boys should come out next weekend. We’re having our annual autumn festival. There will be a hay bale maze, a bonfire, and all the colorful characters of the town. Every year the miller has too much punch and does a spirited interpretive dance of our town’s founding. Then he and Hamfast get into a fight that is less fisticuffs and more yelling ridiculous insults and sniping at each other with marsh mellows.”

“We’ll be there.”

They talked of political events and plans for the future as they slowly wound their way back to the car. The warmth of Bella’s hand in his had the stress of the day melting away. Tomorrow he could worry again about Smaug, but for the moment he had a beautiful, smiling woman at his side and a feeling of contentment he hadn’t had in years.

“Over here.” Bella pulled him into a small copse of trees across from the river. She kicked off her shoes and held out a pink-stained hand. “I do believe I was promised a dance.”

“You didn’t win.”

“But I beat you.”

“You cheated. Distracted me with a kiss.”

Bella raised an eyebrow. “Are you saying that you _can’t_ waltz after all?”

“We don’t have music.” he pointed out.

“I’ll hum.”

Thorin joined her in the soft grass and took her hand. “I just think I should get my forfeit as well.”

“Greedy, greedy.” She laughed. “Alright. Pick a night this week and you can join Frodo and I for a feast.”

Spinning around to her slightly off-key rendition of _Once Upon A Dream_ , Thorin and Bella danced until the stars came out and she was too breathless with laughter to sing anymore. He held her close, laughing right along with her in the moonlight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A much lighter chapter today. Still, I hope you like it and the adaption of the Eagles.  
> I have another chapter already written which I will hopefully post sometime this weekend. No promises on the speed of updates after that.  
> Much love for all those who have taken the time to comment and like this! I appreciate it more than you know.


	14. Library House of Horrors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The library is under attack

The book slid from Bella’s hand and landed painfully on her foot. The sharp bite of pain hardly registered in comparison to what she saw on the security camera feed. 

“Boys!’ she called, striving to sound calm. “Over here now, please.” 

Fili, Kili, and Frodo glanced up from their homework at one of the long tables in the middle. By some miracle, none of them questioned her. They put papers and pencils in their backpacks and came over to the library’s central desk. 

Dis had called just before the school day ended to ask a favor of Bella. She was stuck in traffic due to a car crash on the bridge, and Thorin was in a meeting with the mayor. Could Bella please keep an eye on her boys until Dis or Thorin got there, she shouldn’t be long, but the boys were too young to walk home by themselves? Though she had a feeling this was some matchmaking ploy since Thorin hadn’t told her about their date, Bella was happy to help. 

She snagged the two boys after collecting Frodo from his kindergarten classroom, and they walked across the street for soft-serve ice cream before returning to the library. Bella finished preparing her lesson for the next day, cutting out sections of tissue paper for lava, while the kids did homework. She had just started to put away the last of the returned books when she caught the blur of motion on the monitor. 

Most schools had security cameras on the buildings these days, and ninety-nine percent of them were fake or not connected to anything. The ones at the Shire School, grades K-6, however had fully functional ones, though Bella was the only one who knew that. She had wired everything back to the library in the case of an event just like this. 

The question was, were the five armed men here for the Web-Cutter or for some other reason? 

“Go into my office and call your uncle,” she told Fili. “Tell him I need reinforcements as soon as possible. If he doesn’t answer, call Gandalf. The number is next to the phone.” 

A too old soul looked out of Fili’s hazel eyes. “Yes ma’am. Should I lock the door?”

“I’ll be right behind you,” she said, smiling reassuringly at them. “We’ll build a fort under my desk.” 

They hurried off and Bella checked the video feed. 

The men moved like they knew what they were doing. One to cover every exit, guns held low and tight to their bodies. There was no way she could lock the doors before they reached them, and it wouldn’t matter if she could. The doors were all glass meant to bring in light, not keep out gunmen. 

Her office was the only part of the airy, bright library that would afford them any protection. In the center of the room, it had no windows and one sturdy door. The walls were brick and layers thick. It was the tornado shelter for the library, but any port in a storm…

Bella hit the emergency button beneath the circulation desk before heading into the office. That would alert the campus security so they could keep other students from accidentally walking into danger. 

She would never forgive herself if the men were here for her. She had sworn she would keep her kids safe. 

Once the door was locked behind her, Bella joined the boys beneath her monstrosity of a desk. It was modeled after the Resolute desks in the White House and Buckingham Palace, so there was plenty of room underneath for all of them. If it had been a hair lighter, she would have pushed it to barricade the door. 

As it was, Bella had to rely on other defense mechanisms. 

“Uncle’s on his way,” Fili informed her. “He says we just need to give him ten minutes.” 

That might be a stretch, but it was better than she had hoped. 

“Not a problem.” She smiled brightly. “Want to help me?” 

The three of them crowded close as Bella tapped a few button so n her tablet screen. A cartoon version of the library floor plan appeared along with the five men represented by Pac Men ghosts. 

“What we need to do,” Bella explained as the first man slipped inside, “is to keep them busy. So we use things like banana peels and turtle shells to stop them from reaching the center. Just like in your video games.” 

Bofur, who had helped her set up the library, had coded this app for her. The intruders’ positions were determined by infrared sensors in the bookcases and relayed to her tablet. Hidden dart guns and other traps littered the library, activated only on her command to keep a student from accidentally tripping them. Given Bofur’s rather twisted mind, Bella wouldn’t be surprised to find the banana peels were real and rigged to explode once stepped upon.

Having given the board careful consideration, Kili dragged a dart icon to the man approaching from the left. PERMISSION TO FIRE appeared on the screen. He clicked YES. 

Bella twisted to see the real time video feed on her desktop monitor, careful to keep the kids from seeing it. 

As the short and stumpy man strode past the shelves, a thin blow dart barrel eased out between the Goosebumps series. It was about hip height on the man and he never so much as glanced down. Once he hit the laser trip wire Kili’s selection had activated, the gun waited three seconds and fired. 

A needle embedded into the man’s thigh. He didn’t seem to notice. 

Had the toxin expired? Maybe it hadn’t reached his skin? 

Two steps later, the man went down and didn’t get back up. The ghost on the screen disappeared. 

“Nicely done!” She high-fived Kili. “Next? Quickly, now.” 

The system could only handle one thing at a time—a big handicap when four men drew closer and closer. 

Fili scrunched his nose and clicked on a turtle shell for the man in the back. 

“Classic,” she and Frodo agreed, drawing a smile from the serious boy. 

It was a great strategic move. Take out the attackers in the back before the ones in the front realized they were in trouble. 

The turtle shell turned out to be quite literal. The display of aquatic life decorating the far wall that Bifur had given her when she first started at the school vomited forth a bowling ball sized chunk of coquina—crushed shells, lime, and sand that made a thick, hard substance used as cannonball-proof fort walls—slammed into the man’s temple. This one didn’t make it a step before he too collapsed without a sound. 

Without prompting, Frodo selected a cloud symbol and placed it over the middle man. They heard a soft hiss as the fire extinguisher nozzle came to life on the wall. The man stared at it, almost firing his gun on instinct at the sound, and got covered in gray foam. On contact with the air, it turned into a dense coating. The man couldn’t move. His gun disappeared in the cloud. 

Bella grinned. That one had been her idea. Uncle Radagast had helped her develop it, so it also put out fires and wouldn’t hurt the books. 

Before she could make her selection, the last two men reached the office door. A polite knock came a minute later. 

“Ma’am, we know you’re in there. We wish no harm to you. Simply give us the two boys and we’ll leave you alive,” one man called. 

“What are you going to do to them?” Bella called before lowering her voice. “we just need to keep them talking. I’m going to put you somewhere safe and you run until you find Thorin, alright? I won’t let anything happen to any of you.” 

“We can fight!’ Kili said though he was white with fear. “Uncle taught us.” 

“Give ‘em the ole one-two!” Frodo nodded enthusiastically. 

“We won’t leave you!” Fili said. 

She looked at all of them silently and they nodded in defeat after a moment. “Good.” 

“Nothing undue, ma’am,” the man called. “Our boss just wants to talk with them.” 

Bella glanced at the video feed. One of them had backed up to kick the door and both cocked their guns. 

Damn it! 

“Come here, quickly!” Bella whispered. She jumped on her desk and picked up Fili to put on her shoulders. She stood underneath the air vent. “Pull off the grate and climb inside.” 

He did and she pushed his feet up to let him catch the lip. Frodo reached her next. As Fili pulled him inside, she called to the man, “promise you won’t hurt them?” 

They paused long enough for her to throw Kili up and reattach the vent cover. 

“Crawl forward. It will take you to the roof. Wait until you see Thorin. It’s all going to be okay. I’ll be right behind you,” she said. She waited until she heard them shuffle forward before she went to answer the door. 

Bella would face down a thousand guns before she let anyone touch her kids. 

Jumping off the desk, she swiveled the monitor to watch for the police, and stepped up next to door. She picked up the heaviest thing she could, an Oxford English dictionary, and braced herself. 

“Open the door, ma’am.” 

She stayed quiet. 

Blaring sirens shattered the cautious calm as a string of police cars steamrolled into the parent pickup lane. Bella was relieved for all of a second before her door exploded inward. 

Shards of wood sliced across her arms and face. They had shattered the door. One man came in first, gun held out before him. She swung the book, bringing it down hard on his wrist. It knocked the gun from his grasp. The weapon clattered away behind the desk. 

Both dove for it as the second man entered the room. Bella launched herself forward, but thick fingers wrapped around her ankle and pulled her back. Kicking and clawing, she fought the man as he dragged her beneath him. He was too strong for her. He grabbed her by the hair and slammed her head into the tile. 

“Where are they?” he roared. 

Blood filled her mouth as she bit her tongue. Black stars danced across her vision. Bella spat to the side. “Go to hell.” 

“Already there, bitch. Now you’re coming with me.” He slapped her hard enough she blacked out for a moment. 

When she blinked the world back into focus, she was staring down the barrel of a gun. 

 

 

 

 

“Uncle!” The cry came over the sound of the sirens and Thorin’s own panic. 

Looking around wildly, he finally spotted Fili, Kili, and Frodo waving frantically at him from the library roof. Thorin raced over and caught them one at a time as they jumped. “Are you hurt?” 

They were pale and shaking, but they all said they were fine. He held his nephews close, battling against the black edge of fear. He could face down terrorists and serial killers without blinking, but ever since Fili had called him asking for help, Thorin had been near panicked. 

“Auntie’s in there!” Frodo cried, clutching at his hand. “With two bad men!” 

Thorin crouched to hug him. “I’m going to get her. She’ll be fine.” 

“Promise you’ll bring her back?” he whispered. 

“I promise. I need you to be brave for her and wait out here. Can you do that?” 

Frodo nodded, though he kept a hold of Thorin. 

He held him a minute longer before gently disentangling himself. The SWAT team was here, and they needed to move before this became a hostage situation. “Good man. I’ll be back with Bella in five minutes. You can time me.” It would give Frodo something to hold on to. 

Thorin waved over an officer to watch the kids, took the bulletproof vest Dwalin handed him, and led the way inside the library. If anything happened to Bella…

It was like walking through a house of horrors. One man was frozen in concrete, another was going blue as though poisoned, and there was a blood-smeared rock in the aisle. What the fuck had happened here? 

They reached the center office and saw a kicked in the door. All of his training and logic threatened to go out the windows when Thorin saw the soles of Bella’s heels on the floor as she grappled with a man. Another man stood over her, gun trained on her head. 

“Tell us where they are!” the man with the gun demanded. “Tell us where you hid the boys!” 

The boys? They were after his nephews? 

Thorin was going to kill these men. Slowly. 

“Alright!” Bella shrieked. “Look over here.” 

The bottoms of her feet disappeared and the men slowly backed away from her. 

“See that slit in the wall?” 

Thorin and Dwalin crept closer, the SWAT team on their heels. If Bella knew they were here, she’d try to make the men turn their backs. He reached the office door and peered inside. 

Bella had indeed led the two men to the opposite wall. White and taut, she nevertheless sounded almost calm. When she turned her head, Thorin saw blood tricking from her split lip and a cut on her cheek as though a ring had caught her soft skin. 

It took all of his willpower not to shoot the men where they stood. Only the thought that Bella had been through enough today stayed his hand. 

“What’s this?” one man demanded. 

Bella eased away. “Well, that’s where they went. I transformed them into Liliputians and they fit in the crack.” 

“You lying bitch!” 

Bella dove for cover. 

Thorin, Dwalin, and the rest of the team blasted into the room. “Police! Drop your weapons!” 

The two men hesitated, but slowly lowered their guns. Dwalin quickly confiscated them while the men slapped them in handcuffs. As they were forced out, Thorin helped Bella off the floor. 

Green eyes almost gray with fear met his. “The kids! Are they safe? Did you-“ 

“All three are fine and asking for you,” he said immediately. 

Bella clutched his arm and rested her head briefly on his chest. “Oh, thank goodness!” 

Thorin holstered his gun and pulled her into his arms. He shook almost as much as Bella did. If she hadn’t been with the boys…if he hadn’t gotten here so quickly…

“Thirty seconds and then we pull ourselves together for the kids," he murmured. 

She buried his face in the crook of his neck and shook so violently, he was afraid she would shatter. “I h-hate guns.” 

“You were fine the other night with the valet.” Thorin ran his hand down her back, trying to reassure her. 

“I wasn’t s-stuck s-staring into it. And I had an escape plan,” she said. “This was too much like…” 

“Like what?” 

Bella shook her head. “Thank you for coming.” 

“I’ll always come to help, Bella. When I saw the three of them and not you…” He held her tighter. “I hate that you were in danger because of me! That my nephews are targets because of me.” 

She pulled back enough to meet his gaze. “No, Thorin. This isn’t your fault. A corrupt twisted man is behind this, not you. If he had picked any other family, every person would be dead by now, but we have you. Your family survives and can live their lives because of you. Don’t ever let Smaug make you doubt that we want you in our lives.” 

How did she always know what to say?

More than that, how could she always see the best of him, the best of a situation?

She was a light Thorin was rapidly coming to realize he couldn’t do without. 

He brushed a gentle kiss over her mouth. “I won’t let this happen again. Between your precautions and mine, no one will come within a mile radius of you.” 

Bella collapsed against him. “I’ll take that. They came too close to the boys.” 

“To all of you,” he agreed. “Well, I promised Frodo I’d have you back in five minutes and I’m a man of my word.” 

When she couldn’t make her legs hold her up right away, Thorin swept her into his arms. He only put her down when they reached the outside doors. As her feet hit the floor, she blanked her face and squared her shoulders. 

All three kids rushed her, escaping the restraining arms of the cops, and Frodo erupted into tears. 

It was a long time before everyone was soothed and Bella could give her statement. Thorin helped clear and process the scene, keeping one eye on her and the kids. Half of him was sure that if he lost sight of them, they would vanish for good. 

Dis arrived just as Gandalf convinced Bella to let the paramedics look at her cuts. His sister let out a screech only dogs could hear, and tackled her sons. She alternated between demands for information and self-recriminations. 

“Dis!” he said loudly when the boys began to go blue from a lack of air. “Dis, everyone is okay. They boys were actually safer staying here with Bella to protect them. If you had picked them up on schedule, the mercenaries would have just rammed your car.” 

In hindsight, this was not the most reassuring thing to have said, but Dis didn’t notice. She grabbed the boys’ hands and hurried over to Bella. She embraced the other woman in tears. 

“Thank you! Thank you! I don’t know-“ 

“Hush, Dis. It’s alright.” Bella patted her back. “I’d do anything for Fili and Kili, you know that.” 

“Anything you need, you call me.” Dis wiped her eyes with the handkerchief Bella handed her. “Dinner tonight at the very least.” 

Frodo perked up at the mention of food, making Bella laugh. 

Thorin didn’t think he’d ever heard a sweeter sound. 

“And if my brother never pulls his head out of its deep, dark cavern to ask, consider marrying me. We’d be unstoppable,” Dis said. 

She hadn’t exactly whispered it and there were enough cops nearby that most of them heard. 

About ten evil grins were turned on Thorin. 

Great. He had just cleared his desk of the photoshopped calendars. This was going to be so much worse. 

When they had finally figured out what had happened, carried off the intruders to the hospital, and cleared away the media, Thorin felt his adrenaline wane. He was suddenly, viciously, tired. 

And hollow. 

Bella had stayed with him long enough to gather her wits and reassure him she was alright, but she hadn’t so much as glanced at him since. Not when the paramedics cleaned her cuts, not when Gandalf questioned her, not when she produced snacks from her bag and coaxed the kids to eat something. 

It hurt to think that she didn’t need him as much as he needed her. 

Anger at his inability to protect her and his family turned into anger at Bella. It was wrong and petty, but it gave him the strength to walk over to where she sat with Dis and the kids. 

He held out a hand to her, slightly mollified when she took it without hesitation. Leading her around the corner of the building so they could have some semblance of privacy, he noticed again that she kept her gaze on the ground. 

It wasn’t until they were alone that she looked up. As he watched, her careful calm shattered. Tears slid from her eyes and she pressed against him, wrapping her arms around his neck. 

His anger shifted to an acute ache. That was why she didn’t look at him. Because she needed to be strong for Frodo. The trust she put in him to let him see her vulnerable humbled him. 

In that moment, he would have burned the world if it meant watching it burn would make Bella smile. 

“I’m sorry,” she sobbed. “I promise, I’m fine.” 

“I’ve got you, darling,” he murmured. “I’ve got you.” 

Slowly her tears eased. “I’m alright. Nothing broken or shot.” 

“You’ve had to reassure me too many times lately. I hate this Bella! What the fuck is the point of being a goddamn Ranger and cop if I can’t keep you safe!” he exploded. Thorin lifted her into his arms, and coaxed her legs around his waist so he could hold her full against him. He wrapped a hand in her hair and rested his forehead on hers. 

Bella took a shaky breath and tried to sound calm. “You keep thousands safe, Thorin, and—“

“But not you, Bella! It’s you they hurt, you! Never fucking again.” He tipped up her chin and kissed her with all the desperation in his bones. 

The kiss went on and on, deep and fierce. Thorin slid his hands beneath her blouse. The heat of her skin made him groan. She was so damn soft. 

Thorin turned so her back hit the brick. He wanted to celebrate her safety in the most elemental way possible. He wanted to claim her, mark her as his so no one would ever dare hurt her again. 

But if he did that, he’d have to arrest them both for indecent exposure. 

Bella moaned as he wrenched his mouth away. She rolled her hips against the thick bulge in his trousers. “Thorin…we have absolutely horrible timing.” 

He choked out a laugh. “We’ll just have to practice until we get it right, I guess.” 

A reluctant smile curled her mouth. “That doesn’t sound so bad.” 

After one last kiss, he let her feet hit the ground. “Come with us tonight. You and Frodo. We won't do anything you don’t want, but… Let me just hold you tonight, Bella, please.” 

The thought of facing the night without her close sounded like the sixth level of hell. Waking up and not being able to reassure himself he had been in time. That she was still safe, still smiling. 

Her deep green gaze searched his before she smiled. 

“I’d like nothing more,” she said softly and held out a hand he readily took.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was on a roll last week! However, I have a few trips and family obligations coming up, so no promises on how soon I'll be able to update next.  
> As always, let me know what you think! Bella and Thorin are making some big strides, it seems, in their relationship. Also, can you tell I love Gulliver's Travels?


	15. An Abundance of Tubas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few moments of calm in Bella and Thorin's life. Mostly fluff but edging toward plot.

Braiding her thick hair so it wouldn’t strangle her in her sleep, Bella padded out of the bathroom into the bedroom Dis had proclaimed hers for the night. She wore an Arnor PD shirt that came down to her knees since she had only had time to grab things for Frodo at Bag End when they stopped. Her little cousin hadn’t wanted her out of his sight for long, so she had raced around the house, grabbing whatever she could.

Now Frodo slept in her bed while she showered. Sauron curled around his head, his ginger fur bright against the navy blue sheets. Somehow the two of them managed to take up 90% of the king sized bed. 

Shaking her head on a smile, Bella tucked the covers tighter around him and made herself a bed on the floor. If he woke up during the night, Frodo could easily see her and she could reach him in seconds. 

“Hey.” Thorin slipped into the room and came to her on silent feet. He smiled when he saw Frodo sprawled across the bed. “Dis is doing the same with the boys. Do you have enough pillows?” 

Bella considered her nest. “One or two more wouldn’t hurt.” 

“I’ll be right back.” Thorin stole a kiss before he retreated, leaving her a little breathless and a little dazed. 

“Dayum,” she muttered. If his response to danger was to kiss her senseless at every opportunity—behind the pantry door, on the front steps, around the corner from Dis’s watchful eye—she would pay the mercenaries herself. 

Though she wanted to hope and believe this would last, Bella took a wait and see attitude toward her relationship with Thorin. Either they built a foundation of trust to weather whatever Smaug would undoubtedly throw their way, or they didn’t. Rushing things wouldn’t help, and neither would worrying. A wonderfully complex man wanted her and she would enjoy that as long as she could. 

And if he kept looking at her with enough heat to scorch her bones, Bella would take matters into her own hands and give him ample reason to stay with her. 

Laden with pillows, Thorin returned a few minutes later and helped her arrange them on the floor. When she laid down, he hesitated, not wanting to crowd her. Bella was having none of that, thank you very much. She grabbed his hand and tugged him down next to her. Thorin wrapped himself around her, pulling her back flush with his chest. He nuzzled her neck and shared her pillow. 

“Sleep, darling,” he murmured. “We’re all safe and sound.” 

Bella threaded her fingers through his on her stomach. “Will you sleep, too?” 

“I think I might just.” 

“Excellent.” She was already half asleep. “I forbid you from having a sleepless night.” 

He chuckled. “Forbid me, huh?” 

“Mhmm. I’m mean.” 

Holding her tight, Thorin smiled against her temple. “My little tyrant.” 

“They’re building a statue of me any day now. They’ll put it right next to yours.” 

“Perfect.” He kissed her cheek, and they both dropped off. 

 

Delicious smells wafted from the kitchen as Dis woke up the next morning. She rubbed at her eyes and saw her boys had already gotten up. After her morning ablutions and exchanging pajamas for clothes, Dis followed the beguiling scents, half convinced this was a dream. Never before in all her years of living with her brother or even her late husband, had she woken up to breakfast already made, not even on Mother’s Day. Given their culinary skills, that was more of a blessing than a curse. 

When she peeked into the kitchen, she saw the origin of the scents: stuffed French toast, bacon, fruit, roast potatoes, and eggs. 

This was definitely a dream. 

Dis almost stepped into the kitchen when a sound sent her back into the shadows. Instinct told her she didn’t want to announce her presence just yet. 

Sure enough, two seconds later, Bella came into view, her hair loose and a smile on her face, closely followed by Thorin who picked her up, set her on the counter, and kissed her as though lips were going out of style. 

Dis blinked rapidly, but the scene didn’t change. 

Was this real? Thorin hated public displays of affection. Granted, this was their house, but Dis was here and so were the kids, and her brother would never have done more than kiss his girlfriend’s cheek when others were nearby. 

My, my. Dis grinned. This was very interesting indeed. 

“Mama.” Kili came up behind her, Fili and Frodo on his heels. “Is it breakfast time?” 

The kids tried to look around her into the kitchen. 

“Oh no.” She clapped her hands over their eyes and shoved Frodo behind her. The play at school had scarred them enough. No need to add to the problem. 

Clearing her throat, Dis raised her voice. “I’m hungry too, boys. Shall we go see what’s in the kitchen?” 

“Uh…Ma?” Fili asked. “That’s what we’re trying to do.” 

She risked another look in the kitchen. Bella was back on her feet and working at the stove, and Thorin watched her in darting glances as he set the table. 

Whipped. Completely whipped.

Dis couldn’t help but snicker as she and the boys sat down. 

She was going to have fun with this. 

 

 

Dishing up a little piece of everything for Frodo and cutting up the toast into manageable bites, Bella made sure everyone had food before she started on the meal herself. Funny how life threatening situations made her ravenously hungry and utterly exhausted all at once. 

“Mahal above, this is good!” Dis said through a mouthful of toast. “Your next boyfriend will have to exercise like crazy to stay fit if you cook him meals like this all the time.” 

Bella hid a smile behind her glass of orange juice as Thorin shot his sister a warning glance. “I don’t mind if my man puts on a little weight, as long as he doesn’t blame me for it, because I love to cook.” 

“How very not shallow of you,” Dis said. “If being a librarian ever doesn’t work out, you can become a personal chef.” 

“I thought about it, but clients can be crazy. My friend Bombur is a personal chef for some interesting people. The stories he tells.” 

“Uncle Bombur makes the best bikinis!” Frodo piped up. “Doesn’t he, Auntie?” 

Bella bit the inside of her cheek hard to keep from laughing. “Blinis, dear, and yes he does.” 

“Can we make some, Auntie?”

“For second breakfast? Absolutely.” 

Thorin blinked. “What’s second breakfast?” 

“Exactly what it sounds like. Sometimes Frodo and I can’t make it between breakfast and lunch, so we have a second breakfast.” She shrugged. “Blinis with raspberry jam are a standard at Bag End.” 

“How do you eat like you do and look like you do?” he wondered. 

“Good genetics?” she guessed. 

“Don’t waste those genetics on just any guy,” Dis put in. “Find someone who will appreciate that.” 

What was her friend up to? Bella narrowed her eyes at Dis, but the older woman just steamrolled ahead. 

“Do you remember me mentioning our cousin, Dain? He’s a strong and confident type. Though he can be a bit of a trial at times and is married to his work, I think you two might hit it off.” 

“Does he speak French?” Bella asked. 

“I don’t think so.” 

Bella shrugged. “I don’t date men who don’t speak French.” Deep blue eyes smiled at her before Thorin returned to glaring at his sister. 

“Pass the bacon, please,” Fili broke the strange conversation. 

Apparently Bella needed to corner her friend and figure out why she was suddenly against Bella and Thorin dating. 

Unless…

Thorin hadn’t told Dis they were dating. Bella had hinted at it at their lunch this week, but she thought Thorin would want to tell her first. 

With that cat in the cream look, Dis must know, however, and felt compelled to toy with her brother until he cracked. 

Oh, boy. 

Breakfast finished without further incident, but the gleam in Dis’s eye didn’t bode well for Bella or Thorin.

Especially Thorin. 

Deciding to leave them to it, Bella collected Frodo and their things, making the Durins promise to come by Bag End before they all went to the Hobbiton Autumn Extravaganza. She had bets on which sibling would still be alive by tonight. 

Well, kissing Thorin had been nice while it had lasted. Maybe she’d see him again in the afterlife. 

 

 

Thorin was going to kill his sister. All afternoon and all the way to Hobbiton, Dis kept up a steady stream of suggestions to Bella about potential dates. The men included every single male member of their extended family and ran the gamut to her hairdresser’s son and the guy on the corner spinning a sign. 

Pulling into Bella’s driveway, he let the kids out of the car and turned to his sister. “Dis, what the hell?” 

Her almost believable innocent face looked up from her purse. “Whatever do you mean, brother dearest?” 

“Stop that. What do you suddenly have against Bella and I dating? You were all for it yesterday.” 

“Well, sure, but I don’t want her to waste time while you get your head on straight. Bella is a very desirable woman, and I worry about her taking on so much on her own.” 

Thorin rolled his eyes. “You know very well that Bella and I are together.” 

“I do not! Neither of you bothered to tell me. Well, Bella seemed like she wanted to, but you, dear brother, are about as good at sharing as a mime.” 

“Well, we are together. Stop trying to set her up with other men,” Thorin said. He threw an arm around her for a quick hug. “I didn’t mean to hide it from you. Things last week were just insane.” 

He had spent most of his time tracking down leads with Dwalin on the unsolved murder cases, but, while they had circumstantial proof they all tied back to Smaug, they couldn’t get anything concrete to save their lives. The rest of his time had been tied up with making sure Bella never had to worry about her psycho ex again, and interrogating the man they had captured at the library. So far, that was another dead end, but Thorin thought he might soon crack and give them something. 

Dis softened slightly. “I know. You’ve been so concerned about the boys. But it wouldn’t have killed you to mention it.” 

“Noted.” 

“So, are you together together or are you just having fun with her?” Dis continued. “Because if the latter, I will have to break out my baseball bat. Bella is my friend and both of you deserve better.” 

He glanced at his sister, trying to gauge her dedication to the baseball bat idea. One memory from his childhood told him she probably would. Though both he and Frerin would have more than happily beat up any school tormentors for her, Dis had taken her bat on the bus one day and chased Bugsy around the playground until he called uncle. 

“Thorin,” she threatened when he said nothing. 

“Yes, we are together together.” Well, that’s what he was thinking. They hadn’t really talked about it yet. 

“Excellent!” Dis beamed. “Oh, this is going to be good! She can come over for dinner and Frodo is such an angel. Thank Mahal your room has soundproofing. Something about her makes me think she is a screamer. Man, I wish I had a man again to make me scream.” She sighed. 

And on that note, Thorin was going to run and scrub out his ears. There were some things he didn’t need to know about his sister. 

Dis’s cackle followed him down to the door. 

“Hey.” Bella met him at the door, the boys already lost in the labyrinth of her house. 

What was meant to be a soft brush of lips turned into Bella pressed up against the wall, her tongue tangling with his when Thorin caught a whiff of her gentle perfume and his control disappeared. Sleeping next to her last night had been its own sort of wonderful torture. He had actually gotten some sleep, a miracle in and of itself, but only after having three thousand fantasies about the woman next to him that continued in his dreams. 

“Hmm. I like this way of saying hello,” Bella whispered against his lips. “What will you do for a ‘how are you’?” 

He chuckled and set her down on her feet. “Ask me that when the kids aren’t around.” 

“Noted. Come on in. We’re almost ready to go.” 

They had the boys wrapped in sweaters and scarves and mittens before they all trooped outside. Bella tucked her arm in the crook of Thorin’s elbow and led the way to the green space in the middle of the hamlet. 

The townspeople they passed called hello as everyone swarmed to the square. The evening was crisp and clear, the idea of a bonfire cheering everyone up. Stands dotted the edge of the square selling caramel apples, warm cider, and treats. They passed a uniformed group of teenagers who were attempting to stand in neat rows but due to an abundance of tubas, they couldn’t stand close enough to manage. 

“That’s the high school band,” Bella explained. “They always play the town’s song at the festival.” 

“Why are there so many tubas?” Thorin peered closer. “Is it all tubas?” 

“No, of course not. What kind of band would that be? They also have a piccolo, clarinet, and saxophone player. Oh, and a drummer.” 

“Does one person play all of those instruments?” 

“The clarinet player is one person. The other has a rig like an oompa band.” 

Thorin did a double take before he caught himself. He glanced back down to see Bella’s smirking at him. “Yeah, you got me.” 

She rose onto her toes to kiss his cheek. “You’re cute when you’ve been had. No, really, they have a few other instruments, but apparently we have short genes in this community and the band kids wanted to make an impression that their height just couldn’t manage. Hence the large contingent of tubas.” 

“That must make for some interesting songs.” 

“I believe that the conductor had to throw out have the original version of the town song because it had too many fortes,” she said. “Broke five eardrums when they played it.” 

That sounded too much like the play horrors from earlier that Thorin made a strategic decision to steer everyone away from the band. “So when do they light the fire?” 

“Oh, supposedly at seven, but it won’t be until nine.” 

“How do you know?” 

Bella smiled. “This town is endearingly quirky, always surprising, and always predictable.” 

“That makes no sense.” 

“That is Hobbiton.” 

They all had caramel apples before the bell rang and Frodo tugged them all forward to see the bonfire. 

The mayor, or the Thain, as he was apparently called, stepped up to a podium and cleared his throat. “Welcome, welcome! It is lovely to see everyone out here enjoying this beautiful night. This celebration has happened for seventy-three years, and may I say, it gets better every year!” 

Everyone clapped. 

“Now, let us light our bonfire and enjoy the party! Be sure to take a present on your way out.” 

“A present?” Dis asked as the boys perked up. 

“It’s a Hobbiton tradition. If you hold a party, you give your guests a gift to remember that parties should be about relationship and memories, not greed,” Bella explained. “Every time the town gets together, they hand out little trinkets, mostly for the kids, to continue this tradition.” 

“I like it. Maybe we should institute that in our family,” Dis said. “What do you think, boys? You give away some of your stuff instead of accumulating more to clean.” 

They suddenly became very interested in their apples. 

“So how are they lighting the fire?” Thorin asked. 

“Cousin Took brings the flame!” Frodo said. “He runs from the old fountain where the battle started and brings it here. Just like Great-great uncle Algie!” 

Bella explained at their blank looks. “On the Took side of our family, one of our ancestors helped to found the town during the Battle of Greenfields. He lit a torch and ran for two miles to light a bonfire here to show the reinforcements where to arrive. After the battle, the soldiers realized this was a nice place to settle, and hence the city was born.” 

“Tell them about golf and Bullroarer!” 

Thorin hid a smile. He and Bella had never resolved their discussion about how the game originated. He was glad to see Frodo was following in family tradition. 

A young man appeared at the far end of the street, a flaming torch in his hand. He waved and schmoozed up the crowd as he ran, more concerned with smiling at women than he was with fire safety. 

Bella leaned down and picked Frodo up. He wrapped his small arms around her neck. She rubbed the tip of her nose against his. “What do you think?” 

“Ice!” 

“Ooh, that’s a good one. Classic. I’m going to say shoelace.” 

“It was his shoelace last year, Auntie!” he said. 

“Drat. So it was.” She thought for a moment. “Slingshot.” 

Everyone turned to stare at her. 

“I saw Everard holding one. He’s a little trigger happy with that when it comes to messing up his cousin.” She shrugged. 

“What are you two talking about?” Dis asked. 

Bella and Frodo exchanged a knowing glance. “Wait and see.” 

And with smiles like that, it wasn’t at all alarming. 

The young Took cousin waved furiously as he neared the pile of wood. The crowd cheered and oohed as the flame danced and spun atop the torch. 

Tubas blaring full force on every downbeat, the high school band revved the atmosphere higher. The kids went red in the face as they puffed on their instruments, the melody just held together by the conductor. 

“Wait for it…wait for it…,” Bella muttered. 

Young Took was ten feet from the bonfire when it happened. He did a spin to add to his seduction of a fetching young woman. His foot slipped out from under her and he wobbled. With a resounding crunch, his face met the pavement. 

The torch flew out of his hand. It spun in perfect cartwheels through the darkening twilight. Two feet from the bonfire. It might make it!

Thump! 

Straight into the punch bowl, the torch landed with a splash and went out without a whimper. 

The whole town groaned. The Thain thundered for an investigation into the lighting committee and asked if anyone had matches. 

“We can’t light it with matches!” A man piped up. 

“Hamfast Gamgee,” Bella whispered. 

“It’s tradition to light it with a torch that starts near the fountain!” Hamfast bellowed. 

“Is it also tradition to freeze to death while we wait for another torch?” the Thain said. 

Frodo beamed at them. “I won! He slipped on the ice!” 

“It’s not that cold out. How can there be ice?” Dis frowned. 

“A question for the ages, but if there could somehow be ice, Ferdinand would find it,” Bella said. She hugged Frodo and set him on the ground. “Alright, an extra apple for winning.” 

Bella ended up buying six apples for the boys and the three others that came over who were Frodo’s friends. Dis said she’d watch them since she was so enjoying the argument between Hamfast and the Thain, so Thorin wrapped an arm around Bella’s waist and took the opportunity to have her all to himself for a few moments. 

“Shall I take you on a tour of the town?” She leaned into him. 

“Sounds great.” 

She hooked her fingers into the belt loops and tugged him to the right. “You know, rumor has it that there are several, secluded areas in this town.” 

“A person could get up to a lot of trouble in secluded areas on a night like tonight,” he mused. 

“Exactly, and since you are a cop, I feel that it is your professional obligation to investigate them.” 

He chuckled and nipped the curve of her ear. “Good point. Who knows what might happen in such places? I think we should check them all out.” 

A strange feeling settled over him as they wandered about the town. It took him a long time to realize what it was. He was happy. 

Thorin was happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a horrible person for taking so long to update. I apologize! I have no excuse beyond traveling and a horrible case of writer's block.  
> Nothing terribly exciting happened in this chapter, I know, but I hope you enjoyed a few happy moments with our favorite characters! And a very fun Dis. 
> 
> As always, let me know what you think!


	16. Staircase to Heaven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bella and Thorin have a conversation. It ends with a promise and rumors of a screaming ghost in the rafters of the Green Dragon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some NSFW in this chapter!

“This is the bed and breakfast for the town.” Bella nodded to the left as she and Thorin strolled through Hobbiton. “They make the best lobster this side of Maine, and they sell antiques out of the top floors.”

“So where do the guests sleep?”

“Oh, no. It says it’s a bed and breakfast, but that’s just because they never bothered to change the sign and we all refer to it that way. The hotel in town is over there.”

“The mechanic's?”

Now that she was describing this, Hobbiton did sound a little odd. “It used to be a mechanic’s. Now it’s a hotel. But we like to refer to things as they used to be, I suppose. It only changed over about twenty-five years or so ago.”

“Only.” He rolled his eyes. “What about that? Is the tavern now your barber shop?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. A pub would never have any reason to leave. Beer is sacred in these parts.” She grinned. “But the back is now our pancake house, and we still know it as The Green Dragon. Great French toast too.”

Thorin snorted. “As long they still serve beer, I guess I can’t quibble.”

“Come on, then. I’ll buy you a pint for letting Frodo and I stay over last night.” She tugged on his arm.

They stopped in the entry way to pull off their coats and other winter accoutrements. As she turned to hang up her jacket, Thorin wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her into the coat closet. She glanced up in the dim light coming under the door, ready to tease him about teenage-like tendencies, when she saw the look on his face.

Intensity drew his expression taut and his eyes fairly burned with sapphire flame. “Bella, we need to talk.”

“Alright…”

Oh, no. Things had been going so well! But after the fiasco at the library, she couldn’t honestly blame him if he thought she was too dangerous to be around. If he tried to tell her this was to keep her safe, however, she would be the only one to leave this cupboard alive.

“Do you know what I realized when we were walking around tonight and at breakfast today?” He cupped her chin and ran his thumb over his cheek. “That this strange feeling bubbling through me is happiness. I had to actually stop and think to realize that I was happy. What that says about my adult life so far is not particularly pleasant, but that’s not my point.”

Okay, she was lost. He was happy, good, but he looked as though he was heading into battle, probably not good. “What is your point?”

“That you’re the reason I’m happy. You make me slow down, Bella, and breathe. You make me want to come home from the precinct and notice things other than memories or crime scene photos. I know we’ve only really had two dates, but I want you to know that whatever comes our way, for as long as you want me, I’m in.”

So convinced he was going to say the complete opposite, it took Bella several minutes to process. Feeling a breeze in her mouth, she clicked her jaw shut and cleared her throat. “What exactly does that mean? Do you just want to date or are you looking for something more?”

“I would say whatever you want, but I’m not going to hid the fact that I want something more. I want to come home to you, Bella, and be a part of Frodo’s life. We can keep taking it slow if that is more comfortable, but yes, eventually, I hope that I can ask you for forever,” he said, not once dropping her gaze.

Wow.

She blinked, but he was still standing there. Not a dream or a byproduct of the festival punch.

Wow.

“Bella?”

Oh, right. Mouth should be moving. “Give me just a second.”

“Take your time. I didn’t mean to ambush you, but I didn’t want to wait. You and I have a terrible habit of finding trouble before we have a chance to be alone.” He smiled a little wryly.

Her mouth quirked. That they did.

Thinking back over his words only increased her shock. “Did you just propose to me?”

Thorin’s teeth flashed in the dim lighting. “Judging by the tone of horror, I’m guessing you’re hoping the answer will be no.”

“No, it’s not that. Shocked, yes. I…what? Thorin!” She closed her eyes to refocus. “Clarify, please.”

He brought her hands to his mouth for a kiss. “I didn’t propose to you, not exactly.”

She cracked open one eye. “That’s not clarification.”

“I haven’t proposed, yet, but I do hope that one day we’ll be at the point where I can ask.”

Wow.

Well, that was definitely a clarification.

Curling her hands in the front of his shirt, Bella took a minute to figure out what she was going to say. “You know, simply saying that you wanted more than just another date would have answered my question, and this…proposals, or even almost proposals should not happen in coat closets! They should have baskets of wildflowers and perfect music and…and…slow dancing beneath the Northern Lights!”

“You’re right, I’m sorry,” Thorin said, though laughter lurked in his tone.

Thumping him on the arm made her feel better. “I’m serious!”

“Sorry, sorry. I take back my almost proposal.”

“You can’t take it back!” She whacked him again. “Can I finish?”

“Please.” He inclined his head.

“Thank you. I love that you wanted to clarify this, and that you want this to become a permanent thing.”

Thorin was silent for a moment. “But?”

Bella rose onto her toes to kiss him. “No but. I want that too.”

“Thank Mahal.” He walked her back against the wall.

Before Bella could blink away the jacket sleeves and dust, Thorin’s mouth crashed down on hers. Linking her arms around his neck, she gave herself over to him. He teased her mouth open and his taste had her moaning for more. Coffee, whiskey, and something uniquely Thorin that went straight to her head.

His thigh slid between her legs, urging her up against the ridge in his pants. Bella rolled her hips, the sweet friction erasing the last of her inhibitions about being in a public coat closet. She wanted Thorin, all of him, and she wanted him now.

Apparently he felt the same way. Clever fingers opened her cardigan and pulled up the hem of her shirt without him ending the kiss. He splayed a warm hand on her stomach. Bella leaned into the touch and slipped her hands under his button down.

“Bella. Darling.” He wrenched his mouth away, panting. “Fuck, I want you so bad.”

“I’m right here, Thorin.”

Their mouths almost touched when he suddenly backed away. “No, damn it. We’re going to do this right. Is there a room somewhere nearby? I don’t want any interruptions. We have a while until our families come looking.”

Struggling against the haze of lust to think, Bella ran through her mental map of the Green Dragon. “There is a room upstairs. It has a meeting room you can rent out and then a staircase up to a small room that they use for storage.”

“Perfect.”

Bella readjusted her clothing before Thorin took her hand. He didn’t look either right or left as they made for the staircase. People dove out of the way after one glance at his face. He was a man on a mission.

Once they made it up the first set of stairs, Bella snuck in a quick kiss. She loved the way his eyes softened when he glanced at her. They were alone for the moment, so she figured she could steal one.

What she hadn’t taken into account was how fragile a hold Thorin had on his control. Before she could blink, he had ripped off her shirt and claimed her mouth.

Fitting his hands under her ass, he lifted her up and set her on the railing of the spiral staircase leading up to the top room. He shoved up her skirt and swore as he realized her tights were thigh-highs. “Fucking Mahal, you are killing me.”

Bella managed a ragged chuckle. “Is this a bad time to mention that I have a lingerie habit? I’m a sucker for lace.”

He groaned. “Next time, Bella, I am going to savor every inch of you.”

“I like the sound of that.” She pushed at his shirt until Thorin ripped it off.

That intense gaze swept over her, so much hunger and desire stark in his face, that Bella didn’t feel the usual twinge of embarrassment that came with being naked before a man. Returning the appraisal of that strong chest, her skin grew tight and breath came in short supply as lust roared within her.

“You’re still in most of your clothes.”

“Sucks to be you, then.” He grinned and stepped between her legs for a kiss. The hard denim bulge scraped deliciously over her sensitive flesh with only the thin lace of her thong to protect her. Bella moaned into his mouth, rolling her hips.

Thorin growled back. His wicked mouth skipped and slid down her neck as deft hands found the front clasp on her bra.

“Beautiful,” he murmured, thumbs teasing her into sharp peaks.

“Thorin,” she panted.

His first lick had her shooting off the railing into his arms. He resettled her, chuckling against her breasts and continued his torment. By the time he licked his way down to her bellybutton, Bella could hardly think straight. Her core pulsed with heat, liquid drenching her thighs.

“Thorin?” She tried again when she felt those big hands under her bottom as he crouched before her.

“Yes?” He kissed the thin strip of lace, nudged it aside with his nose and thrust his tongue into her wetness.

“THORIN!”

Hands holding her hips steady, he delved into her like she was a feast spread out for his pleasure. He withdrew and circled her clit. Then, licking and nibbling, he drove her to the edge of bliss before drawing back and slowing down, just as she was about to fall over. Cursing him in every way she knew, Bella caressed his forehead.

Just as she caught her breath, he started again. Higher and higher she climbed. “Please! Yes, Thorin!”

His teeth rasped over her clit, and Bella catapulted into the orgasm, screaming and clawing at his back.

He lapped slowly as she came down from the peak, her thigh muscles jumping and twitching. Bella dragged air back into her lungs, and fought to uncurl her hands from around his head, sure she was suffocating him.

Surging to his feet, he grinned at her.

“Yeah, yeah. Your gold star is in the mail.” She laughed. “Come here.”

The salty taste of her own pleasure coated Thorin’s tongue, but she found she didn’t mind, not when her nervous system was still it up like an explosives range and he was hard and hot under her hand.

“We should really move upstairs,” he muttered. “After that scream, the police will be here soon.”

“Mhmm.” She flicked the button on his jeans and pushed them down over his lean hips. She fell off the railing to her knees. Running a palm over the bulge in his boxers, Bella grinned up at him. “My turn.”

“Uh...”

Not waiting for the thought, she freed him from the fabric. “Ooh,” she breathed. The head of his cock jerked as her breath wafted over him. He wasn’t much beyond average length, but he was thick, thicker than any other man she’d ever had, and Bella couldn’t wait to taste him.

Licking the drop of precum that glistened at the head, she swooped down, swallowing him in one rush. Hips thrusting reflexively forward, Thorin spat out a curse.

Just as she was settling into a rhythm, he tugged her up and caught her beneath the bottom. She curled her legs around him, rocking her hips closer as his cock slid through her folds. “Yes?”

“Upstairs,” he snapped. They dipped as Thorin reached down for his pants. The ripping of foil warned her before she felt his fingers beneath her. The simple brush of his knuckles was enough to send a shiver through her. When he was covered, he picked her back off the railing and started towards the first stair, her legs wrapped around his hips.

“Hmm.” She threw her head back as he slid in half an inch. Her muscles tightened reflexively around him, making them both gasp.

“Bella.” Thorin sounded slightly desperate as he took the first stair. The motion slid him further in and she redoubled the grip of her legs around his hips. “Bella, not on the stairs...”

“Now, Thorin. Fuck me hard. Please.” Whimpering, she didn’t pay attention to his words. As he took the next step, he slid out only to hammer back in as they climbed higher.

“ _Fuck_!” He set her ass on the banister and rammed his cock all the way into her. Bella gasped at the burn of her stretching muscles. When their hips were plastered together, he rested his forehead on hers. The concern in his expression made her heart skip a beat. “Are you alright, darling?”

Slowly her body adjusted to his girth and the pain receded. Clutching at his back, Bella ground onto him. “Yes! Now, _please_!”

A harsh chuckle ghosted over her skin. Then, finally, magnificently, he began to move. Each thrust was enough to knock her off the banister if she hadn’t had a death grip on his shoulders. Tilting her hips, Bella screamed as he hit the perfect spot every time. She threw back her head and convulsed.

“Bella!” Thorin rammed home and came, the feel of his peak pulsing within her, enough to lift her to another, smaller peak. They ground against each other, lost in the ecstasy.

When reality returned, Bella could barely breathe. She leaned forward to lay her head on his shoulder. “You should be illegal in every country.”

“Funny, I was going to say the same about you.” He ran a comforting hand down her back. “Mahal, Bella, I don’t know if I can survive better than that.”

Smiling the whole time they dressed and eased down the back staircase, Bella felt as though she could fly. She tucked a hand in Thorin’s arm, and they rejoined the crowd as the bonfire was finally lit.

“Blackguard!” Hamfast called over his shoulder as he shot past. He threw a caramel apple at the man chasing him.

“Get back here, Hamfast! You owe me a new waistcoat!” The Thain thundered after him.

“Waste of a good apple.” Bella sighed.

Thorin chuckled. “I like this town. You’re all crazy and everyone accepts it.”

She glanced up at him. “Well, it’s no fun being crazy on your own. Besides, it gives us good stories to tell. Like three years ago, when the Thain decided we needed a new town slogan, we had to vote on the suggestions. The one we all chose was _The Only Brew for the Brave and True Comes from the Green Dragon_. He nixed that one because he thought it might be too specific and turn away people who don’t drink. Instead, he went for _857 Friendly People & One Old Grump_. Now, each year, we hold contests for who will be our Town Grump.”

“Loonies, the lot of you.” He spun her around for a kiss.

Everyone around them laughed and started clapping. “Way to go, man! Captured the craziest and most beautiful of the lot!”

“Go boil your head, Fatty!” Bella called without looking away from Thorin.

He flashed them all a smile as he executed a perfect bow. “I think I’m going to buy a lotto ticket tomorrow while my luck holds.”

She laughed and dragged him away from the crowd. Once she could hear herself think again, she asked Thorin to spend the night at Bag End.

He kissed her temple, wrapped an arm around her waist, and said, “I’d like nothing better.”

Their bubble of happiness lasted all the way back to Dis and the kids where they saw a familiar figure sitting with them. One look at Gandalf’s face and Bella knew he wasn’t here to enjoy the festival, no matter how he smiled for the kids.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: that town motto is a real one for a town in Idaho. 
> 
> Bella and Thorin finally did it, and I make no apologies for staircase sex. Good stuff. 
> 
> I am so sorry for the delays recently. Writer's block has been a pain, but I think I have the next one outlined, so I'll do my best to get it out soon. 
> 
> Let me know what you think!


	17. Puns and Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bella is back on the job. This time in the Necromancer's Castle. She's discovering just how quickly things can go wrong...

Oh, sure. Bella just _had_ to ask Gandalf what was wrong.

Bah. She should have popped a caramel apple in his mouth and saved herself this current situation.

Hanging upside down by a rope wrapped around her ankle, Bella swung gently from side to side over a stained concrete floor. Her head pounded from the press of blood rushing down, and she could no longer feel her hands tied above her head.

She gritted her teeth. Just a little longer now…

This was absolutely the last time she let Gandalf and his fancy friends override her logical plan for one of their own.

Her grandfather had insisted she play the part of a crazy person with him so they could both gain entry to the Necromancer’s Castle. He said there was something at work here he needed to investigate, but did he share details? No, of course not.

That would be logical. And Gandalf eschewed logic. 

Not that it changed her mission. She still had to break out, find Thrain, find her grandfather, and get them all to safety without getting caught. And she had do so in twenty-four hours before Thorin stormed the place.

Oh, and she had forgotten that she also had to escape her bonds and the man currently circling her, jolting her with a cattle prod whenever the mood struck him.

Yeah, piece of cake.

“Speak,” the man ordered with another zap.

Bella spat blood to the side. “Do you know how they divided Rome after it fell? With a pair of Caesars!”

The crack of electricity near her ear made her flinch.

“That’s prime material, right there,” she told him. “But apparently you have no sense of humor. I’d tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.”

He rammed the prod into her stomach.

Screams tore from her throat as her flesh boiled. She twisted, trying to get away from the agony, but there was no escape.

Eons later he pulled back. “Think on that, you sniveling idiot.”

Tears puddled in her eyes, unable to fall suspended as she was. Blood soaked her teeth and snot clogged her nose. Bella panted, crying under her breath as the man watched her.

 _Leave_. It was her one coherent thought. She just had to look pathetic enough he left without putting her hands behind her back.

Her stomach felt like it was still on fire. The smell of burnt flesh mixed bile with blood in her mouth. That sadistic bastard was going to regret ever touching her. She would make sure of it.

“I’ll come back when you can see reason,” he said.

She couldn’t see a thing through her tears, so she had to track him by sound. Footsteps, the creak of the door opening, the metal slab slamming shut.

Excellent.

Bella had to breathe through the pain for a long time. Since she was so successful as the Web-Cutter, she had been caught and tortured exactly never. However, her misfortunes with Gollum had increased her pain tolerance enough she could hold on to her purpose beneath the pulsing pain.

She had time. Just breathe. Just breathe.

Finally, she recovered herself and began her escape.

Easing her hands up, she rolled her shoulders to check her range of motion. This wasn’t going to be fun given how raw her abdomen was, but Bella had no choice. She had to free her feet.

Inch by inch, she curled up, an excruciating sit-up that tore silent shrieks from her lips as her abused muscles stretched and popped. Squeezing her legs between her elbows, Bella rested her head on her knees. Halfway there.

She turned to the side and vomited up the meager contents of her stomach. Never in her life had she been in so much pain. Burns hurt like…there was no describing them. Add in the smell of her own cooked flesh, and it almost made her collapse.

_One thing at a time. Remember why you’re here. You have to save Thorin’s father._

Thorin.

He had been apoplectic when Gandalf told him the plan. He didn’t want Bella anywhere near this place.

But at the end of the day, he had lived up to his word and trusted her to get the job done.

A smile momentarily conquered the pain as she remembered how he had convinced her to stay safe and come back to him. They had spent all of Sunday at Bag End watching movies in bed with Frodo and Sauron. He had bought take out, showed them how to properly use chopsticks, and then, when she and Frodo did dishes, started a soap bubble fight that had them all in stitches from laughing so hard.

And once Frodo had gone to bed…

She shivered at the memories. If it was common knowledge how talented that man was with his tongue and fingers, women would be throwing themselves at him in the street. Bella would have to beat them off with her purse.

Because he was hers. All hers.

She just had to make it back to him.

Alright. Buck up, Bella girl. Almost there.

With a deep breath she gripped her pant legs and pulled herself up past her knees, up to her ankles, and grasped the rope. The men had tied her six inches from the wall, a blessing to her because she could spin around and put her back to the wall as she fumbled with the knot on her hands.

The rope chafed her wrists, but she soon dislocated her thumbs and slipped free. She popped her thumbs back into place and considered her legs. What she did next would have to free her ankles and keep her up high so she could escape. Which meant she needed access to the vent where she had stored her tools.

The vent that was five feet away.

Bella sighed and immediately regretted it. Her stomach did not appreciate any additional movement. She braced herself before glancing down.

What little still remained in her stomach curdled at the sight. Her flesh was a melted mess of red and black bubbles. Second degree burn, some distant part of her brain commented. That was why she could feel every inch of the pain. If it was any worse, the nerves would have died. She swallowed hard and looked away.

 _Focus, Bella_. She could fall to pieces later.

With the feeling returning to her wrists, Bella braced her back against the wall and planted her feet on the ceiling. The Necromancer’s Castle was an old building, made with stone and concrete instead of drywall and popcorn ceilings. As such, it had settled over the years, rough edges and cracks appearing on the ceiling and walls.

Bella hooked her fingers into these crevices, and with her feet planted on the ceiling, she, scuttled over to the vent. She couldn’t let go or risk falling, so she head-butted the loose metal covering out of the way.

Nosing her way into the musty duct work, she snagged the edge of her knife with her teeth, eminently grateful for her OCD in working out details and contingency plans.

Mouth filled with metal, she hooked one hand in the vent and stuck the knife in her pocket before grabbing her bag of tools.

Once the strap was over her shoulder, she wiggled her way back to the wall, cut her feet free, and dropped to the floor. She slapped bandages over her wounds, and headed to the door. Who knew what kind of diseases she could catch in this place?

Picking the lock was quick work. Bella slipped out into the hallway, more relieved than she cared to admit to leave that hellhole behind. No doubt this had added stock to her nightmares, but she couldn’t let that bother her at the moment. She had a job to do.

A job that got a hell of a lot more complicated as she ghosted down the grimy corridors of closed doors and almost ran straight into the guards.

She ducked behind a corner, ears straining to pick up their conversation.

“Damned old man weighs more than he should. What does he eat?”

A soft, meaty thump as though they had kicked a body.

“Leave him here. We can find a gurney and make this easier on ourselves.” Another voice spoke up.

“Good plan. You can show me that girl you were telling me about that we just got in. If she’s half as sweet as you were saying, I want a bite.”

The second man laughed. “I’ve already got her strung up for you.”

Nausea hit Bella as she realized what they meant. What sort of place was this?

She waited for their footsteps to fade before she went to see the old man they had left.

Blood caked his graying hair to his face. His eyes were closed, but there was no mistaking her godfather.

Bella fell to her knees next to Gandalf and gently flipped him onto his back. “Gandalf? Can you hear me? Hold on, I’m going to get you out of here.”

“No!” he whispered. His voice was faint, but his intensity almost bowled her over. “You must leave! I need to stay. There is something at work here that I must flesh out. Get out and go directly to Mr. Elrond.”

“The District Attorney?” she asked blankly. “I’m not leaving you here!”

“You must! This is too important, Bella girl. Swear to me that you will leave right now. Go find Elrond and tell him that I have found the Shadow.”

“You have found the Shadow,” she repeated dutifully. “But-“

“Go! Get yourself free. You must trust me. Thrain is dead. Take this to Thorin.” He pressed a ring and a key into her hands. “Tell him his father wanted him to have these.”

“ _What_?”

How could Thrain be dead? They had intel…

Oh, Thorin. He was going to be devastated. And Dis, too.

“Go!”

Bella smoothed back his hair to kiss his forehead, slipped her knife up his sleeve so he had some sort of weapon, and raced down the hallway.

Dead or not, she had promised Thorin she would bring his father home. And no one deserved to spend eternity with their soul stuck in this place.

The pain from her wounds was a distant memory now. Cold, clear purpose settled on her. She would bring Thrain home for a proper burial.

And woe betide any creeper that stood in her way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry it has taken me so long to update! I didn't like anything I wrote for the longest time. But now, I think I have traction.  
> A shorter chapter today, but it's setting us up for some big things to come!  
> Let me know what you think!


	18. Long Odds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bella delves into the basement of the Necromancer's Castle. Thorin waits.

If it were possible, the basement of the Necromancer’s Castle was more depressing and in worse shape than the rest of the facility. Bella half expected rotting hands to pop out of the walls to strangle her and drag her body off to places unknown.

She really needed a MUTE button on her imagination.

The only record she could find on the computer she had hacked in the break room that related to Thrain was a mention of a man fitting his description being transferred to the basement this morning. They didn’t specifically say the morgue, but after what Gandalf had told her, Bella didn’t hold out any hope, especially not when she passed no guards or security cameras down here.

When the hallway ended in the plastic sheeting that usually covered freezers, Bella had to give herself a pep talk before she could walk through. She pulled the gun Thorin insisted she take from the bag, squared her shoulders, and pushed away the first pane of heavy plastic.

A dim cavern greeted her. No sound save her own harsh breathing, not even the rustling of rats or the drip drip of water down the moldy walls.

Nose wrinkled, she felt the wall for a light switch. Flicking on the one, shuddering light bulb, she found herself in the morgue after all. Row after row of metal slabs marched across the huge room. There must have been twenty slabs.

All of them were full.

She swallowed hard.

What was this place?

Searching each slab took her a while, the knot of dread in her stomach growing tighter and tighter. Tears clogged her eyes as she saw the ravaged faces of men and women. What had they done to deserve this?

Each step sent vicious reverberations of pain through her as the burn on her stomach stretched and wept. If she didn't get it sterile soon, she risked a terrible infection. And given that she was currently surrounded by decaying corpses, Bella was afraid to think of what type of infection it might be.

Flesh eating. Gangrene. Mutating.

Yeah, she _really_ needed that MUTE button.

Though Thorin had showed her a picture of his father and Gandalf had obtained footage of him from inside, Bella almost didn’t recognize him. His scraggly beard had been sliced in a ragged diagonal and his cheek had been cut in half by a vicious wound. It was only the tattoo on his hand that let her identify him.

Hoping against hope, she pressed her fingers to his throat trying to find a pulse. She put her other hand under his nose in case she could feel his breath.

Nothing.

Nothing.

She almost stepped back when she felt it.

A flutter.

A puff.

Oh! Oh! What….?

Was this just her imagination or had she actually…Nope, that was definitely a heartbeat. A very, very faint heartbeat.

Shit. What did she do? Bella could do some medical things, patch up Frodo when he took a tumble, things like that. However, she knew nothing about saving a person’s life.

A hospital. She needed to get him to a hospital.

It took her a few moments to re-center herself, deep breaths and picturing other things. Thrain could ill afford the delay, but freaking out and losing all control would take longer.

Okay. A plan. That’s what she needed.

First, she needed to get him out of here. She couldn’t carry him, not in her current state, so she had to find a gurney. There wasn’t an elevator here, so she’d have to figure out the stairs, or if there was another exit…

Bella raced toward the opposite end of the room. She had read a book once that said morgues had a lower entrance where they delivered and removed bodies straight from cars. Maybe there was a road she could wheel him up.

Bingo! A dark road extended up along the building from the double door next to the freezer. She also found a gurney.

Now, she just had to figure out a distraction of some sort so she could get Thrain out of here without the guards noticing. Somehow she also had to get him medical attention as quickly as possible.

An idea occurred to her. A terrible, terrible idea.

Thorin was going to kill her.

“Alright, Mr. Durinson. Let’s do this.” She wrangled Thrain onto the gurney, trying to be as careful as she could with his injuries.

 

Hiding Thrain's gurney behind some helpfully situated bushes, Bella watched the sweep of the security cameras on the outside of the building before she moved. In the now bulging bag on her back was some supplies she had pilfered from the morgue. It had been full of helpful chemicals that could preserve a body, and make things go boom.

Bella darted forward a few paces, waited, moved again. She sincerely hoped her two years of chemistry in college were not about to lead her astray.

When she reached the east corner of the building, Bella crouched down, gasped in pain, and opened the bag. She poured formaldehyde and a few other chemicals into Erlenmeyer flasks, capped them with rubber, and dotted the side of the building with them. According to the blueprints she had found, this side of the Castle didn't have any patients. Just the armory and the kitchen. Since all of the staff had gone home besides the torturers and the guards, she thought this was the best way to reduce collateral damage.

Once the flasks were all in place, she dribbled a thin line of gasoline on the concrete to connect them. As she passed each bottle, she uncorked it. When she returned to her bag, she tossed the gasoline container into the bushes and grabbed the lighter she had found stashed with a carton of cigarettes behind the computer. She gave the chemicals a few seconds to vaporize before she flicked the lighter and threw it onto the line.

Bella ran for it.

WHOOSH! The gasoline caught fire.

As fast as her failing body would go, she ran. Black spots danced in her vision. She was pushing herself too hard.

It didn't matter. She just had to get Thrain to the hospital.

She could do this.

She could do this.

 

Through the lenses of his binoculars, Thorin saw the fleet of ambulances squeal into the Necromancer’s Castle. As they approached the gate, the guards drew them to a screeching halt. Before the drivers could even role down their windows, the whole city block was rocked by an explosion.

Fires belched to life along the east side of the building. The flames danced twenty feet high as brick and glass showered the asphalt. Parts of the roof over the armory collapsed.

The gates fell as the security guards scrambled, yelling into their radios, and firing at shadows.

With a squeal of tires, the ambulances shot forward. They parked at the entrance gates and the EMTs raced inside.

“Good Mahal,” Thorin muttered, watching a plume of polluted smoke curl through the air like steam from a dragon’s snout.

If Bella resorted to such a drastic effort to get out, she must be in dire straights. Damn it. She had sworn she would call if she needed help.

 _Bad Moon Rising_ blared from his pocket.

Thank Mahal.

“Are you hurt?”

“Can’t talk now.” She sounded out of breath. “Change of plans. Call Elrond. Tell him Gandalf found the Shadow. Do it now! Please! And then meet me at the hospital. I found your father.”

“Bella-“

“Now! And if anyone comes out of the front or approaches the ambulances who isn’t an EMT, drop them with your sniper rifle.”

That was ten sorts of conflicting orders, but he swallowed his frustration. “Just tell me if you’re hurt. I’ve got my scope already aimed.”

“I’ll be fine. Just a little Bactrin and I’ll be good as new.”

“Alright. I’ll see you soon. I love you, Bella. Make it home to me tonight.”

“I love you, too. Buy me Chinese and it’s a date. Though maybe we should reschedule for tomorrow.” She hung up.

Thorin had a distinct feeling he’d be spending the next forty years of his life torn on the edge of a heart attack with her.

He slowed his heartbeat to regular intervals as he watched the front doors of the Castle. No one came out, but he caught motion off to the left.

Turning his scope, he saw Bella pushing a man on a gurney up the steep hill to the front, circular driveway. She moved stiffly, her patient gown torn and ripped in a dozen places to show raw wounds. One hand protected the side of her stomach he couldn’t see. She winced with every step, but she flashed his position a smile.

Well, she was still functioning at any rate. That would hold off the worst of his panic.

She glanced left and right before she hauled the doors of an ambulance open. He saw her hesitate as she tried to figure out how to lift the gurney into the back.

“Use the lift, darling,” he whispered.

Sure enough, she found the button quickly and loaded the man with ease. She scuttled around to the driver seat. Just as her hand reached for the handle, she had to dive for cover as a guard sprayed the vehicle with bullets.

“Shit.”

Two seconds and a trigger pull later, Thorin took the man down.

Bella scrambled to her feet, looked over at his hill across the street, and gave him a _what are you doing?_ gesture complete with raised eyebrow and spread hands.

Yeah, yeah.

He shot three more guards as she started the ambulance and peeled out of the parking lot.

As he dismantled his gun and collected his shell casings, Thorin dialed the District Attorney. Elrond didn’t pick up, so Thorin started to leave a chopped message on his machine.

“—Gandalf said that—“

“Detective.” Elrond’s rich tenor flowed down the line. “Start from the beginning, please. Where is Gandalf?”

“The Necromancer’s Castle. He conned his way inside and says he has found the Shadow. He is still there, but asked that you receive this message.”

“Understood. Are all your people out?”

Wow. Someone stayed on top of things. “Yes, sir. They just cleared.”

“Excellent. Leave the premises, Detective. This conversation never occurred. I will deny it, and I expect you never to bring it up again. Understood?”

Snotty lawyers. As if Thorin had no common sense. “Yes, sir.”

He trekked eight blocks to his car parked by a night club, trying to keep an even pace. Had that been his father on the gurney? He hadn’t been moving.

And why hadn’t Bella given him a straight answer about being hurt?

Only the fact that it would be recorded kept Thorin from turning on his sirens as he drove to the hospital. They couldn’t have any record of where he had been tonight. Smaug had too many friends in the government, and he would already suspect Thorin for this.

Parking in the first space he found, Thorin swiped his keys from the ignition and finally allowed himself to run.

He blasted into the ER waiting room and glared down a young man when he tried to reach the desk before Thorin.

“Who are you looking for?”

“A woman and an older man who were just admitted. Bella Baggins.”

The stumpy nurse frowned as he typed the name. “No, there’s no one here—Oh, one moment. The system just updated. Yes, she was admitted along with a man. Are you family?”

“Yes. She’s my fiancé and he’s my father.”

“Well, Mr….”

“Durinson.” He flashed his badge. “Detective.”

The badge made the nurse feel like he could give more information than he usually did. “I don’t have much information at the moment. What I can tell you is that your father was rushed straight into surgery. It's long odds. Severe dehydration and expansive areas of wounds. I'll level with you. It looks bad. 10% survival at best. Your fiancé was also taken into surgery. She has better odds, but is in considerable pain. I think you best settle in for a long wait. A doctor will come see you when they have news.”

Static filled his mind as Thorin landed in an empty chair. Bella was in surgery? Pain? How the fuck had she pushed Thrain all the way up that hill and made the drive here?

What if she got an infection? MRSA was a real danger, especially after surgery.

And why did his father only have a 10% chance of surviving? What had happened to him?

Dis. He should call Dis.

Staring at the phone in his hands, it took him a long moment to punch in her number. She answered on the second ring and promised to come as soon as she found a babysitter for the kids. Frodo was also with her tonight.

When she arrived, for once she didn’t say anything. She just sat next to him, took his hand, and joined him in the wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aha! An update.  
> What do you think?  
> Much love, and to all my American readers, I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving!


	19. Waiting Rooms and Long Lost Items

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bella is in the hospital and Thorin doesn't like it

The doctors let Bella have visitors an agonizing hour later. Thorin followed a white coat through a maze of tiled corridors. Dis remained in the waiting room in case news came for Thrain. 

Thorin had decided ten minutes into the wait that there was a hell on earth, and it came in the form of hospital waiting rooms. You couldn’t do anything but imagine all the horrible things that could be happening to your loved ones. You were utterly helpless. And yet, there was stubborn hope that wouldn’t allow you closure until the doors opened an eternity later and you were free. 

However, it was a hell Thorin would gladly lock himself in if it meant Bella would never be hurt again. 

“Here she is, Detective. The surgery was minor and successful. We had to stop some internal bleeding from a concussive force. She sustained second degree burns on her abdomen. We will have to watch it closely for signs of infection, and while we can keep a skin graft as a secondary option, I think it best to see if it will heal on her own. She will have scars, but it is a safer route than more surgery,” the doctor told him. 

“I understand. Thank you.” 

“Of course. The morphine drip is active, though it is to use at her discretion. If you need anything else, buzz for a nurse. I will check in on her in the morning.” 

Thorin walked into Bella’s room and crossed straight to her bed. 

She reclined against a wall of pillows, nose buried in a book he couldn’t imagine where she found, and looked up at his entrance. 

“Uh-oh.” Her welcoming smile dimmed. “How much trouble am I in?” 

It took him a moment to unclench his jaw. “Bella. You fucking promised me that you’d be careful.” 

“I was—“ 

“Obviously not careful because you’re in a goddamn hospital!” He exploded. Thorin paced the narrow room. “That was our agreement. You take jobs as the Web-Cutter and I didn’t say anything as long as you had at least three escape routes and planned every step so you’d never be hurt.” 

“Life rarely works so smoothly,” Bella said quietly. 

“That’s not the point, Bella!” 

Setting aside the book, she drew up the covers and patted the bed next to her legs. “Come sit.” 

He crossed his arms and remained standing. 

The sense of calm in her expression slipped. For a second he saw how exhausted she was, how much pain she was in, how worried she was. Then she blinked, and indomitable Bella was back. “Please, Thorin. Will you sit with me for just a minute?” 

“Mahal, woman. You’re going to give me a heart attack,” he muttered. But he sat next to her, enfolding her hands in his and kissing her gently. “Gandalf will be fine, darling. He’s night upon indestructible. Elrond is headed there as we speak.” 

“He should bring an army with him. That place, Thorin…I have no idea how your father survived as long as he did. Do you have any news?” 

He shook his head. “Only that things look grim. Dis is waiting for a doctor now. She’ll call when she had news.” 

Bella bit her lip. “I don’t know why Gandalf insisted on this. I had a plan, a good one, that would have gotten me in and out without ever endangering anyone. When I saw him last…he was in almost as bad of shape as Thrain.” 

“We’ll get him back, Bella. If Elrond can’t manage it, then we’ll find ourselves an army. I swear it.” Though from what he had heard about the Necromancer’s Castle, and from the state of his father, Thorin didn’t hold out much hope for his boss. 

Whatever it was Gandalf had gone in there to find, it must have been damned important because it might just cost him his life. 

If he died in there, Bella would blame himself. Thorin would have to track Mahal to his Halls or wherever Gandalf’s spirit went to rest, if only so he could punch him for worrying Bella. 

“Oh no!” She jackknifed upright. Pressing her hands to her stomach, Bella went white. “Wow. That hurts even more now.” 

“What happened?” He reached for her morphine drip, but she shook her head. 

“I hate painkillers. They make me feel all funny. One of the guards had a cattle prod.” 

“What?” 

She pulled a face. “It’s not important right now. My bag. Do you know where it is?” 

“Yes, I retrieved it from the ambulance after they wheeled you in. Why?” If she thought they were done talking about this, she had another thing coming. 

Still too pale, Bella told him to go get it. “There’s something in there that your father wanted you to have.” 

“You spoke to him?” 

“No. Gandalf did. He thought Thrain was dead so he passed them onto me before I left and the guards took him away.” 

Heart beating too fast, Thorin retraced his steps to the waiting room. He gave Dis an update and fished the bag out from under her chair. 

“Thank Mahal.” Dis slumped in her seat. “We can’t lose Bella. Not her too. I can’t deal with anymore grief.” 

Thorin pulled her into a tight hug. Poor Dis. They had both been through hell, first with losing the company and Grandfather. Then Mother passed, Father disappeared, and all they had were each other and Frerin. For a while, Dis had found happiness with her husband, but then he lost a vicious, fast battle with cancer and she was alone again. 

Overseas with the Army at the time, Thorin hadn’t been there to support the grieving mother who was pregnant with her second child. Thank God Frerin had been there with her. 

Somehow she weathered it all with an open heart, but she didn’t need anymore pain in her life,

“We should call Frerin,” she mumbled. “He’ll want to know about Dad.” 

“He’s still out on a mission. We have no way of contacting him. When he gets back to the base, he’ll let us know and we can call him then,” he reminded her. 

“Right. Right. Okay. Go tell Bella I’m thinking of her. As soon as I hear about Dad, I’ll go get the kids and watch them for the night.” 

He kissed her temple. “Thanks, Dis. She should be released in the morning.” 

After a cup of truly awful coffee, Thorin felt comfortable enough to leave her again and returned to Bella.

She woke out of a doze with a smile for him. “Hey. I missed you.” 

“Me too, darling.” Thorin snuck a kiss. “Go back to sleep. I’ll be right here.” 

He hid her bag behind the bed and pulled out the two items in front flap. 

A solid, metal key landed in his palm with a ragged sheaf of paper. Thorin unfolded the paper and felt the ground open beneath his feet. 

How was this possible? 

It couldn’t be…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Didn't want to worry you all for too long. So here's a quick update.  
> Much more to come!


	20. Sweet Distractions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Mild/Suggested NSFW sexual content in this chapter 
> 
> Bella does her best to distract Thorin from current events

Bella was worried

Maybe this was a bad idea.

She chewed on her lower lip, examining her handiwork. Who was she kidding? This was definitely a bad idea.

But she didn’t know what else to do.

Ever since she had gotten out of the hospital a week ago, things had gone from zero to sixty in a heartbeat.

Gandalf had come out of the Necromancer’s Castle alive with the help of Mr. Elrond and Judge Galadriel. He didn’t talk about what he had done in there, but he was graver than she had ever seen him. The three of them, along with Senator Saruman, barricaded themselves in Gandalf’s house most days, and when they weren’t there, Gandalf was harassing Thorin and Dwalin over Smaug.

Thorin, for his part, had also turned grim. Not around her and the kids, but he worked long hours every day, and looked…sad whenever he thought she wasn’t paying attention. Whatever that map and key meant to him, it wasn’t a simple inheritance. He promised to tell her what it meant this weekend when he could breathe again. The suspense was killing her.

When he had two minutes to himself, Thorin sought her and Frodo out for dinner and to check up on her injury. Bella hated that he looked so tired all the time.

There were no leads on the murders though they had circumstantial evidence that tied them to Smaug. She had made no progress on Smaug’s security system in Erebor. Thrain was alive. The hospital had downgraded him from Severe to Critical status, but he had yet to regain consciousness. They weren’t sure he ever would.

All of which meant they weren’t any closer to retrieving the Arkenstone and taking down Smaug. That wasn’t the end of the world as things like this took time, but Smaug, it seemed, had decided it was time to respond.

A reward had been announced for whomever could name the intruder in Ft. Ancalagon. Ten million dollars. Smaug wasn’t a fool. He knew that even though nothing had been taken his security had been compromised. He had to figure out what the trespasser had done.

There was nothing tying her to the break-in as long as she never met those three trollish figures again. Still, it had her and Thorin on edge.

So, all in all, not a good week.

Which brought Bella back to her current predicament.

Frodo had wanted to sleep over at Sam’s all week, and since today was Friday, she had given in. Her little boy had skipped down Bagshot Row, excited for Mrs. Gamgee’s mushroom soup and Sam’s new action figure. His bright presence had been the only good thing in her days this week, but since she had the house to herself, Bella had no good excuse not to put her plan into action.

She should have just stuck with the dinner she made.

Too late now. Thorin was due over in five minutes. She had told him she had a plumbing emergency and they could order in pizza if he came over after work. He had texted her not that long ago he had left the precinct.

Sighing, she took a big swallow of wine, and left the room. Really, she was over reacting. This was every man's dream, right? Silk, lace, and a big bed.

“Hey.” Thorin’s eyes crinkled at the corners as she answered the door. He leaned down to kiss her, lingering a little longer when she rose on her toes, unwilling to let him go so soon.

“Hi,” she said when she’d caught her breath again.

He did a double take when he took in her outfit. A wicked smile streaked across his lips. “There is no emergency, is there?”

She smoothed down her silk dress. It had taken her two hours to tame her curls into the elegant chignon, and then another hour to perfect her vintage pin-up makeup and outfit. “Very clever, Detective. Come in. It’s chilly out there.”

“You look beautiful, Bella.” He stepped inside and pressed a hot, intimate kiss to the side of her neck.

“Thank you. Would you like a drink?” She took his hand to lead him to the living room where a fire roared.

“Absolutely. What’s all this, darling?”

Christmas lights twinkled on the ceiling above a blanket spread on the hardwood floors. A picnic basket and a teapot sat in one corner of blanket.

“Well, I thought you could use a distraction from how ugly things have gotten recently. We talked about our travels, and since we both loved Morocco, I thought I’d bring a little of it here to Hobbiton. I made lamb tajine, crusty bread with oil, and baklava for dessert,” she said, walking over to turn off the lights. The projector behind him flickered to life and the bare wall opposite them became a movie screen. “And _Casablanca_.”

Thorin just blinked at her. Damn. She had known he would be exhausted. The best thing she could have done would be to give him her guest bed.

Opening her mouth to offer that alternative, Thorin shook his head and smiled.

“Wow. Bella, I’m floored. I can’t believe you went to so much trouble for me.”

Oh, thank goodness. She smiled at her feet. “It was nothing really. I like to cook and I never say no to _Casablanca_.”

A warm hand caught hers and brought it to his lips for a kiss on her knuckles. “It’s amazing. However, I think I’m a little under dressed. An outfit like yours deserves a black tie at the very least.”

She blushed. Just a little. “You work in a suit. I think you’ll be okay. Let’s sit. Would you like mint tea or something stronger?”

Careful of her still healing burn, Thorin helped her sit on the floor. “Something stronger to start. It was a hell of a day.”

After she poured him Scotch and tea for herself, Bella set out the bread and roasted chickpeas before settling back against his chest. “Thank goodness it’s Friday.”

He grunted. “I’m working tomorrow. Hopefully only half a day, but we’ll see. Dwalin and I are close to something. I can feel it.”

“You’ll make it,” she said. Not even Fate could match Thorin’s stubborn will.

“Mahal, I hope so.” He let out a long breath and some of the tension in his muscles eased. “I needed this. Thank you, sweetheart.”

“Anytime.” Bella pressed play.

They enjoyed the movie, feeding each other little bites of food, and snuggling on the blanket. She congratulated herself on the success of Phase One, though a little part of her hoped Thorin would fall asleep so she wouldn’t have to work up the courage for Phase Two.

Bella was comfortable in her own skin, and goodness knew Thorin enjoyed being with her, mind, body, and soul, but she had never been particularly adventuresome in the bedroom. Her natural inclination to hide behind books or a nomme de guerre didn’t exactly give her much experience with such things.

But as she lay her head on Thorin’s chest and his hand slipped down to her stomach, stroking softly over the material of her dress, she felt a lick of heat and knew she had to at least try. While they had set the bedroom on fire each time they slept together these past few weeks, she got the sense that Thorin was holding back. That he thought of her as fragile.

It might terrify and excite her in equal parts, but Bella would have none of that.

As Bogart and Rains walked off into the mist, Bella shifted enough to turn off the projector. “I love that movie.”

Thorin hummed against her temple. “They don’t make them like they used to. How many movies anymore rely on wit and not slapstick? Besides, no one can beat Bogart.”

“I knew there was a reason I liked you.”

“Good.” He chuckled. “Because I love you, Bella. I can’t tell you how much I needed tonight. The last time someone did something like this for me…Hell, I can’t even remember.”

Yes. She could do this. Bella eased her way to her feet. “I love you too. Which is why…there’s one more surprise for you. Meet me in my bedroom in five minutes.”

That wicked grin returned and her panties went damp. “I like the sound of this.”

She walked out of the room, making sure to add an extra sway to her hips.

 

Stretched out on the bed, with her hands tied to the headboard, Bella waited with baited breath as she heard Thorin’s footsteps in the hall.

 _Relax_ , she told herself. This was Thorin. With the way he routinely looked at her, she could wear a paper bag and he would still tell her she looked beautiful- and mean it. There was something incredibly empowering about that.

She just hoped he liked the outfit. What little there was of it.

The lingerie saleswoman had called it a basque. A sheer, black, lace tulle corset flowed down and over her hips. The lace swirled over her nipples and hid the padding that pushed her breasts into luscious mounds. A thin golden chain whispered over silk to define her curves. The lace continued to her surprisingly demure bikini panties and garter belt to black thigh highs.

As much as it shocked Bella’s prudish tendencies, she felt like a goddess when she put it on. After purchasing the basque, the rest of tonight’s plan, from the movie, to the silk bindings currently holding her to the bed had fallen into place.

A knock sent the butterflies in her stomach to flying. She almost floated away before she cleared her throat and called, “come in.”

Thorin strode in, saw her, and froze. His hands curled into fists as though he had to physically restrain himself from touching her.

“Hey there, soldier.” She winked, unable to help herself. So she read stupid, sappy romances. Sue her. They made her happy.

“Bella…” He sounded a little choked. “Be very sure that this is what you want. You don’t have to do this to help me. If you say yes, this is going to be wild and intense.”

She raised her chin and gave him a smoldering look. “Whatever you want, Thorin. Make me blush tomorrow when I wake up and remember this.”

He stalked over to the bed on silent feet, a predatory gleam in his eye. “What makes you think you’re going to sleep tonight?”

 

Bella stirred against Thorin’s chest just as the sun snuck under the blinds. He ran a hand down her loose curls and kissed her temple. “Good morning, darling.”

She stretched against him like a cat, smiling when she realized they were still connected. He had spent most of the night buried in her slick heat, and when Bella had collapsed after her seventh orgasm, he hadn’t been able to convince himself to slide out. Even now, only half-hard, her muscles were tight enough to keep him locked deep inside her.

“Good morning.”

As he looked down at her face, he saw the memory of everything they had done return to her. A blush erupted on her cheeks and spread to her chest, bathing him in its heat. Her pupils dilated and she cleared her throat repeatedly.

He grinned. “There’s my prize.”

“There’s mine,” she said softly. Bella rose up enough to kiss him.

“I love you, Bella.” Even with the twenty thousand demands on his time, Thorin had never felt so relaxed. Happy.

“More than anything,” she agreed. Tumbling off him, she rolled to the edge of the bed and stood up. Hands on her hips, she turned to give him a mock-glare. “You marked me.”

Strawberry love bites freckled her breasts and stomach. His hand prints were cherry red on her tempting ass, and more nips decorated the inside of her thighs.

“Damn straight, Bella. I don’t want you forgetting this.”

She jumped back on the bed and attacked his neck. Laughing, he tried to fend her off, but she was tenacious. When a huge hickey marked his skin, she sat back with a smirk.

“Now you won’t forget either. All other women can back off.” She sounded very pleased with herself.

Thorin tugged her down for a kiss. “You’re wild.”

“Only with you.” Bella laughed. “I had ten sorts of anxiety even thinking about this yesterday. Thank goodness you solved that problem.”

That made him feel like a god. She responded so uninhibitedly to his touch it went straight to his head. “That’s my little firecracker. Come on, you’ll need a hot bath or you’ll be sore.”

He swung her into his arms and carried her into the bathroom where he found a claw foot tub and a state of the art shower. The rest of her house was nice, but this was extravagant.

Bella shrugged. “I like taking long, hot baths. I have since I was a child. I even had a song.”

“Now this, I have to hear.”

Turning on the hot water, she shook her head. “Not in a million years, mister.”

“I can be very persuasive,” he teased.

Deep green eyes sparkled at him. “Yeah? Persuade me.”

Drawing her back against him, Thorin pressed a reverent, consuming kiss to her lips, trying to tell her without words how irrevocably in love with her he was. How he never wanted a day to pass without seeing her smile. How he would do whatever it took to be worthy of her.

Thorin Durinson was not a perfect man. He had baggage extending for miles, and he had a black temper. He saw the worst in people, and he had little to offer those who stood by him.

But no matter what came, no matter what Smaug stole from him, he would never stop loving Bella.

She was his miracle, and he would be whatever she needed. Until the end of days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone thinks that Casablanca is not a treasure, just be warned, I will fight you. 
> 
> A sweet chapter for the holiday season. I hope everyone is enjoying themselves and to my northern friends, stay warm!
> 
> Edited note: In case anyone is curious, this is the lingerie I modeled Bella's after  
> http://www.agentprovocateur.com/gb_en/gloria-basque-black


	21. Into the Mirkwoods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The kids put on a new performance

“Explain this to me again,” Thorin murmured in Bella’s ear as the lights dimmed in the elementary school’s cafeteria.

“I fail to see how this concept is so hard to grasp,” she whispered. “The kids practiced, now they’re performing.”

“They just performed a month ago!” he groaned. “How could they already know a new play?”

“Because this isn’t a play,” she said patiently. “Each year, they do one play, and one dance recital.”

Mahal save them.

“And what’s the body count in this endeavor?”

Bella patted his thigh. “Oh, don’t be so cynical. Denethor didn’t direct this one. Actually, Dori choreographed it. Pull out the video camera, please.”

“Dori? My family, nosy lawyer?” He gaped at her. “Come off it.”

One eyebrow arched in perfect scorn. “Thorin, he’s the most involved member of the PTA we have ever had. When he heard about the musical, he insisted on joining the team. He gets into it so much we had to ban him from adding more than three leaps. One year he demonstrated, landed wrong, and threw out his hip.”

“Wasn’t it because of some spat with the director?” At the time, Thorin had thought he meant the director of the law firm.

“Thranduil. Ah, yes. He…well, Thranduil is graceful, elegant, and has very grand visions for these performances. Rarely do he and Dori agree about the best way to realize an artistic vision. A few weeks ago, they had a knockdown, drag out fight over pirouettes,” Bella said.

“Sweet Mahal,” he muttered.

Dis laughed from his other side. “Just you wait, brother mine. This year’s show is called _Into the Mirkwoods_. The illustrious director is a bit of a nepotist. He put his son and goddaughter in the leading roles. Kili was not happy. He wanted to play the part of Thingol. Said it spoke to him on an emotional level.”

With a sideways glance at his sister, Thorin shook his head. “What is in the water here? Kili doesn’t have emotional levels. That kid has two speeds: full stop and damn the torpedoes.”

Both women laughed.

“Tauriel is a very spunky girl and she has the part of Melian,” Dis explained. “Kili wanted to have the part so she could teach him how to do a spin kick.”

“Who is he instead?”

“Beren. He is chasing Luthien and she escapes from a tree to be with him. Apparently there is a bit more of a rivalry than there should be between him and Legolas who is playing Thingol.” Dis grinned. “Thranduil made me come to three parent-director meetings to discuss it.”

Bella snorted. “You told him where to shove it, didn’t you?”

“I can confirm nothing. Honestly, the kids get along fine. It’s all in his head. He’s just prissy.”

“Shhh!” Dori sidled into the chair behind Thorin, and dropped a paper in his lap. “Don’t open that until intermission. You should give your full attention to this. The music and my choreography with the kids’ energy…perfection!”

Thorin stared at the paper. He had asked for more information about the paper of his father’s. The week and a half of waiting had done his blood pressure no good.

Reaching over, Bella found his hand and clasped it hard.

He squeezed back. Whatever it was, he didn’t have to face it alone.

The curtain rolled up, four kids in long robes walked out, and….

No words.

Thorin had no words for what he saw. It was the oddest mix of a sweet children’s dance…and professional, take no prisoners ballet. The crowd alternately oohed at cute spins and twirls, and winced at tangled limbs.

Behind them Dori kept up a running commentary. “One, two, three, _four_ , my child, the clap is on four. No! Not like that, did I teach you _nothing_? That’s it, yes. Excellent dive! Oh, to hell with the costumes—focus on the dance! Rip it off! Just _rip it off_! That’s it, I’m going up there!”

Dwalin, who had just arrived, bodily hauled him back into his seat.

“Hush! Here comes Kili!”

“Where are Fili and Frodo in all this?” Thorin wondered.

“Frodo is one of the wolves later. Fili, wise soul that he is, volunteered to help with staging,” Bella murmured.

“Smart boy.”

Two young boys stalked out onto the stage, the blonde arching his back to appear taller, and Kili striking an impressive pose.

“Ah, yes. The one musical number,” Bella winced.

“No. You didn’t tell me they were going to sing,” Thorin started.

Both Fili and Kili had inherited their father’s singing talent- which is to say, none.

Kili puffed up his chest. “AGONY!”

Dis snatched the video camera from him. “My son is going to be a star! Broadway, here we come!”

Sweet Mahal above.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much of a plot update, sorry, but I just wanted to prove I’m still alive. I’ll do my best to move things along next. Hope you enjoyed this fun update! 
> 
> Also, two points, yes I know Into the Woods is a play, not a dance performance. I have seen it multiple times (so good!). And, Thingol and Melian were never in Mirkwood, apologies for the setting shift, but I thought it worked. Also, if you haven’t read Beren and Luthien’s story, be sure to check them out. Long hair was involved, but mostly Luthien’s a bad ass.


	22. The Revelance of Ovid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin and Bella investigate the paper Thrain had.

Bella perched on the edge of her chair. Her heel tapped restlessly against the floor, her fingers clenched around her purse handle as she and Thorin waited in the marble lobby of Rivendell Legal. He, in contrast, was still, calm, relaxed. The corner of his mouth quirked up as he reached over to clasp her hands between his. “Why are you so nervous?”

“I’m a thief, Thorin— “

“Recovery specialist.”

She kissed his cheek. “—and I am about to face one of the leading prosecuting authorities in Middle Earth.”

“Elrond is a friend of Gandalf’s,” he reminded her. “Besides, you’re dating a cop. Why doesn’t that rate the same level of…trepidation?”

“It did,” she said honestly, meeting his deep gaze. “Why do you think I stayed in my car for so long on our first date?”

His smile bloomed. “I remember. Is that why you walloped me with your purse?”

Nudging him gently in the stomach with her elbow, Bella went back to tapping her foot. “Elrond might be Gandalf’s friend, but I know he doesn’t always approve of his methods. He could think that of me. It could sabotage all your efforts and then I won’t be there for you and—“

A soft chuckle cut her off. Thorin skimmed his lips from her temple to the corner of her mouth. “Easy, darling. One thing at a time. Gandalf and I will both be there to back you up. And given how he came to help Gandalf and my father at the Castle, I think Elrond might be more flexible than you think.”

Maybe. But Bella had woken up with a feeling that she couldn’t shake. That something was about to go sideways, fast.

“Besides,” his tone darkened, “he is a lawyer. They don’t deal in the law anymore than you do.”

“Miss Baggins, Mr. Durinson? This way, please. Mr. Elrond is waiting for you.” A young, whipcord thin man appeared in the lobby. He led them down a hallway that doubled as a terrarium. “Welcome to Rivendell. I’m Lindir, an associate here.”

“Nice to meet you,” Bella murmured. “Do you happen to know if Gandalf is already here?”

“Yes, Miss Baggins. He arrived shortly before you.” A taut expression flickered over his young face. “He…err…is quite a presence.”

“Yes, he is. Don’t feel like you should be diplomatic, Lindir. My godfather enjoys pushing people’s buttons,” Bella said on a smile.

Lindir coughed into his hand. “As you say, Miss.”

“Just Bella, please.”

When the young man smiled at her, Thorin pulled her closer to his side. Lindir just kept smiling.

She stifled an eye roll. _Men._

They reached a door painted with two trees with their boughs intertwined. One was silver, the other gold. Something about it made Bella think of a long, bittersweet history that very few remembered.

After knocking once, Lindir opened the door and waved them inside.

Bella found her godfather standing at a large picture window overlooking a stream. A tall man with long, silver streaked gray hair, and charcoal eyes that saw everything in one glance nodded deeply to them from behind a sleek, wooden desk.

“It is a pleasure, Miss Baggins.” Elrond extended his hand. “I have heard so much about you.”

“Oh. I…if it’s from my godfather, only half of it is true. And please, call me Bella,” she said hesitantly, shaking his hand.

“Only half? Elrond, good to see you again,” Thorin said.

“Detective.” He nodded. “Please, have a seat. There is no need to look so nervous, Bella. My sons and daughter got up to more mischief than Eris. I like knowing I wasn’t the only frustrated, amused parent.”

“You would have enjoyed Bella’s parents. They encouraged her most times, I think.” Gandalf chuckled.

Before she could even process the grief that pulsed ice through her veins, Thorin had quietly reached over to take her hand. She squeezed it tightly in thanks. Time had dulled the ache, and she knew it would never go away, but it eased the pain to know she no longer was alone.

“Now, to business.” Gandalf clapped his hands. He hid it well, but he winced with the motion.

“No. Now, to you resting. Godfather, you just got out of the hospital two days ago. Sit down,” Bella said.

Gandalf raised an eyebrow.

She matched the gesture, one foot tapping again. “You can order us about just as well from a chair.”

With a sigh worthy of a debutante, he sat down. “Very well.”

“Do you happen to have any tea, Mr. Elrond? I know my godfather doesn’t hydrate properly.”

Hiding a smile, Elrond fixed a pot of tea everyone. When they all held cups, Thorin managing not to grimace obviously because it wasn’t coffee, he returned to his seat, and nodded to Gandalf.

“Thank you. Now, Thorin, your father gave you a key and a will. What have you learned from these?”

"I thought you said it was a map." Bella frowned.

Thorin rolled one shoulder in a shrug. "That's what we always called it. It is his official will. Grandfather just always called it our map to our future."

But he made no move to show it.

At Thorin’s hesitation, Gandalf snapped his fingers. “Don’t be ridiculous. Elrond knows more about Smaug’s atrocities than anyone, yourself included.”

“He also doesn’t want us to retake what is ours,” Thorin said.

Elrond considered him over steepled fingers. “Why do you think that?”

“Because you’re a lawyer. Lawyers have always sided against our family. Always have, always will.”

Bella watched both men carefully, shifting in her chair to get a clear view. Thorin so rarely spoke about what had happened in the aftermath of losing Erebor. Whatever confrontation was brewing, it wouldn’t be a pretty one.

“I know that your family tried to take Smaug to court, and failed,” Elrond said after a moment. “I do not know all the details of the case, but courts in the sixth district have ever been in his favor.”

“Blaming it on the courts will not make it a truth,” Thorin snapped. “Our lawyer lied and lied to my grandfather! Every word that came out of his mouth was coated in snake oil. Do you think me so stupid as to trust you again when no one lifted a finger to help us when we needed it most? No, you were all content, here in your ivory towers, to let Smaug take us, to watch my family, our employees, scatter on the street like rats!”

“Thorin!” Gandalf glowered. “Stand down! Elrond is not your enemy.”

Bella found his hand, unclenched his fingers, and interlaced them with her own. Justified target or not, his pain was real. Bitter. She had to find a way for him to redirect it before they lost all hope of understanding the will Thrain had given him.

“Mr. Elrond, may I ask you a question?” Her quiet tone broke through the anger.

“Please.”

“Why are you willing to help Thorin now? Whatever your reasons for helping or not back then, I don’t know if they are relevant, but I would like to know what has changed.”

He inclined his head. “An excellent question. Perhaps you should consider diplomacy as a career, Bella.”

She hid a snort. Try telling that to her cousins.

“I wasn’t there when Erebor was taken, but I have been fighting Smaug and those like him since before you were born. I work within the law and have more than one battlefront in the war against the Shadow Party, but I cannot be in every place at once. The White Council and I, we do what we can. I cannot restore what you have lost, Detective, nor I can do much to help you. What I can do is read your will. What I can do is give you hope and direction,” Elrond said in his calm tenor.

“Smaug is with the Shadow Party?” That was hardly comforting.

“Not directly,” Gandalf sighed. “Smaug is concerned with one thing—Smaug. He is a bastard by nature, but he won’t go out of his way to suppress others if there is no direct benefit to him, usually monetary in nature. He might fund some of the Party, or maybe the Party helped him get Erebor. It is difficult to pin down, but should the Shadow return, he could be very dangerous.”

“So as much as you want to help Thorin, you also want to break Smaug’s power, and through him, cut off the Shadow Party from a possible lucrative backer,” Bella said. It wasn’t a question. Her answer was there in Elrond’s silences.

And her godfather’s.

“The world does not stop for one injustice or heartbreak,” Gandalf murmured.

Thorin leaned forward, elbows on his knees as he let go of her hand. He bent in his head in thought for a long moment.

Biting her lip, Bella tried to stay still. He needed to decide this on his own. Whatever he decided, she would be there for him, even if that support required a kick to the shins for stupidity. Thorin was strong, but years of pain might blind him to the way forward.

Her lover was nothing if not stubborn.

“If you can tell us something from the will, what do you intend to do about it?” Thorin asked without looking up.

“Offering you what advice I can. I know that you have been researching methods to bring Smaug to justice,” he shot a look at Gandalf, “and while I think your current path is foolish, dangerous, and desperate, I will not interfere. Sometimes the foolish hopes are the only ones that succeed in times like these.”

“A fool’s hope may change the course of the future,” Bella murmured. It had been her father’s favorite thing to say when standing against pessimists.

 _Never despair Bella girl_ , he would whisper when she cried, _for despairing means you have given up all hope. To do that would be to give up being human. No matter how bad things get, remember that. There is always joy to be found, in equal parts with despair._

From his jacket pocket, Thorin pulled out the will. As though fighting himself, muscles bunched and fired beneath his shirt sleeve as he inched the paper toward Elrond.

The attorney bowed his head, and took the document between long, slim fingers.

Two cups of tea, a page of notes, and several furrowed brows later, Elrond looked up. He made to hand the will back when his expression cleared. Chuckling, he fingered the paper, flipped it over, sniffed the upper left-hand corner, and licked it.

What on earth?

“Well, I will say this for your grandfather, Thorin, Thror was a wily one,” Elrond said.

Thorin just looked at him.

“Ah, yes. Context shall prove to be important. If you’ll indulge me a moment longer.” He turned to his phone and pressed the intercom button. “Lindir, could you find me some charcoal, please?”

Making Bella jump, Thorin burst out laughing.

When she stared at him, he shook his head on a grin. “Grandfather was a big fan of Ovid’s.”

That didn’t clear things up. As a devoted bookworm, Bella had read _Metamorphoses_ , and enjoyed them, but she couldn’t recall a reference to charcoal in the poems. Was it some kind of code?

“Ovid once told women that to pass messages to men without their husbands knowing all they needed was milk and charcoal powder,” Elrond explained. “The milk is slightly acidic so it stays on the paper once it dries and turns invisible. Sprinkle on charcoal powder, it reacts and reveals the hidden message.”

She’d have to remember that. Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin would go crazy over cool spy codes like that.

Then again, she had a hard enough time keeping up with those four as it was.

“But how did you know to look for it?”

Gandalf rolled his eyes. “Thror was clever, and he wanted people to know it. He once sent us invitation to his Christmas party written in invisible ink.”

Soon Lindir had found a bag of barbecue chips, and a mortar and pestle. He crushed up some charcoal, picked up a handful of dust, and scattered it across the whole back of the page.

Everyone leaned in as the black powder settled onto the document.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoo! The plot moves forward again.  
> Thanks for all your understanding in my slow updating speed! I already have the next chapter written, and I will post it tomorrow. 
> 
> Also, lemon juice and heat works just as well, but I like the Ovid method myself. :D 
> 
> As always, let me know what you think!


	23. Whys and Wonderings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bella and Thorin react to the reveal, and Thorin asks a question. (No, not THAT question).

A study in contrasts, that was what Thorin and Bella were. 

She hunched in on herself, eyes flickering over the will’s secret, worrying her lower lip between her teeth. He stretched back, feeling a flame ignite in his gut now that they had a chance. 

“Blueprints.” Elrond spun the will around to show them the full picture. 

“Old blueprints,” Bella said. “These must be the original. No one can find them. Rumor has it they show a hidden passage into the bank. Rumor is right.” 

“But?” For her to be this worried something had to be wrong. 

Green eyes met his, a swirl of emotion in her gaze he couldn’t read. “But, rumors say that to access it, this line right here that leads into the heart of Erebor, you have to make it up the Gray Stone. The blueprints back that up. See this note here?” 

“Shit.” He rubbed at the back of his neck. 

“That is no small feat.” Gandalf whistled. 

The Gray Stone was the cornerstone of Erebor. The building was centered around the large monolith that his ancestor, Durin, had carried down from the mountains, or so the story went. It was perfectly smooth on all four sides, a hundred and fifty feet tall. It was impossible to scale, impossible to stand atop. 

One office was carved in the center of the stone, windows all around, the true corner office of the bank. Smaug had made it his headquarters. He rarely left the seventh floor that he had turned into his living quarters. 

Elrond stood. “I think it is best if I do not hear anymore. I wish you luck, however. Take my notes. They may help if you wage a legal battle against Smaug.” 

Gandalf remained behind for a White Council meeting, and Bella was too preoccupied to insist on his word that he wouldn’t overtire himself. So Thorin glared at his boss until the old man gave a reluctant nod. 

As they walked back to his car, Thorin tucked her arm into his. “Darling?” 

“I need to think,” she said. “There is no other way into Erebor save the front doors. He had blocked off all other exits. It’s more complicated than just scaling to the top of the Stone and not catching Smaug’s notice. My research says he has booby trap upon booby trap between there and the safe or the Arkenstone, surveillance cameras, and doors that are locked as tight as safes. I just… deals to be made….risks to consider…I need to think before I can talk about it.” 

“Alright.” He held open the car door for her, walked around to the other side, and turned over the engine. 

They drove in silence until Thorin couldn’t hold the question in any longer. 

“Why are you doing this?” 

Gandalf and Elrond had ulterior motives, Thorin wanted a better life for his family and revenge, Dwalin and the others helped out of loyalty. Bella had told him once why she did this, but somehow he didn’t think the reasons remained the same. 

Bella didn’t pretend to misunderstand. “Because I will lose you if I don’t.” 

The seat belt bit into his chest as Thorin slammed on the breaks. Horns honked a screeching call around him, but he didn’t notice. 

“That is not--!” 

She laid a gentle hand on his arm. “Not that you’d make it an ultimatum. I didn’t mean it like that. Actually, I know you’re about ten seconds away from forbidding me from doing this.” 

He grunted. “More like five. This is dangerous, Bella. More so than any of your other jobs.” 

“I know.” There was enough gravity in her tone to tell him she did understand. 

Bella sighed. “You say it is dangerous for me, Thorin, but I wonder if you realize how dangerous it is for you. In the years since your grandfather’s death, you have created a new life for yourself and your family, even your employees, but you haven’t forgotten. Have you given any thought to what will happen when you face Smaug?” 

“There’s nothing to think about.”

Silence again. 

“Bella?” 

“Have I ever told you how my parents died? Car accident. Drunk driver.” She wrapped her arms around herself, gaze distant out the windshield. “They were on their way back from a party at the symphony. Papa loved music. Mama loved to get dressed up and make him laugh when they were supposed to be solemn.” 

Shit, he hadn’t meant to reopen old wounds. “Bella…” 

Her smile was lopsided, but beautiful. “It’s okay. I want to remember them, but I’m getting away from the point. The cops found the drunk driver, two years later, from paint analysis. I met her. At the court hearing. Everyone told me that I should look at her with forgiveness, that it was the only way to move on, that it was what my parents would have wanted. I thought I could do it. Then I saw her, and I froze. I couldn’t think, I couldn’t even blink.” 

Pulling the car over into the first spot he found, Thorin came around to her side to crouch next to her and run his hand over her legs.

The pain of losing family couldn’t be stopped, but he could help mitigate it if she let him. Losing his mother, grandfather, and, for years, his father had nearly destroyed him. Family was the center of his life, what he fought for even when he had given up on his own future. He hated the thought of Bella in that kind of pain again. 

“What did you do?” 

“When I could finally think again, I couldn’t turn my brain off. I imagined twenty different ways of killing her. One of my best plans of my career came when I was figuring out how to sneak into the prison to make her life miserable in her cell. After I left the room, I managed to come back to myself, but I’m not the same. Realizing that I am capable of so much violence, me who is terrified of guns, is not a fun epiphany,” she said in a low voice, finally meeting his gaze. “I know you’re strong, Thorin, that you’ve faced much worse than I can imagine, but this will change you.” 

He didn’t say anything. Visualizing revenge wasn’t a one-time thing for him. It had been his hobby for years. 

Bella nodded as if she read his mind. “You might think you know what you’ll do, and I can tell you until the cows come home that you don’t. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, change is the only thing we can count on in life. I want to be there for you when that happens, as an anchor, as an advocate, even as a target.” 

“You won’t lose me, Bella, even if I change.” 

Her breath smelled like mint tea as she exhaled sharply. “I made a mess of this explanation, but that’s okay. One day we’ll both figure out what I meant. I…The short answer to your question is that I love you, Thorin, and I’m not letting you do this alone.” 

“I love you, too.” Rising a few inches, Thorin kissed her. 

“Come on, dinner first,” she murmured a while later. 

Focused on her heat, Thorin had to think longer than he should to figure out what she meant. “Bella, I don’t have to go tonight.” 

Each night he went to the hospital to sit with his father. Thrain was stable, though still unconscious, and Thorin needed the sight to reassure himself that this was real. That his father was back. And, if he were honest, he needed the time to figure out what he was going to say to him if Thrain woke up. How do you explain over a decade apart that had been filled with so much pain? 

A sharp look. 

“Alright, alright. Bossy woman.” He stole one more moment in the haven of her mouth before he drove them back to her house. Her hand rested on his thigh, and Thorin covered her small palm with his, suddenly desperate to never let her go. 

This was too much. His father, back. An actual lead against Smaug. Bella’s strange words. How quickly and deeply he had fallen for her…Thorin didn’t know how to process it all. 

After years of living only for his work, with brief flashes of joy in his nephews, this barrage of emotions and vicious hope was akin to emerging from a solitary confinement only to walk straight into a flash mob. 

“I’ll be right in,” Thorin said when he stopped in her driveway. 

Bella, bless her, just kissed his cheek and hopped out. She had taken the day off work to come with him today, and Frodo was due home any minute. 

Closing his eyes, Thorin sorted through the vortex within him. 

How long it took, he wasn’t sure. He didn’t resolve everything. That would require large amounts of alcohol and a couch with creepy dolls. But he managed to wrestle the writhing mass into submission. 

When Thrain woke up, then he could figure out what to say to his father. There was no use worrying about that reunion until it happened. 

This opportunity against Smaug couldn’t be missed. The witnesses and arrested men had no concrete evidence against him, he kept his operations too compartmentalized. This, though, had promise. They needed time to organize and to plan. Those were things he knew how to handle. 

And Bella…She was unexpected, but she was at the center of the storm, the one thing that didn’t budge or hurt. Whatever everything else came to, he had found his true future. 

A laugh erupted from his chest, startling Thorin as he opened his eyes.

His future currently stood outside his car in the form of a curly haired boy in a backpack and a beautiful young woman, both of whom stood with Nerf guns in hand, evil grins stretching their faces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought it important to do some emotion catch-up after how things have progressed. Hope you enjoyed the slower-paced chapter. 
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me so far. Much more to come!


	24. Preparations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are set in motion. Houses are abused.

Erebor was such a seminal building in both the city’s history and that of the architect that Smaug had to allow routine tours or risk vicious public backlash. The tour guide in charge today had been doing this for twenty years, back when Erebor was run by the Durinson family, and she had never encountered someone as interested in the architecture and history as this young mother who held the hand of her young song. Both had wild curls and bright smiles beneath their ball caps that advertised the beaches of the Gray Havens. 

It was nice to see out of towners taking such an interest in the city. And it was good to see that art such as this building was appreciated by the younger generations. 

The tour guide did her best to answer the questions, and she found herself remembering a story she hadn’t thought of in nearly fifteen years, a story she didn’t believe though her uncle’s cousin’s stepson swore was true. 

“There’s always been a rumor that there is a secret passage in the building, and there probably is. Old structures like this always had escape routes for their owners and their money. Most people believe it’s located somewhere in the Gray Stone up there where a helicopter could pick up those in need of a quick exit. But someone once told me that it’s not up the Stone but down. My uncle’s cousin’s stepson swore that when he was walking by, right around the time of the attempted art heist of ’04, he saw that bird mosaic over there at the base split down the middle and three men pop out of the ground. He said that the escape route was a tunnel.” 

The young woman looked suitably impressed. “Do you believe him?” 

She laughed. “No, ma’am. When the police investigated the art heist—the thieves tried to steal an original Celebrimbor from a safety deposit box—they checked for a tunnel and found nothing. They did, however, find a door on the fifth floor that wouldn’t open. Not even for a locksmith.” 

“It’s a puzzle!” The little boy spoke up. 

“Exactly, sweetheart. Thank you for your time, ma’am.” 

“Thank you!” The boy chirped with a bright smile. 

The tour guide smiled. “Any time. I enjoyed talking with you. If you’re in town for a few days, I would suggest a trip to Moria. The opera house is another architectural wonder.” 

The woman and her son waved as they walked back into the crowd, deep in discussion about whether ice cream or popsicles were better for Saturdays. 

 

Ten more minutes until break. Ten more minutes. 

The maintenance man of Erebor groaned when he saw a person open his office door. Couldn’t have waited ten more minutes. He couldn’t deal with another clogged toilet or dead light bulb. Honestly, this was an office building with only half the floors occupied. How much damage could these people do to the bathrooms in one day? 

Then he saw the beautiful woman smiling at him and suddenly he didn’t mind the interruption so much. 

“Hi, can I help you?” 

“Yes, please.” She gave him a rueful smile. “I’m a little lost. The receptionist pointed me in this direction, but you don’t look like an accountant.” 

She was smartly dressed, a little librarian-esque, but with a spark that made him imagine all the ways he could unbutton her proper look. 

He couldn’t speak for every guy, but the librarian thing was a popular fantasy. 

“No ma’am. Who exactly are you looking for? I know this building better than anyone.” He rose to shake her hand. 

It must be an important meeting she was heading for. Her palm was cold and almost chalky. 

“Umm....” Her hand disappeared into her purse, shuffled around for a few minutes, and reappeared with a card in her hand. “Mr. Lugburz.” 

“Ah, right this way.” He led her down the hallway. When he turned back to try an opening line that might charm her into dinner with him, he found only empty tile. 

It was a straight line. How did she get lost already? 

Maybe something fell out of her purse in his office. 

The maintenance man backtracked. Nope, no sign of her. 

Huh. Maybe she forgot something in her car. 

He waited a few minutes, but she never showed. 

Damn. Ah, well. It was time for his break anyway. 

 

Arnor City saw a number of strange burglaries over the next week. A construction site lost a crowbar and PVC pipe. One landscaping business lost a few stone pavers. An auto body shop lost a drive shaft for a Ford F150. A jeweler thought he misplaced his ring sizing tool and extra golden leaf, a symptom of his desire to retire he thought though he never found the items. A centrifuge and bulk acetic acid went missing from a biology lab. Also, a treasure hunter lost his metal detector in that week. Several other people had things taken, but never noticed it. 

The theft unit of Arnor PD didn’t connect the dots between the minor burglaries because what on earth did those items have in common? The owners filed a police report before going online to replace the pieces. None had sentimental value anyway. 

One of Smaug’s businesses was hit, and as per protocol, the boss was notified. Not even Smaug saw the importance of a missing grandfather clock. He punished the shop owner, and bought a better one to replace it. 

 

“Alright.” Bella breezed into Thorin’s study at his house, set one hip on the edge of his desk, and pinned him with that deep gaze. “I have a plan. But you aren’t going to like it.” 

He glanced up from his thousandth time looking over the blueprints of Erebor. Thorin hadn’t let them out of his reach for any real length of time all week. “Hello to you too, darling. What’s the plan?” 

Bella told him. 

Thorin punched a hole in the wall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not an April Fool's prank if you're in a timezone ahead of me, thank goodness. 
> 
> Things are about to get going. Sorry this has taken so long. I'm working on the next bit, but trying to do Bella's genius justice might take a bit of time. So here is something to tide you over until I decide next steps. 
> 
> As always, thank you for reading and be sure to let me know what you think about our favorite duo!


	25. Open Mouth. Insert Foot. Repeat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin attempts to work through some emotions. Spoiler alert, it doesn't go well.

The beeping of the heart monitor soothed Thorin where it once annoyed it. Constant, steady, and insistent. It showed that his father was still alive. There was some hope, no matter how small, that Thrain might one day woke up.

None of the doctors could explain it. Thrain’s brain scans showed activity and recorded understanding when Thorin or Dis spoke to him, but he didn’t wake up. The doctors couldn’t offer a scientific explanation, but they gave anecdotes. They told Thorin and his sister to keep talking to Thrain, give him a reason to wake up, to keep fighting.

So every night, Thorin drove to the hospital, took the elevator to the fifth floor, walked down the chilly hallway to room 5401. He set fresh flowers on the nightstand in the plastic vase to remind his father of the bouquets Mother used to place on the dinner table each night.

“Bella and I had a fight tonight,” he told Thrain, settling into the halfway comfortable chair by the window. “A bad one.”

Beep. Beep. Beep.

He blew out a harsh breath. “It started out as nothing. Some stupid disagreement over whether a dish could go in the dishwasher. Then it somehow exploded into a fight about moving in together and how reckless she is with her second job. I want her to quit, hell I don’t really want her involved with Smaug at all, but she’s so damn stubborn!”

Beep. Beep. Beep.

“She said that my job is equally as dangerous and she only works with clients when she needs money. So I told her to marry me and then she’d never have to worry about money again. I mean, we aren’t as rich as we were growing up, but Dis has money put away so the boys can go to college and have a safety net afterward. We can still buy a Porsche if we want, though that would be rather dumb.” Thorin closed his eyes.

He was so fucking exhausted. Working all his cases, countering Smaug as he tried to come after them again, and attempting to have a normal life with Bella, Frodo, and his nephews demanded more hours than there were in a day. Maybe his temper had been a little short tonight, and so was hers under the stress of planning to steal the Arkenstone.

But why hadn’t she agreed with his plan? She loved him, there was no questioning that, and she knew he would never abandon her or Frodo. Did she think he couldn’t protect them? Was it pride about the money?

“You’re an idiot, son.” Thrain’s raspy voice intruded on his musings. It had been years, but Thorin still knew each cadence. He would sit at his father’s office door to listen to Thrain cajole clients or lay down the law before he came to tell them a bedtime story about Durin.

He stared at his father, but Thrain’s eyes were closed and his monitor remained steady.

Great. He was so tired he was imagining things.

Might as well roll with it.

“How so?”

Lips moving a millimeter with each syllable, Thrain spoke. “Because you told her that you want to marry her for solely monetary reasons. Romance, son, is not dead.”

“Mahal above!” Thorin breathed. “Dad?”

“No, this is your great-aunt Gertrude. Who do I look like?”

Thorin fell to his knees next to the bed, holding Thrain’s hand in a shaking grasp. “I…I…”

“Good to know all that money I spent on college was put to good use.” His smile was minute, but Thorin caught it. “It’s going to be alright, son.”

He bowed his head, tears tracing his cheeks. On top of everything else, it was too much to process.

Years he had been the Atlas of his family. Dis and Frerin, he decreed would have their own lives; Erebor was his mess to settle. Even with Bella, he hadn’t shared the weight of his legacy, too afraid it would crush her or that it would somehow be a failure of his family if he couldn’t manage it on his own like his father had, his grandfather, and Durin himself.

To have his father’s quiet reassurance, to know he understood…Thorin felt human again, a regular man who could breathe without guilt and responsibility poisoning his lungs.

“I…I’ve missed you, Dad.”

Thrain’s grip was weak; nevertheless, it was reassuring. “Me too, son.”

Wiping at his eyes, Thorin cleared his throat. “Let me call Dis. You should meet your grandchildren. As soon as Frerin has internet, we'll Skype him too.”

“And this woman of yours. She sounds feisty.”

“That’s the understatement of the year.”

A quiet knock prevented Thorin from reaching for his phone. Must be a doctor, probably reading some scan. “Yes? Mahal, Bella, are you telepathic?”

Soft green eyes smiled at him though her face was still pale. “I can neither confirm nor deny that.”

He held out a hand, needing her to anchor him. “Come here. Dad wants to meet you.”

“He’s awake? Hello, sir. It’s nice to know where your son gets his stubbornness.” Bella smiled at Thrain, shaking his paper-skinned hand with enough strength he gave her an approving nod.

“It is part of the familial charm, though I think you are giving him a run for his money.”

Thorin soaked in her warmth, half afraid she was going to bolt. She had hardly signed up for his mess of a legacy when he asked her out. “Did you need something, darling?”

“I was just going to tell you something, but it can wait. Do you want me to call Dis?”

“Please.”

“Be right back.” She rose onto her toes to kiss his cheek, smiled at Thrain, and padded out to the hallway.

His father chuckled, the sound raspy but heartfelt. “Your mother would have loved her. She always could talk me around to whatever she wanted, and she could read me like a book.”

Yeah, now that he thought about it, Thorin had lost more arguments than he won with Bella. She still stole, though with more safety measures, she still worked against Smaug, she still refused to let him buy her a new car. It wasn’t that she was her way or the highway, but Bella preferred the middle road to his tendency toward the extreme, and she was so independent she could be America’s mascot.

“I don’t know what to do with her,” he admitted. “And I don’t just mean this fiasco with Smaug.”

“Then you’re still an idiot. You just love her, son, and either that’s enough or it isn’t.” Thrain closed his eyes. “Wake me when your sister comes.”

Ah, yes. He had forgotten how warm and fuzzy his father was.

When Bella returned, he took her hand and led her on a slow circuit of the hallway. Somehow moving felt like he accomplished something, that he could avoid his tangled thoughts for a moment.

“I’m sorry,” Bella said out of the blue.

Thorin jolted. “For what?”

“For walking away angry tonight. I just…I don’t deal well with confrontation and retreating is all I know. I should never have left when things weren’t resolved.”

The bitter taste in his mouth eased. “I don’t mind if you need to go to a different room to regroup, but don’t leave the house next time.”

“I won’t.”

“Thank you,” he said. “I was wrong too. I shouldn’t have yelled like that.”

It was damned awful of him, actually. He knew about her history with Gollum. He knew she had flashbacks at raised male voices. Running away from a fight was self-preservation for her. Most times he could control his temper, but she had been yelling just as much as he had…and he forgot.

Mahal, she should have slugged him.

“Shit, Bella, I am so sorry.”

“I know you would never hurt me, Thorin. It was more that I scared myself. I just…” She looked around for a moment as though searching for the right words. “Can you believe we’ve only known each other a few months? You’ve proposed—sort of—twice to me already, and Frodo is attached to you. When we were arguing and you made that dumbass proposition of marriage for financial reason—“

He winced. “I didn’t mean that I only want to marry you for that.”

“I know.” She squeezed his hand. “But it was still dumb. Anyway, the part that scared me is that I wanted to say yes. Then and there even though you were asking for all the wrong reasons. I didn’t care, I just wanted you. It panicked me. I’m not a person to be swayed by emotions. I like my house, my routine, working through things with logic.

“Then you come along and somehow I don’t panic when you shake things up. _That_ makes me panic. The argument was just an excuse, I guess, for me to push back against my own fears. And that’s not fair to you.”

Thorin watched a young doctor fight with the coffee machine for a moment. He gave it a helpful kick on the way past, and liquid gurgled to life.

“Bless you,” the kid said.

Give him a thousand years and Thorin would never be able to come up with such a mature, coherent analysis of his feelings. He just shoved them behind doors in his mind.

But he owed it to Bella to try.

Right, he could do this. Tell her that he didn't care if it had been months or years, he would always feel this way about her. That he didn't mind her panic as long as she talked to him. That they would figure this out and he could be a little less controlling. Probably.

So what came out of his mouth?

“Bella, will you marry me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Emotional plot in this update, but I promise, the next one will be action packed!  
> I'm hoping to get another chapter out before the end of April, but if I fail, look for the first part of May. 
> 
> Much love!


	26. Choices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bella responds to the question

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I know I promised action in the next update. But then this happened. However, the next chapter (which I am uploading in just a minute!) is action packed, I swear it!

This would be the best place to strangle a person, Bella decided, if you didn’t really want to kill them. Doctors and nurses milled around who could pull her off and then repair the damage she did to her boyfriend.

Deep breaths.

“Thorin…” Hadn’t she just said not to propose for arbitrary reasons? She wouldn’t marry him for his money or because he was scared he would lose her.

The turmoil in his taut shoulders and brittle gaze eased her annoyance. With his father waking up, the demands of his job, and his worry for his nephews, she couldn’t imagine what was going on in his head.

“Why?” she asked instead of telling him to stop being ridiculous.

He blinked. “You’re not mad?”

“I think you’re a bit of an idiot, but no, I’m not mad. It’s never a bad thing to know that the man you love wants to marry you.”

“Because I love you.”

Bella shot her elbow into her ribs. “Don’t be dense. Why did you ask now?”

“I had yet to realize abuse was in my near future,” he said, voice lightening a notch.

She snorted.

They walked another circuit before Thorin spoke again. Well, at least he was giving it some thought.

“It’s true. The root of my question was love. More immediately it’s because I need you. Even on the days when nothing happens, it’s just another day at work and we don’t have anything planned for the evening, I want to see you. Need to see you. You anchor me, Bella. Remind me that it’s okay to laugh. And now, when I’m surrounded by water that is fathoms deep, I’m not drowning because I have you. Comfort, love, hope, that’s what you are to me. You push me to be a better person, to never give into the blackness that haunts me. I’ve known all this for a while now, but tonight…I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I want you, Bella, and I want you know it’s permanent for me,” he said. The sentences came slowly but with a surety that gave them weight. Power.

Bella stared up at his profile, the beloved strong lines, the first gray hairs lightening his temples, that stubborn jut of his chin. Tears clogged her throat.

Growing up with books as her closest friends, Bella had been surrounded by tales of mythic love. It had been a bitter realization to understand that most times love didn’t work like that in real life. Men didn’t take up arms to fight the Grim Reaper himself for one more day with their love, and women didn’t sacrifice themselves to an eternity of never ending cold for just one smile from their love.

Instead people loved in waves, in contentment without continual passion. People loved and then forgot, living together for years without realizing it was okay to want more. Some made the effort to fall in love with their significant other every day, understanding people changed with time. But how many loved each laugh, each mistake, each crusade the way they did in tales that spoke of a love with a power to rival that of the sun, the stars, the moon?

Too few.

After she left Gollum, when the hospital discharged her, Bella went home to Bag End and sat in the library. It had been her parents’ favorite room, and after they died, she hadn’t changed a thing. She didn’t have the heart to alter any part of their memory.

That day, however, when she needed comfort and security more than she needed to forget, Bella climbed the bookcase ladder to the top nook with its dusty mattress and blankets. She curled up with an old favorite: _The Histories of Hobbiton_. As she arranged herself, Bella’s elbow hit the sideboard, making a hollow thump. Curious, she teased open the wood to find a half-finished manuscript.

The handwriting wasn’t her father’s neat, plodding letters; it was an untidy scroll that adorned all Bella’s inherited recipes. Her mother had written this.

It was the story of Luthien. Of Elwing. Of Nimrodel. It was not a story of Luthien and Beren, nor was it of Elwing and Eärendil, of Nimrodel and Amroth, because it was not a story about love.

It was a story of choice.

Today, Luthien was little more than Aphrodite, her name adorning the bestselling lingerie brand. Elwing was criticized for abandoning her children. Nimrodel was a weeping, flighty wraith. Retellings of their stories reduced the women and even their men to a one-dimensional concept that fit neatly inside a box.

What Bella realized, from her mother’s story, from the women, was that love is not a panacea for the bruises soaking your heart in green and purple. It does not save you.

Love reminds you that you are worth saving.

It is a choice to give up on jagged, useless wishing for a fictitious bandage for the ache of living. It is a choice to understand that love is a fluid entity that requires belief to become a solid foundation. It is a choice to stand before the gates of Mandos demanding a second chance, to weigh losing everything you hold sacred against the future of thousands, to fade from memory just to grieve in private so no one twist what once was good into blame and bitterness.

Love, these women and her mother had found, was the brace against your bones as you carried cities on your back, as you erased the ink of headlines with your own blood to tell your story your way.

Now, when Bella could feel those journal pages as ghosts in her hands, in the middle of this desiccated, sterile hospital, she understood the last piece those stories had been telling her.

Together, she and Thorin could face anything. Because they loved, because they _believed_.

Yes, love was a part of it, but it did not fill her hands. It did not chop vegetables or make a living or tease a smile from Thorin when he thundered. It would not stop her from bending under the weight of worries, of simple time.

It _would_ keep her from breaking.

Laughter, arguments, day to day boredom would strengthen her vertebrae because she and Thorin made the choice to believe, to love.

Luthien hadn’t braved the Halls of the Dead because Beren thought she was beautiful; she did it because he made her feel comfortable as a whole person, capable and strong, not just pretty.

Elwing didn’t run that desperate race to the ship because she wanted to cement her tale in the storybooks; she ran because she believed that together she and her husband could change the tide of the war.

Amroth did not battle the waves to prove his love; he did it because a future with Nimrodel was worth the risk.

“Yes.”

“—and you are the—What?” He stopped walking to look at her fully. “Yes to what?”

Whoops. He had been talking while her mind raced a mile a minute.

“Yes, I will marry you.”

A wizened old man in a wheelchair with a cane across his lap whizzed down the tiled hallway. He cackled at he passed, hands a blur on his wheels. He whacked a stupefied Thorin with the cane. “At least get down on one knee, sonny! Best do it properly before I steal your whippersnapper away from you.”

Bella laughed. It was far from her imagined scenarios, but she wouldn’t have it any other way.

From his pocket, Thorin pulled out a simple black box. He dropped to one knee, smiling at her blinked surprise. “I’ve been carrying it for weeks. Bella Baggins, will you marry me? Build your life with me? You are my constant reminder of why life is worth living, why I do what I do. Whatever you need from me, you’ll have it. Even a constant companion to any and all of Denethor’s plays. I hear next year’s will be about a disembodied eyeball with a superiority complex, and I can’t wait to suffer through it with you.”

“Yes. To all of it. Even the play.” She nodded, tears cascading down her cheeks, over her smile. Now she understood what everyone meant when they said they were ‘incandescent’ with happiness.

A deep, princess cut emerald, encased in rose gold, graced a scrollwork band, bracketed by two, smaller opals that gleamed like wildfire even under the fluorescent lights. Thorin slipped the ring onto her shaking finger, and pulled her down for a kiss that sent lightning streaking through her veins.

“We’ll be the next story,” she murmured against his neck an eon later. “Another one people won’t understand, but they will feel it all the way to their soul anyway.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I waxed a little poetic, but I hope you liked this chapter!  
> Off to upload the next, wild one. Let's just say Thorin would make a good driver of an Iditarod race team.


	27. Donkey Kong and Tony Hawk Team Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bella and Thorin learn there are cheaper alternatives to ski slopes if you want to race down hills

Thorin didn’t understand what Bella meant by that, but it didn’t matter. He liked the thought of always having something to understand and uncover about his wife.

Wife.

That was something he would never get sick of hearing or thinking.

He kissed away her tears. They started walking back to his father’s room, hand in hand. Thorin rubbed his thumb over the ring that now accented Bella’s finger. He had measured her finger in her sleep to have his grandmother’s wedding ring resized. It had been in his pocket ever since their _Casablanca_ night, just waiting for the right moment.

It was debatable, perhaps, that this was the moment, but Bella’s smile could light a small city during a power outage.

Mahal above, this was perfect.

A smile that suddenly went out when they turned the last corner. Two men stood at the nurses’ desk, chatting with the three yawning women at their computers.

If Bella wasn’t squeezing the blood from his fingers, Thorin wouldn’t have given them a second glance. They were just bored visitors talking to pretty, young women. Not even his cop’s instincts were tickled.

“Darling?”

“Those men were guards at the Castle,” she murmured.

Tilting his head back, Thorin glared at the ceiling. He wasn’t asking for a full day, just an _evening_ of peace. Apparently, the universe thought that was too much to give them.

“Alright. Let’s go to the room. We can better defend ourselves there if it comes to that. I’ll call in Dwalin for backup and reroute Dis,” he said, swallowing a growl.

Bella nodded. “Grab that oxygen tank as we walk by. I hope we won’t need it, but I have an idea.”

“Great. I’m going to marry MacGyver.” But he smiled. Always a surprise, his Bella.

She leaned into him for a moment. “Now there’s a phrase I like.”

“Me too, darling.” Thorin snuck one more kiss before they strolled to Thrain’s room. He felt the men’s eyes shift as he snagged the oxygen tank though no one commented on it.

As they pushed open Thrain’s door and walked inside, he saw both men tense.

Shit. If they mishandled this, it could be a bloodbath. The walls here were not thick. Any stray bullets could fly off and hit innocents.

“They must have a mole in the hospital. I only told the doctors about Dad twenty minutes ago. No way it’s hit the news yet.”

“I’m more surprised that no one has tried to kill him in his sleep than that he’s being watched,” she said. “They must have not thought he would wake up.”

“Hope, I suppose,” Thorin mused. “We have it. Smaug and his ilk do not.”

“A fool’s hope may change the course of the future,” Bella reminded him.

“Good thing we don’t have a lick of common sense, then.” He barricaded the door with the couch and handed her the knife from his pocket.

Thrain woke up, cracking open one eye. “I was hoping for the Brute Squad, not Westley and Buttercup.”

“They are off storming the castle. Beauty and brawn is what you’re stuck with,” Bella informed him tartly.

He chortled beneath his breath. “Welcome to the family, Buttercup.”

She kissed his cheek before setting to work on the oxygen tank. “Get some sleep, Miracle Max. We’ll take care of this.”

“And miss the show? I’m excited for the explosions and gun slinging.”

Mahal help Thorin. Now there were two of them.

Shaking his head, Thorin dialed his sister. “Dis, turn around. There’s trouble at the hospital. Call in Oin. We’re bringing Dad to the house.”

“You’re not in the military any longer, brother dear.” Tires screeched in the background. “A _please_ now and again won’t kill you. I’ll send Dwalin to you. Please try not to get any blood on your shirt. It so disrupts dessert.” She hung up.

Scratch that. Now there were _three_ of them.

“I need a way to see what’s going on out there,” Thorin said. “Darling, do you have a mirror or a—“

A compact landed in his hand.

Mahal, he loved her.

Thorin tore the plastic molding from the wall, borrowed back his knife, cut off a long strip, and attached it to the mirror half of the compact he broke (with a silent promise to buy Bella a new one) with a glob of gum he found under the sink and quickly rehydrated. Lying on his stomach, he fed the mirror beneath the door and used the molding to manipulate it across the floor.

The two men had the nurses tied up behind the desks. They assembled three guns each that had been broken down to look like parts of a knee brace, undoubtedly to get the weapons through security.

Six magazines each. Armor piercing rounds.

This door wouldn’t hold up for long.

“We need another exit,” he told Bella as she came over.

“We’re five floors up, and your father can’t walk.”

He nodded. “Alright. Then we need a distraction. We’ll wheel Dad out.”

“Not to the elevators. They’re too vulnerable. Let me think.” She chewed on her lip for a moment. “Okay. The main stairs between levels are the broadest, the easiest to get his bed down.”

“Too exposed.” Thorin would run out of ammo before they hit the stairs if their distraction didn’t work.

“Hmm. Okay, then we’ll have to take the stairs that match up to the parking garage. We just have to go down half a flight and then we can wheel him down the sloped parking levels. Tight quarters, all concrete, but the doors can be jammed. I came up that way and was almost locked out.”

“Where did you park? I’m on the second level.”

“Third, but there’s no way we can all fit in my car.”

He grinned. “Darling, after this, I’m buying you a minivan.”

An eye roll, but her lips twitched. “Alright. Your car it is. Let’s see. How do you want to get out? The tank will give us one heck of an explosion, but it will also start a fire.”

“Then we play some Donkey Kong.” He stood.

She blinked several times before throwing her head back in laughter. “Oh, Thorin. I am such a bad influence on you. I love it.”

They moved quickly. Disconnecting Thrain from the monitors was the last thing they did, worried a nurse would come in to check and get in the way. Bella wheeled Thrain and the IV into the bathroom, and she closed the door halfway.

Thorin pulled the couch back to use as cover, set the oxygen tank on its side, held it still with the rest of the plastic molding, and crouched behind it.

One minute….two…three…

Bullets shattered the thin wood doors, ricocheting around the room.

Idiots, Thorin snarled to himself as he covered his head with his hands. Cover fire was all well and good, but at least hit what you aim for. The ceiling had more holes in it than the couch did.

The doors burst open. He heard two pairs of footsteps, counted them three steps in, and jumped up.

Going for the center of mass to slow them down, Thorin fired two rounds. Shrieks covered the sounds of squeaking wheels as Bella shoved the bed forward and tore out of the room.

As soon as she was clear, Thorin yanked the oxygen tank free. He jumped over the couch and followed it as the bleeding men were taken down at the knees. Leaping over their forms, he raced after Bella.

In all likelihood, there was another team waiting in the hallway or in the parking garage to ensure the job had been completed. Two to three people went in while a sweeper waited in the wings in case the others died. No way in hell he was letting Bella face that by herself.

There wouldn’t be anything left of the sweeper to question.

Nurses stared at him as he emerged.

“Get everyone clear. Call the police.” He flashed his badge. “Tell them we have two armed hostiles. Then barricade yourselves behind a locked door until they arrive.”

Jerky nods.

It was the most he could do. Smaug’s ilk weren’t exactly known for avoiding collateral damage, but he had a feeling these men would come after him for putting holes in their shoulders first.

He caught up to Bella in the stairwell. She had navigated Thrain’s bed down the first three steps to the landing, but she wasn’t hefty enough to keep the bed from tipping or the IV from flying loose down the next ten. So she was in the midst of building a ramp from a gurney.

“Here. Quick.” He grabbed the end of the bed and hauled it down the half-flight to the parking garage door.

Bella abandoned her ramp. She hurried around him to open the door, check the surroundings, and nod. “I hear a car idling above us. I don’t think we have much time.”

Loud voices came from the stairs.

“I don’t think we have any. We need to move.” Thorin handed her the IV, and he took a hold of Thrain’s bed. “Hold on, Dad.”

“Wait! One second.” Bella disappeared. She returned momentarily with two gurneys and four lengths of rope she pulled from her purse.

Before he could puzzle it out, she had roped one gurney to the left side of the bed, the other to the right. Then she made a steering rig of sorts across the back of the whole thing. “I see your Donkey Kong one, and raise you a Tony Hawk.”

If they didn’t break their necks, it would be a miracle. Thorin waited until she stood on her sled with a tight grip on the bracing rope before he set off at a run.

Gravity worked in their favor as the bed picked up momentum down the sloped ramp of the garage. Thorin had to jump on the gurney-sled before the whole contraption ran away from him.

“Whooooooo!” Thrain cried as loudly as he could. “Now this was worth staying alive for!”

He grinned. “Amen to that.”

Bella just closed her eyes, muttering, “I don’t like this. Why did you let me do this? I don’t like this.”

That made him chuckle. Wild though she might be, Bella still wasn’t convinced on high-adrenaline situations like this.

“How do we steer this?” he hollered over his father’s laughter.

“I didn’t think that far ahead!”

Shit. The turn down to the next level was fast approaching.

“Lean! Lean to your left!”

They threw their weight to one side, yanking on the bed railing. With a gut-wrenching swing, their vehicle swayed in a wide arc around the corner. Wheels peeled off the pavement. Thorin almost toppled off his sled. He scrambled to find his balance, reaching out one hand to steady Bella.

“How are we going to stop?” she cried.

Good fucking question. Between their weights and the steep slope of the pavement, they were fast approaching out of control speeds. If they hit something, all three of them would go flying. They had to find a way to break.

“Jam the wheels! The next level is my car,” he said.

“Jam the wheels…jam the wheels…Ah!” One hand on the railing to brace herself, Bella leaned down to untie the rope holding her sled to the bed.

The heat from friction began to bleed through the plastic. Soon Thorin would have flaming feet or he wouldn’t have a gurney left to stand on.

“If we don’t jam both wheels at the same time, we’re going to flip.”

“I’ll pull my side to a stop. Just give me a countdown.”

Bella surfed her way to the front, pulling herself along the edge of the bed. “Ready?”

Thorin jumped off. He ran alongside, one hand on the plastic frame. “Ready.”

“Three…two…one!” Leaping off, she rammed the gurney into the front wheel.

With enough force that his arm muscles burned, Thorin heaved.

Thrain jolted from the bed. He didn’t have the strength to hold himself in. Bella threw herself over his fragile form, pinning him to the bed.

They skidded around in sickening circles. His arms almost ripped from his sockets. Thorin’s feet jerked over each and every bump, but the bed slowed.

The mattress bumped into the rear of a Mercedes E-class. They stopped.

All of them sounded as though they had just run a marathon. Thorin’s hands shook as he let go of the bed. He remembered how to breathe normally as he helped Bella to her feet. “Everyone alright?”

“Peachy. You are a treat, my dear Buttercup,” Thrain cackled.

Bella buried her face against his shirt. “The next time I have an idea, knock me out cold.”

He pressed a kiss into her hair. “I thought it was a good one.”

“Crazy. Your whole family.”

They took two steps away from the car when the alarm went off. Blaring, lighted, and impossible to miss, it was a beacon straight to them.

“Wonderful,” Bella muttered.

They hurried to his hybrid SUV. Thorin popped the back to wedge the IV in. He picked up his father, worried once again at how fragile he was, and laid him down so the line didn’t pull the needle from his arm.

Bella jumped in shotgun, rummaging in her purse. “Alright. I have another idea.”

Laughing, Thorin threw the car in reverse and floored it. “Lay it on me, darling.”

The car blasted out of the parking garage. A thief or not, Bella was still civic minded. She tossed money out of the window at the parking attendant with a “sorry!” as Thorin rammed his way through the barricade.

“We need to lose them in traffic. The sweeper won’t be far behind,” he said, wrenching the wheel to the left.

Sure enough, a black SUV flew over the ruined gate not fifteen seconds behind them.

Bella rolled her window down again, leaned out, and threw something onto the road behind them.

The car swerved, but not fast enough to avoid her trap.

BOOM! The front two tires blew.

Thorin watched the car topple precariously in his rear view mirror before he rounded the next curve.

CRASH!

“What on earth is that bag, a magical door into a thief’s storage locker?”

She winked. “I prefer to think of myself like Mary Poppins. Always prepared. I’ve never had to use those as I do my best to avoid car chases, but with all that is going on, I thought it best to carry them.”

“Caltrops?” Thrain asked.

“No, sir. They are sharpened LEGO pieces. I got the idea after stepping on a few of Frodo’s toys.”

As they resumed normal speeds, Thorin reached over to catch her hand. He brought it up for a kiss. “My evil genius.”

She blushed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoo! Two updates this week. 
> 
> Be sure to let me know what you think! 
> 
> Much love!


	28. Not Long Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin and Frodo attempt a school project, and Bella receives another piece of the puzzle

“Are you sure you don’t want to wait for your aunt?” Thorin asked, staring at the paper with no small amount of trepidation.

Dark curls bouncing, Frodo shook his head. “I’m sure. Auntie said she’d be home late. I need these for school.”

“Okay. We’ll give it a shot.” Surely they could bake one batch of cookies without the world ending.

Or poising someone.

Probably?

Famous last words.

Looking back on the afternoon in later times, Thorin never could find an acceptable explanation for how both ended up whiter than ghosts, the oven produced copious amounts of smoke (though there was nothing in it; it just sensed fear), and half the bag of chocolate chips mysteriously disappeared. That last one was a real puzzler as Thorin got them both a glass of milk to wash down the rich taste in their mouths.

“Do you have to _bake_ them?” he asked. “We could run to the store, and no one will ever know.”

Frodo surveyed the horror in front of him. “Mrs. Proudfoot just said cookies.”

“Brilliant. Let me grab my keys. We’ll go grab some and clean up before Bella comes ho—“

“Hello?” The front door opened, Bella’s rich voice wafting in. “Anyone home?”

The boys froze, eyes swinging to the counters. The kitchen, Bella’s beloved, neat, _clean_ kitchen was the scene of a baking murder. And if she saw it like this, it was soon to be the scene of _their_ murders.

“Go distract her,” Thorin whispered. “I’ll take care of this.”

Frodo raced out, a puff of white dust marking his wake. “Auntie! I’m a ghost! Mr. Denethor wants me to be in his next play.”

Chuckling under his breath, Thorin reached for the broom. That kid was going places.

Despite Frodo’s best efforts, Bella found the kitchen before he managed to do more than clear the floor. Those magical green eyes went wide. The horror swirling in their depths was so palpable, Thorin could do more than wince.

He braced himself. All his years of dealing with women told him this would not end well, and who could blame her?

“Did you save any chocolate for me?” she asked after a moment.

Wait. What?

Frodo handed her the last of the chips. “Always, Auntie. Can we- _May_ we go get cookies for school?”

“Sure. We can grab dinner while we’re out. I…err…don’t think cooking here is a good idea. Then, when we get home—“

“We’ll have this cleaned up in a jiffy,” Thorin promised. Frodo nodded vigorously, dislodging flour from his hair.

Bella came over for a kiss hello. Thorin pulled her close, smoothing his thumb over the ring on her finger.

 _His_ ring.

Mahal, that thought never got old.

They had been engaged a week. Only Frodo was more excited than Dis. He had taken to calling Fili and Kili his cousins, and he asked Thorin to tell him a bedtime story each night he stayed over.

For his part, Thorin couldn’t wait to be a family in the truest sense of the word. As much as he wanted to plan taking down Smaug, he was almost as eager to plan their wedding. Or, if he could convince Bella, their elopement. She was his, he was hers, and he wanted the whole world to know it.

Bella brought her lips to his before she pulled back, giggling. “Floury.”

Thorin and Frodo tromped out to the backyard where they beat the worst of the dust off themselves. The white slowly retreated until they resembled human beings again. When Bella deemed them presentable, they piled into his car and headed for town.

While the others found a table, Thorin went to flag down a waiter. Fangorn was the best organic restaurant in town, but it wasn’t exactly known for its speed. If you didn’t find a waiter when you walked in, you could be waiting weeks just to order drinks.

After a long search and an equally long existential discussion with the waitress (who refused to follow him until he considered her question about whether or not plants are sentient), Thorin returned to the others. At the booth, a man, who was notable only for his nondescript appearance, talked with Bella. He handed her something, traded spit handshakes with Frodo, and left.

“I was beginning to think the chef had commandeered you to be our meal tonight,” Bella said as he sat down.

Hand on her knee, Thorin kissed her temple. “I was defending the rights of vegetarians everywhere. Who was that?”

“An old friend. Bofur. I think I’ve mentioned him before. He gave me something for work.” She flicked a glance at Frodo.

Ah.

Thorin leaned back into the cushion. After a long spurt of arguments, discussions, and brainstorming, they had refined Bella’s plan to infiltrate Erebor to something she called a ‘silver tongue long con’. The pieces were still falling into place, and if Bofur were here, they weren’t too far out from D-Day.

Now more than ever, he wondered if he should prevent Bella from helping him. If she was hurt, he would never recover. He had resigned himself to that fact. But the sad truth was, he needed the Web-Cutter as much as he needed Bella’s support.

If they had any hope for a future, they had to find the Arkenstone. No one was safe with Smaug free. That much was apparent from the hit out on the boys.

But some nights, when he couldn’t sleep but still found peace with Bella’s warm weight curled into him, Thorin wondered if it was worth it. Maybe they should just pick up and run. Start a new life far away from this insanity.

He had his father back. Dis and the boys would thrive wherever they went. And he would have Bella and Frodo. That was worth more than any gemstone.

Yet here they were, exchanging a look over the object in her purse.

Not long now…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I promised another update in May and I just snuck it in! Only a short chapter today since I've been traveling, but I hope you enjoy it anyway. Things are picking up for our favorite duo soon. 
> 
> As always, be sure to let me know what you think!  
> Much love!


	29. Let Me Count the Ways

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dis's Two Cents...and Bella's...and Thorin's

Problems with Bella’s Plan: [in neater handwriting, _according to Dis_ is added]  
[in a bold scrawl, **with input from Thorin** ]

1\. Does not involve direct input from the all-knowing [ **and humble** ] Dis

2\. Involves direct contact with Smaug, Grade A asshole sold at your local butcher shop [ _really, Dis? You have young kids_ ] I’m sorry, I distinctly remember hearing you curse better than a sailor. May I continue? [ **Please don’t** ] Shut up, Thorin

3\. Only includes one contingency plan. [ **Good point. I will fix that** ].

4\. Smaug is an asswipe

5\. And a gigantic, sadistic cock waffle [ _sorry, what is that exactly?_ ] Don’t worry about it, Bella. Just means I’m more street than you [ _Oh yes, I hear gangsta rap emanating from you now_ ]. Stuff it, Smalls.

6\. Erebor is a literal fortress and you still don’t have the codes to all three safes **[How the hell do you know that? Who told you?** ] Don’t worry about it, big brother. I have my sources. [ **I’m going to kill Dwalin** ]

7\. What on earth are we going to do with the Arkenstone after you steal it, use it as a paperweight? [ _Not steal it, dear heart. Let the cops find it with Smaug’s sticky little fingers all over it._ ] Yeah, but it will eventually come back to us. I get that it’s a family heirloom, but I’d rather have a cast iron skillet to feed the boys as they grow.

8\. Does not involve hitting people with frying pans. [ **You’re a terror** ]. [ _No, I rather like that. I should bring a pan with me_ ]. [ **Mahal save me** ].

9\. What happens if Smaug figures out who she is? [ _That’s not a problem. I’m going to tell him._ ] WHAT? [ **Don’t go there. We’ve discussed it. At length.** ]

10\. Say everything goes perfectly. Smaug is put in jail, we’re richer than gods, and none of us are arrested for conspiracy. What then? Are you going to quit the force, Thorin? Is Bella going to stop being the Web Cutter? Are we going to move?

There were no responses to number 10. Dis checked her note as she made dinner, saw the lack of answers, and raised her eyebrows at Bella and Thorin who were over to spend the day with the boys. Bella looked as worried as Dis felt, but her brother just shrugged. He, it seemed, had a plan. One he didn’t feel the need to share.

And gee, that wasn’t alarming at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I know some of you are going to call me a tease cough [AlliageNote](http://archiveofourown.org/users/AlliageNote/pseuds/AlliageNote) cough, but I had this idea and it seemed too funny not to share. 
> 
> I promise! The next update will be the implementation of the plan and we will get to meet Smaug. Just hang with me and my very early morning ideas. 
> 
> Much love to all you sticking with me, and hi to all the new readers!


	30. Bait Hook, Cast into Water....Wait....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smaug takes center stage

Standing in the doorway to his office, Smaug gazed over his workers. His attention snagged on a young woman marching his way. Hadn’t his CFO mentioned he hired a new specialist?

Well, she was bold, he would give her that. Most of the employees avoided his gaze.

Smaug liked it that way. Less tedious conversation about new dogs and children. But it did make the work day a little dull. He was forced to spice it up with conquering smaller companies and counting his money.

“Mr. Smaug?” The woman stopped in front of him. Bright green eyes held his gaze squarely. “I’m Bella Baggins. Your new recovery specialist.”

That name meant nothing to him. Why would they hire a nobody? “Bella Baggins….Baggins…. Do you go by another name?”

“Yes, sir.”

At her pause, his eyebrow arched. Sassy little thing. “And it is?”

“Well-known enough you hired me.”

“On a probationary basis. I do believe you have to complete a trial first,” he said. Maybe today wouldn’t be so dull after all.

She nodded, a hint of a challenge in her eyes. “Yes, I was assured it would be a true test of my talents. Mr. Lugurn suggested three already, but as I have beaten both your initial security without setting off alarms and that of Moria, I insisted that you be the one to set the challenge.”

He snorted. “No one in a generation has been inside the opera house.”

When the great Durinsons fell, they fell hard. The hole their impact left had been filled with the lowest of the low, and those with visionary status like himself. Of course, as one of the feet behind the kick off the pedestal, Smaug rather prided himself on that.

"As you say, but I have evidence to the contrary."

"Do you also have a nice seaside property in Mali for me? I'm afraid I don't do real estate investments," he said.

She smiled, just a little curl of her lips. "You may believe what you wish. That does not make it the truth."

"And what is the truth, Miss Baggins?"

"Stories."

Today wasn't dull at all. He fell into the verbal sparing with a smile of his own. " _Fiction is the lie that tells the truth_ , is it?"

"You don't sound as though you believe it."

"I don't. People lie to themselves all the time. They don't need stories to work through the fallacies because they will never change. Only those who realize that money is what drives us, defines our relationships and perceptions, see the truth. That truth doesn't come in a book, but in a handful of cash."

"Hmm. That would suppose that morality is also defined by money," she said.

Smaug nodded. She saw sense. "It is."

Something unreadable flickered in her eyes. She inclined her head. "As you say, sir. Perhaps you should write a book about your philosophy."

He chuckled. "Nicely done, Miss Baggins."

From her purse, Bella pulled out a long, thin box wrapped in brown paper. “Please, take it. I retrieved it from Moria. Have your people verify it. I’ll be back in the morning to hear what the trial is. Excuse me, sir.”

Smaug retreated to his office to examine the package. It did occur to him that if she was as good as she claimed and had beaten security, then this package hadn’t been scanned. Possibly contained explosives. Not his first assassination attempt, but definitely the most direct.

He reached out of his door and hauled in one of his workers to open it. The man was easily replaceable. Smaug was not.

The paper fell away to reveal a wooden slat box. With an uncertain glance, the worker pulled out the top panel. Smaug took a precautionary step back. If it was poison, he wanted a clear line to the door. If it was explosives, he could dive through the door.

Nothing happened. No bangs, chokes, or screams.

Disappointing. Interrogating Bella would have been quite the battle of wills.

“Sir? It looks to be metal of some type.”

“Take it out.”

He held up star dust in tangible form. Maybe an inch wide and a foot long, the sheet of wafer thin metal caught the light from the picture window and scattered it around the room. Unlike a prism, however, the reflected rays didn’t break into individual colors, but combined into a pure, clear, cold glow.

“Mithril,” he breathed. He didn't need any verification. There was no faking this.

The man blinked at him. “Sir?”

“Out. Get out.”

Setting the object back in the box, the man scampered.

Good. He would have to terminate him later so word about this didn’t spread. In the meantime, he had a glorious, rare object in his hands. Almost as rare as the Arkenstone.

The rarest of all elements, mithril, had a myriad of uses, namely as the most efficient armor even over Kevlar. But the Durinsons, to showcase their wealth and love of the arts, had covered the walls of the opera house in panels of mithril. The resonance and acoustics of Moria were the best, most unique, in the world. Singers had resorted to murder to ensure their chances of performing there.

When the Durinsons lost Moria to the Shadow Party’s First Orc Bank, it had been sealed by the Army Corp of Engineers. The only time it had been opened since was when Thror had attempted to use it to regain former glory. It had ended in a bloody gun fight between the bank’s security and the more militant members of the Durinsons.

If Bella had gotten in…. Maybe he could use her.

Even if she turned out to be a disappointment, Smaug now had mithril. From Moria. He must be the only man who could say that.

A smirk curled his lips as he set the mithril on his bookshelf. For Bella’s trial, he had the perfect challenge. One that would point out any weaknesses in his security, and test her loyalty. Show her the extent of his power and wealth.

If she could be trusted, he could use her to finish the Durinsons once and for all. Rub their failures in Thorin’s face before he finally slit the bastard’s throat.

Picking up the phone, he dialed his CFO. “I want this Bella Baggins’s file in my inbox in five minutes. Tell me who she is.”

“The Web-Cutter, sir,” Lugurn said. “The file is already there.”

Well-enough known indeed. The Web-Cutter working for him. Smaug liked to collect people—their loyalty and their fear—almost as much as he liked accruing wealth.

Yes, this might work.

 

Walking in the front door to Bag End, Bella let out her first real breath all day. The face-to-face with Smaug had taken every ounce of courage she possessed. This was the man who had terrorized their city for years, who had broken the family of the man she loved. She was torn between wanting to garrote him or run away.

Tall, made of whip cords and tough leather, Smaug wasn't too imposing until she looked at his expression. No spark of humor in that spiced honey gaze. No compassion softening the long, narrow planes of his face. Only cruel, cold intelligence. Everything was a commodity to him, something that came with a price tag to be bought and sold.

Even human life.

Erebor had been more than she expected. Beautiful bones, but crammed full with harassed, terrified workers. People looked straight ahead, didn’t talk about themselves or anything other than their work. Despite the flood of natural light, the people there had been the most depressed she had ever seen. Bella couldn’t wait to finish this up so they, and she, could leave.

It was a good thing it was summer. She couldn’t imagine how bleak the place was in the winter. Smaug refused to spend money on the AC anywhere other than his office, and she doubted he had a different stance on heating. As it was, his office was a sauna because the man liked things like hell in so many ways.

“Darling?” Thorin glanced up from where he sat in the reading chair in the library. He pulled off his glasses and came to pull her into a tight hug. “Are you okay?”

“Auntie!” Frodo called out a greeting from by the fire.

She smiled, resting her cheek against his shoulder. “I am now.”

“Did he take the bait?”

“I don’t know. I think so. Tomorrow will tell.”

He tightened his grip. “Then let’s enjoy tonight. I made dinner.”

Err…he had said _enjoy_ , hadn’t he? Food poisoning didn’t sound particularly comfortable. “Oh. Err…. That sounds lovely.”

“Kidding, darling. Frodo and I ordered your favorite take out.” His rich laughter wrapped around her.

“You’re such a good provider.” She tipped her head up for a warm kiss before she bundled Frodo into a giggling hug. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoo! Our antagonist is finally revealed. Please let me know what you think! This isn't an action heavy chapter, but necessary to set the stage. Still, I hope you enjoyed it. 
> 
> It's always a good day when I can quote Neil Gaiman.
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me. I think for a while, unless I get really lucky, I'm going to do my best to update once a month. If I make you wait longer than that, please smack me through the interwebs. 
> 
> Much love!


	31. A Little Bit Comes Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two conversations, and Bella has an epiphany

At lunch the next day, Thorin went home to check on his father. And to distract himself from worry about Bella.

Thrain had been healing well since they brought—okay, _sprung_ —him home from the hospital, and he liked spending time with Fili and Kili. Though Thorin now lived at Bag End, he came over for lunch everyday to catch up with his father, and give Dis a break. He didn’t worry about Thrain following Oin’s recovery instructions; his sister ruled with an iron fist she didn’t bother to cover in velvet.

Thrain came to her house to regain his strength, and by Mahal, he would do so according to a sensible, careful plan.

She cooked only according to Oin’s list of approved foods, made him exercise twice a day, and hovered over him like a disapproving eagle until he took all his medicine. She even patted Thorin down when he came to visit to make sure he wasn’t smuggling in illicit candy or soda pop.

Waiting until his sister left to run some errands, Thorin joined his father on the terrace and handed him a chocolate bar.

“I don’t want to know where you hid it,” he said by way of thanks.

Thorin snorted. “Dating a thief has its benefits. How are you feeling?”

“Fine, fine. Dis will have me better ahead of schedule.” He did look stronger. More color in his face. “How is Princess Buttercup?”

“Goddamn amazing.” Stretching, he couldn’t stop a smile at the memory of how he sent her off for work this morning. Pure heat, that was Bella.

“Mahal, you two are sickening.” But he smiled as he said it. “Reminds me of your mother and me. Her smile was worth more than all the money in Erebor.”

“Amen.”

“Where is she? I thought she would have the summer off since school is out. I could do with some intelligent conversation.”

Damn it. Thorin didn’t want to tell his father the plan until they had the Arkenstone in hand. Hope was more painful than grief, and Thrain was still weak no matter his improvements.

“She’s picked up another job to fill the time.”

“Pah,” he said in the same tone Thorin usually said _bullshit_. “You two are up to something. Out with it now, or I’ll ask your sister.”

Double damn. Dis couldn’t keep a secret to save her life.

Reluctantly, the story and plan poured out. He kept the worst details to himself like how close the boys came to being captured in the library. When he wound to a stop, his father stared. Too many emotions swirled in Thrain’s one good, blue eye for him to guess at his thoughts.

“Let me get this clear. Your fiancée is currently tricking Smaug into assigning her to steal the Arkenstone to work for him. Once she goes in to pull the actual heist, you and a police task force are going to enter the building with a warrant based on circumstantial evidence to find the blasted stone in plain sight. Then, you are going to arrest Smaug, and everyone goes home happy.”

Put like that, it did seem…err…overly optimistic. “Essentially, yes.”

Sighing, Thrain leaned back in his seat. “This is my fault, putting this burden on you.”

“It’s family, Dad. I wouldn’t want anyone else to take this on.”

“You don’t understand. Smaug is a danger. Not just to our family, but to the whole city. There is no arguing that. Perhaps we are the best equipped to take him down.”

They paused to nod at the guard patrol who strode past. Since Smaug’s attempts to get the boys, Thorin was taking no chances with his family’s safety. When the guards were out of earshot, Thrain continued.

“However, this is more than public protection for us, for you. There is no going back, son. Say everything goes to plan and Erebor is bequeathed back to us. It will never be the same. Your grandfather is gone. I am but a shadow of myself. You have a different life than you planned on. It is not something to be ashamed of, simply recognized and accepted. Erebor is a myth. Do not go chasing fairy tales when you have something more precious already in your hands.”

What the hell?

“Dad,” Thorin asked, staring, “are you saying you don’t want us to get the Arkenstone? That was Grandda’s heart and soul.”

“Exactly,” he said heavily. “He sacrificed all he was for it. Greed is a sin for a reason. I know there is no talking you out of this, and bastard that I am, I do not want to try. Do this for the future, Thorin, not the past.”

Sure, as soon as he figured out what the fuck that meant.

Why did everyone give him cryptic advice and veiled warnings the closer they came to Erebor? He knew who he was and who he wasn’t. He was doing this for his family. So Fili and Kili grew up without fear. So Bella knew he would do whatever it took to never fail her.

People whispered that the Arkenstone was cursed. That Thror had gone mad with avarice and pride because of the jewel’s beauty. It was bullshit. He had been there with his grandfather. Thror had fallen into despair because of Smaug: the betrayal, the paranoia, the fear.

Once Thorin led Justice straight to the rat bastard, none of them had to be afraid again.

This wasn’t about an amount in his bank account. This was about right and wrong. This was about family.

And Mahal help him, Thorin would prove that beyond a shadow of a doubt as soon as he walked into the hallowed halls.

 

After checking that she didn’t have a tail from Smaug’s minions, Bella went to meet Bard for lunch. He had called her this morning on her drive and asked to meet. She looked forward to something far removed from Smaug and the sickly sweet anticipation of going after the Arkenstone until she walked in the restaurant and saw his face.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” She took the seat across from him at the small, metal table.

Weary brown eyes met hers. “Things are changing, Bella girl, and I worry that the casualty count will be high.”

“What do you mean?”

“We lost our third patrol officer today. It looks like an accident, but viewed with the others, a pattern is emerging. A pattern I’ve seen before.” Bard ran a hand over his hair, gaze going distant.

“I don’t understand,” Bella said. “How can there be three dead officers and no public outcry? I’m sorry for your loss, Bard. Let me know if you need anything.”

He tried to smile for her. “Thank you. The thing is, no one believes me that they weren’t accidents. Or why this is happening.”

Somehow, Bella knew that whatever it was he thought, it would hit her and hit hard. “Why?”

“Rumor has it that Thorin Durinson, heir to Erebor, is making a move against Smaug. No one knows how, but everyone is excited. Emboldened. They are starting to push back against Smaug’s edicts for the city. People have hope again.”

Why did that sound bad?

“Smaug cannot let this stand. He has to respond. Sow fear and obedience. The Lake District is the first to be hit, but it will not be the last. This is how his reign started last time. He took out the eyes on the street, the first responders. Next, he will move against more powerful officials, and they will capitulate. Our district council is ruled by a weak, narcissistic man. He surrounds himself with sycophants, and he is terrified of losing power. Smaug knows this.”

Bella watched him. “Bard, what is it you expect me to do? Confirm or deny this? I do not think it will help you as it what Smaug believes that matters.”

“I want you to tell me the truth. How good of a chance does Thorin have against Smaug?”

She chewed on her lip. It wasn’t that she hesitated to tell Bard, but answering the question made her confront her own fears. She tried to give him the most honest answer she could. “A good one. At least as far as incriminating Smaug in the eyes of the law. I think that the White Council will prosecute, but I also know it is a danger to underestimate him. And Thorin’s desire to see him burn.”

Bard sighed. “Well, at least you aren’t closing your eyes. Getting the Arkenstone—yes, that seems the most obvious way to incriminate Smaug—will be the easy part. It is what happens after that worries me. I don’t want you to get hurt, Bella girl, so don’t hate me for saying this.”

“Alright…”

“You have heard, I’m sure, about Thorin’s grandfather. How people say he went crazy with greed. It’s true. All of it. He turned against everyone, employee, friend, son, when the gold and the Arkenstone sunk their talons into him. Paranoid, merciless, demanding. His need for everyone to know what he had is what brought Smaug to the city. Worse, he knew it, but he was convinced of his power, of his greatness. He was not so far removed from Smaug by the end.”

He rubbed a hand over his face. “Thorin is a good man, Bella girl, but there is darkness in him. If I were you, I wouldn’t let him back into Erebor. Never let him see the Arkenstone. Whatever the fight might cost you, his inevitable fall will come with a higher price.”

What could she possibly say to that? She wanted to defend Thorin, say he would never fall to the depravity of Smaug, nowhere close. And she believed that, she did. However, she didn’t lie to herself. She loved all of Thorin, even his demons. And after all that had happened to his family and to him, his demons had become an integral part of his personality. Fighting them was something he would have to do, and the exact outcome…not even Fate knew.

“I understand,” she said softly.

A waitress came to take their order. In the silence that followed, Bella tried to think of something to say.

Smaug had told her this morning her challenge was to steal the Arkenstone from him. He gave her no information or explanations. It was a test of her ability and her discretion. All he had given her was a timeline: two weeks to hand the Arkenstone to him in his office.

What she had inferred from his body language was that she wasn’t supposed to succeed, just make a good attempt. Reassure him that his treasure was safe. But he didn’t know that she had been researching it for months. That she was damned close and completely stumped.

“There will be a battle, between Smaug and Thorin, between Thorin’s past and present. I don’t know what will happen, but I will not lose hope. Thorin is no longer alone. We have a chance against Smaug,” she said after a moment. “We aren’t walking into this blind. And I refuse to give up even if I know I will inevitably fail. Frodo deserves a chance at a better future, and so do Sigrid and Tilda and Bain.”

Bard shook his head slowly, tension loosening in his shoulders. “I would call you an optimist, but I believe you. We will fight, Bella girl. Until we win or someone else picks up the sword over our corpses.”

While she agreed with the sentiment, that had a ring of a prophecy about it that dunked her spine in freezing water.

 

Bella had a plan to sneak into Erebor on Saturday. Frodo would be with his Took cousins for the week. She knew how to avoid the cameras, which locks to pick, what contingency plans to put in place. She had all the equipment to make it to the vault and disarm everything so the police could come in. Everything from the acid to the clock spring was in place. So were her escape plans A through F.

But she still only had one code to the three safes. After delving into every aspect of Smaug’s life, she hadn’t even a guess as to what the other codes might be.

Walking back from lunch, Bella tried not to give into frustration. She would look again. She would find it.

If only Smaug was like the Durinsons and had a close family. Then it might be a child’s birthday or an anniversary. People were almost always predictable.

As though she walked into a brick wall, Bella froze in the middle of the street.

That was it! That was it!

“Oh. My. God!” Why hadn’t she thought of that before!

Tires squealed. A car rushed toward her.

Bella just blinked at it, her mind whirling. _Think of it from every angle_ , she told herself, _make sure there are no leaps or gaps._

Closer. Closer!

The driver honked his horn. Waved frantically. He wasn’t going to stop in time! What was that woman doing?

She cocked her head. No, the logic seemed solid.

Oh dear, that was a car coming toward her. What was it with the Lake District and maniac drivers?

Jogging off the road, she hurried back to her vehicle. Bella drove straight to the Durinson mansion. She had to know if she was right.

The driver came to a stop, smoke issuing from his tires, half an inch from where Bella had been standing. He thumped his head onto the steering wheel, swearing under his breath. “A little bit of poo just came out. Crazy woman.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was stuck for a long time, trying to this of what to put in this chapter, but I think we've covered some important things here. 
> 
> Even better, I know where I'm going next! So, it will be sometime in September given the way things are going, but there will be an update with reasonable speed! 
> 
> Also, I've been watching way too much old Top Gear recently, and just had to stick in that ridiculous line at the end. 
> 
> As always, let me know what you think. Much love!


	32. Dragon Wings and Machines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The plan for Erebor is put into action

Slowly. That’s how Bella was going to kill Bofur. Slowly with lots of torture implements.

“It’s a foolproof plan,” he said, not aware of his impending doom.

“That is a pony, not a plan. I asked for an escape vehicle, not hay ride.” She crossed her arms, foot tapping on the cobblestones.

He rolled his eyes, his chullo hat flapping in the cold win. “Have a little imagination. Smaug will be checking all the cars and usual modes of transportation. That’s why Myrtle here is so brilliant. You can sneak past everyone without drawing attention.”

_Without drawing attention?_

“Bofur, she’s a pony!”

“Well spotted. Is it your brain that attracts all the men?”

“Oh, shut up. I can’t take a pony!”

“Why not?”

Bella gaped at him. “If I had a week, I couldn’t list all the reasons.”

“Good thing you only have five minutes, then.”

Fate grant her patience. “Where am I going to put her while I’m inside? Why is it that you think people won’t notice that we aren’t in colonial times?”

“Do you want her or not?”

Sighing, she took the pony’s bridle with no small amount of trepidation. “Thank you.”

“No problem. Be careful. I don’t want to find another tester.” He tugged on her braid and trotted down the treat.

Right. No sense dallying now. Everything was in place and now she had a pet—sorry, an escape plan.

Shaking her head, Bella clambered onto Myrtle, and they trotted down the street. Thank goodness everyone was out at the fairgrounds today for the annual Fire Festival so the roads were mostly empty.

 

 

Thorin nodded to Bard as he arrived with a strike team. The lieutenant may not approve of how Thorin did things upon occasion, but he was solid in a fight.

When Gandalf mentioned they had a plan to take down Smaug, the entire police force had volunteered to help. Bella had insisted that they select Bard as one of the officers, and Thorin hadn’t argued. If it made her more comfortable, he would do it in a heartbeat.

“How’s our girl?” Bard murmured when Thorin came over.

 _My_ girl, he wanted to correct him. Bella was his, no one else’s.

Swallowing the flare of possessiveness, he nodded toward the skyscraper across the street. “She’s in place. Radio silent now that she’s made entry.”

Bard sighed. “I hope like hell you two know what you’re doing. The city will be better off without Smaug, but he’s a wily bastard.”

“Preaching to the choir.” Thorin had to keep reminding himself to draw in air. Breath wouldn’t come easily until Bella was well away from Erebor and Smaug was rotting in jail.

 

 

The front doors had been ridiculously easy to slide past. Bella could have done it blindfolded. Now that she was in the lobby of Erebor, however, things got a little more complicated.

Winking at the security cameras, she darted into the blind spot just behind the enormous grandfather clock that dominated the foyer. Opening the back of the clock, Bella grabbed the remote she had planted last month, clicked it, and smiled when all the lights and security systems died with a sharp crack.

For this, she would forgive Bofur for the pony.

She headed for the stairs to the vault. First, she had to overcome the biometric scans that locked all doors to the lower levels. Then she had to get into the safe room, and finally through the three vault doors.

All in twenty minutes before the backup security came on and Smaug was alerted to the breach.

Yeah, piece of cake.

Bella was confident in her plan, but even all her experience couldn’t anticipate everything. She had to be ready for anything.

The biometric scan was easy enough when she hacked through the coding. Honestly, it was almost as if the manufacturer wanted to be hacked. Did they think she was an amateur?

After clattering down the stairs, she paused against the door. From the other side came the curses and footsteps of the guard.

Excellent.

She reached into the bag at her hip and pulled out a glass vial and a mask. Stepping behind the swing of the door, she counted the approaching steps. The hallway was about a hundred and fifty feet long, so that would take him…

Ugh, why didn’t she teach math?

When she reached fifty, the handle turned. She slapped the mask over her face. The vial hit the tile and shattered. Glacial acetic acid splattered onto the floor. Even through the mask, her eyes watered.

The acid wasn’t as dangerous as say, hydrochloric, but it did sting like a you know what when concentrated.

As he stepped through the doorway, he clapped a hand to his nose, the burning hitting hard. He staggered sideways.

Darting behind him, Bella slipped inside and hauled the door shut behind her. She threaded a pipe section secured with a crowbar into the handle so he couldn’t get back in.

One barrier down.

 

 

Though all the lights in Erebor were dark, a bright strobe ignited on the roof. The silent alarm.

Thorin checked his watch. Dead on schedule. That meant Bella had made it into the basement hallway.

Hell, he was going to have a heart attack twice over before he saw her again.

 _Keep going, darling. You’re doing amazing. Just come back to me_ , he thought.

 

 

Arms crossed, Bella stared at the door that lead into the inner sanctum of Erebor. She should have known it was too easy.

Not only did each individual vault have its own combination, but the door into the entryway to the vaults had a ridiculous, Gordian knot-esque lock. She had anticipated some strange lock, but without being able to scope out this room ahead of time, she had to rely on rumor and hearsay and her own profiling of Smaug.

And boy did this take the cake.

In the shape of a dragon’s wing, each scale attached to a different pin. Starbursts of pins radiated from all sides of the wing to lock into the doorframe. Gold and encrusted with rubies, it was a thing of beauty, worthy of stealing in its own right.

Never before had she been so upset to see gold.

Alright. Bella cracked her knuckles. Smaug wasn’t as clever as he thought. She would figure this out.

She turned and headed for the door. Two tiles before where the guard pounded on the wood and cursed at her, she glanced up. The air duct glinted chrome in the glare from her flashlight.

Setting her bag aside so she didn’t have to haul around extra weight, Bella reached beneath her shirt for her garter belt that she put on over her tights.

A smile quirked her lips as she thought of the last time she used this. Thorin had been as much of an adversary as a fantasy then. Now, he was an integral part of her thoughts.

Thinking of him made her heart do that stupid flip she still wasn’t used to but never wanted to stop. Today, though, the sappy kick came with a knot of dread forming in her stomach.

Whatever the outcome of today, things would change. She wanted this to work out because it was his dream to do this for his family, but Bella could admit she was also selfish.

Say Thorin got Erebor back and reclaimed his ancestry. He would either get it up and running again as it had been and then sell it, or take it over himself. Either way, he was going to have to devote all his energy to the business.

While she didn’t think that he would forget her and Frodo, and she wouldn’t begrudge him long hours, it would be a change. And Thorin wasn’t a man who accepted change unless it came on his timetable.

Just look at how he had first handled realizing she was the Web Cutter. It had taken him a long time to admit that there were shades of gray.

They were so happy now. She finally had someone to rely on. Someone she knew would never desert her.

She couldn’t give that up. Not again.

Bella sighed. No use borrowing trouble sitting here worrying about it. She believed they would find their way to a new normal. As long as they talked things through and both were open to it, they would be fine.

They had what it took to survive anything.

Once the pins from her garter belt were stuck in the ceiling, she scaled the wall and hung just beneath the vent. Pulling a tool from the belt, she unscrewed the cover and tossed it aside. It took a bit of finagling, but she found the rope she had snaked through the ductwork yesterday.

Bella had to use her thigh muscles, braced against the ceiling, to haul her bag down the metal vent. Sweat coated her by the time fabric met her fingertips. She juggled it with more luck than grace, but managed to haul it out and to the floor.

Back at the lock, she used a thin jeweler’s implement to get the feel of the pins before she stepped away and considered it.

Hmm…Maybe if she…no, that wouldn’t work.

What about….

Well, if this worked, she should nominate herself for a noble prize in engineering.

 

 

“If you keep pacing, you’re going to fall straight through the pavement,” Dwalin drawled as Thorin passed him again.

“Fuck off.”

“She’s going to be fine,” Bard said, though there was the faintest hint of worry in his tone that made it sound as though he was trying to convince himself.

Thorin didn’t reply.

Bella could handle anything, but he couldn’t handle losing her.

 

 

The Rube Goldberg affair took up the whole length of the hallway. Bella needed the machine to twist, spark, and pull all in the same motion, and she simply didn’t have enough hands. If she tried, she would undoubtedly mistime something, and then the door would lock for good and open only with explosives.

Not only did the latch behind the wing need to be twisted to open, the wing itself needed to be pulled down, and if she was going to do this without a key, the computerized release of the pins in the door needed to be short-circuited. Whoever made this lock really needed a social life.

Holding her breath at the opposite end of the hallway, Bella pulled the metal detector toward her and let it swing forward. At the top of its arc, it hit the first stone paver. The stone toppled into the others like dominos. With the final paver, the line split and now two mechanisms were in motion.

First, a metal rod, carved from a truck prop shaft, rammed into a compact mirror. When it shattered, the glass shards fell into a tray she had fastened from the guard’s discarded plate and triggered the electrified foil she had fastened from gold leaf and her Taser.

Simultaneously, the other line split again. Along one line, a miniature centrifuge whizzed, spitting out glass beads into a dish that sank slowly. As it fell, it pulled a length of twine that she had wrapped around the main portion of the wing, pulling it down in increments.

The other line opened a slat on her cannibalized lipstick tube farther and farther to drip the last of her acetic acid onto a wire. With each drip, the wire moved steadily to the left and closer to its end.

Against the door, the wire reached a piece of memory metal. The wire zapped impulses to the metal to create a corkscrew that opened and closed around the hidden latch beneath the arch of the wing.

Bella hid herself behind the guard’s chair as best she could. If this didn’t work, she wouldn’t put it past Smaug to have rigged the whole thing to explode with an incorrect opening. In the cramped hallway, she would be lucky to escape with third degree burns if that happened.

Her machine creaked and rattled and crackled.

Three inches from the lock.

The wing flashed golden flame in the snapping electricity.

Two.

Hidden flames seemed to beckon her closer. Toward untold riches. Toward danger.

One.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To my wonderful readers, I can only apologize for promising this update in September and posting it in...well, decidedly not September. For a while it was just that I didn't like anything that I wrote, and then life decided to remind me that there are other things to do besides spend my days writing fan fiction. 
> 
> The audacity! 
> 
> At any rate, I hope that you enjoyed this long update! As always, let me know what you think.  
> Much love for reading!


	33. Smaug Wants It That Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bella finds a surprise in Erebor and discovers an interesting fact about ponies.

Bella blinked at the vault door as it swung soundlessly open. Well that was anticlimactic. And how on earth had that worked?

Shaking her head, she collected what she could from her contraption and hurried into the vault. Walked straight into a warm, alive, and surprisingly strong man who caught her shoulders and held.

She looked up into the eerie golden eyes of Smaug.

Oh, _fuck_.

He smiled, releasing her shoulders so he could clap. “That was impressive, even for the Web Cutter. No one has breached my vault. Ever. It took even me weeks to find a way inside.”

“Oh, umm…luck?” she tried, taking a discrete step backward.

On the shelf next to him sat a gorgeous, enormous diamond that refracted the light of the fluorescent lamps into a thousand hues. There was another guess proven correct. Smaug had stashed his stolen bounty inside the vault of those it used to belong to. Bold. 

“Skill,” he corrected. “Do not undervalue yourself. That is a terrible habit. Now, let us see just how skilled you are. Open the other two vaults.”

Bella watched him closely for a long moment. The gleam of greed in his eyes was too powerful to mistake. Her instincts had been correct; Smaug had never managed to open the last two vaults. They had been made by the founder of Anvil-Strength Safes himself so not even the greatest thief could get in without the code.

And though she knew the combinations, if she revealed that to Smaug, he would know she was tied to the Durinson family, and she would be dead faster than she could say “what about second breakfast?”

Great. Awesome. Wonderful.

She was so screwed.

“I do prefer to work in private,” she said.

He raised an eyebrow. “Stretch yourself.”

Bastard.

Nothing for it. She couldn’t pretend to listen for tumblers because there weren’t any or try to blow it up because she had no explosives.

Bella braced herself and walked to the lock. She spun the dial to the three numbers she had memorized, doing her best to block his view of the code, and pulled on the handle.

The door swung soundlessly forward.

Smirking, Smaug said nothing as he followed her forward.

She opened the third and final vault without a problem. Somehow she would have to grab the Arkenstone and make a run for it. It wouldn’t help the rest of their plan to catch him by surprise, but it was better than nothing. They could adapt.

All she had to do was make it past the man who had killed for the stone and outweighed her by a laughable amount.

Maybe she should have listened more closely to Thorin’s lecture on risk management.

“Well? Go inside,” Smaug said softly. “Find what it is you have been planning to steal for months. Take the stone. I won’t stop you.”

“I don’t understand.”

“No?” His eyes glittered. “Have you not been conspiring with that rank, useless cop about how to reclaim his legacy? Have you not in fact been sleeping with him? You should not debase yourself so, someone with your talents. ”

Her heart pounded against her ribs. It, at least, was prepared to make a break for it though the rest of her body was frozen. “Pardon?”

“Do not mistake me for a fool, Web Cutter. I have eyes all around this town. I know who you are friends with. That foul meddler Bard and the Chief of Police who can’t keep his nose out of others’ businesses,” Smaug spat.

“If that were true, why would you let me walk away?” Her lips started to buzz as her breathing accelerated.

“Because I know what will happen when Thorin sees the Arkenstone. It will consume him. Making you watch that seems a fitting punishment.” He chuckled softly. “He will abandon you, Bella. You will have no one to protect you and that sweet boy of yours.”

Her back snapped straight. Ice coated her voice. How dare he mention Frodo? “I can protect myself.”

“Even from Thorin? If you’re so sure, go ahead and take the stone.”

“Very well.” She reached inside, scooped up gems and gold ingot on the shelves of the small room, and shoved it all in her bag.

Before Smaug could look in, she snapped the door closed and spun the dial. As Smaug gaped at her, she swiped the Arkenstone from his hands.

“Oh,” he said softly, “now that was a mistake.”

Bella stuck out her tongue. “Bite me.”

She bolted.

 

Three minutes ahead of schedule, Thorin’s phone rang. “Bella?”

“I locked him in the vault!”

He blinked. Her voice was higher than normal so he must have misunderstood. “Take a deep breath for me, darling. What happened? Are you alright?”

“No! Smaug was there! He knew who I was, that you and I are dating. So, I locked him in the vault and ran! We need a new plan.”

The news didn’t process. There was no way Bella had been in there alone with a known murderer and thief.

“He doesn’t know about us. What did he say?”

“That he knows we are sleeping together. Pounding the mattress into the ground. Rollicking behind the barn. Doing the horizontal tango. Aggressive cuddling. Will you focus on what’s important? Smaug is _here_!”

He spared have a second to wonder at how her mind worked before shaking himself. “Alright. Can you get out?”

“I think so.”

“Good. How soon until he frees himself?”

“Umm, well, see here’s the thing,” she said. “I might have gotten a little overeager in my escape and maybe I…”

Her voice trailed off into mumbles.

“I didn’t catch that. What did you do, darling?”

“I-broke-the-safety-mechanism-so-he-can’t-get-out-until-someone-lets-him,” she said so quickly her words crashed together.

Thorin had to hold the phone away from his ear to laugh until his sides hurt. That was so fucking fitting. When he could breathe steadily again, he returned to her. “You are so amazing, Bella. We’ll take care of it. I’ll send Bard in to arrest him while I meet you at the rendezvous point.”

“You don’t want to be there for it?”

“No. I want to make sure you’re okay and see the Arkenstone.”

“Okay. I’ll see you soon. This next bit is tricky.”

He gestured Bard over. “Be safe, darling. I love you.”

“I love you, too, Thorin.”

 

Despite Bella’s rigor in planning her entries and escapes on jobs, there was one factor she hadn’t considered today: ponies have a very strong sense of smell.

Which was important considering that her exit from Erebor had taken her on a brief jaunt through the sewers. Her shoes and half of her legs were coated in unidentifiable muck. She knew she stank to high heaven. She didn’t need a glorified donkey’s opinion on the matter.

Bofur was so dead.

“Come here. I’m not going to hurt you.” She inched closer to Myrtle, but the pony backed away.

Blast. If she ran, Bella was majorly SOL.

She pulled out her phone and did a quick Google search. How do you charm a pony?

Well, crap. She didn’t have a carrot or sugar or a brush.

Scrolling desperately through the advice, she kept shaking her head. Nope, nope, nope.

The last entry on the horse forum gave a suggestion she was ninety percent sure was a joke, but what choice did she have? They were bound to start attracting attention soon, and she needed to be across town in twenty minutes. It wasn’t as though she could hotwire a car and just leave Myrtle here.

Putting a hand over her face, she took a deep breath and prayed that no one was watching from a nearby building. Hopefully not even a satellite was overhead so there would never be a recording.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” she muttered as she stashed her phone. “Alright, Myrtle, if this doesn’t work, you’re on your own.”

As with most animals, ponies did not respond well to abrupt movement by strangers, so the sage on the internet suggested using round motions and soothing sounds to charm the animal. Apparently, dancing to the song _I Want It That Way_ by the BackStreet Boys did the trick.

Well, if she was going to do this, she was going to commit, damn it.

Bella cleared her throat and started to sing. “You are my fire, the one desire.”

She did her best impression of a boy band member, waving her arm in front of her face with some hip movements. Maybe some side to side thrusts? A few thumps to her chest over her heart? Articulate each word with her hand?

“Believe when I say, I want it that way.”

Myrtle gave her a considering look and edged forward a few steps.

One leg crossed behind her, she made a sweeping gesture and flicked up an imaginary hat. “Something…something… tell me why! Ain’t nothin’ but a heartache! Tell me why! Ain’t nothin’ but a mistake.....something….I want it THAT WAY!”

The pony clattered over to her.

Bella dusted off her shoulders. “Guess you like it that way too, huh?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I missed updating in February so I didn't want to miss March as well. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and yes I did watch the Backstreet Boys music video multiple times for this :P 
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me, dear readers!


	34. Traps of a Different Kind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin and Smaug have a conversation. With much input from Dwalin

The brutal blast of the air conditioning down his neck seemed to annoy Smaug more than the harsh lighting, handcuffs, and uncomfortable chair. He glared up at the vent as though daring it to a duel. “I don’t suppose you could turn up the temperature in here. Cold torture is outlawed under the Conventions.” 

Behind the one-way glass, Thorin raised an eyebrow. Half of him was tempted to turn the thermostat even farther down. However, now that they had Smaug in cuffs and the Arkenstone in the evidence locker, everything had to be above board. 

“You did good,” Balin said, clapping him on the back. “I’ve dreamt of this day for a long time.” 

Dwalin grunted. “We all have, but I won’t believe it until the judge slams him behind bars for life.” 

“Agreed. And that’s not going to happen with us standing here.” Thorin turned to his partner. “Ready?” 

Vertebrae popped as Dwalin rolled his neck. “Ready. What if I punch him gently?” 

Not this again. “No.” 

“A little love-tap?” 

“No.” 

“A peck on the cheek?” 

Mahal save him. “Fine, but don’t blame me when he asks you to visit him in jail. From the stories I’ve heard, one kiss and you’ve got them wrapped around your finger.” 

A blush climbed Dwalin’s dusty cheeks. 

Snorting, Thorin opened the door to the interrogation room and strode in. 

“Ah, Durinson. I should have guessed. Frigid air for a frigid man. Though I hear that firecracker of a woman you’ve caught warms you right up.” 

He sat, ignoring Smaug’s taunts, and flipped open his file. “Tell me why you think you are here.” 

In the corner, Dwalin crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. “Twenty buck says he pins it on you.” 

“Oh, but Detective Fundinson, that isn’t a question at all. I’m sure when my lawyer arrives, he will be all to happy to tell you how these charges are ridiculous. Detective Durinson has forever been trying to arrest me, and he has somehow conned a judge into signing my arrest warrant today,” Smaug said. 

“I didn’t arrest you. I believe Bard had that honor.” 

The smugness in Smaug’s gaze turned to hatred. “That man is useless. Do not speak to me of lesser men.” 

“You must charm women left and right with that silver-tongue,” Dwalin noted. 

“Bard is a decorated officer. Are suggesting that our police force is less than capable?” Thorin said blandly. 

From his own interactions with Smaug and from Bella’s research, they had developed a simple plan for the interrogation: push all his buttons. He might be calculating and clever, but he also had a fiery temper that could lead him astray. Not to mention his superiority complex that got him talking before his lawyer arrived. 

“I am suggesting nothing. I think the evidence speaks for itself. Isn’t that what you’re trained to listen to, or are all detectives making up their own stories now? The count is eight dead in six months, and no arrests. Horrifying, really, when people are scared to let their children play outside. The corpses were burned to a crisp, weren’t they?” Smaug said. 

“They were. Horrible way to die.”

“Fitting for you,” Dwalin muttered. 

“However, the unsolved murders are not why I am talking to you,” Thorin continued. 

Smaug quirked a brow. “Ah, I see. You are here to recoup me what your delicious girlfriend stole from me.” 

“Pardon?” 

“Don’t play coy, Durinson. It doesn’t suit you. Your girlfriend, Bella Baggins, infiltrated my company and stole my property. In fact, I would like to file a report.” 

Heaving a sigh, Thorin pulled out his notepad. “Fine. Let the record show we are following procedure even though this is an interrogation. When did the alleged incident occur?” 

“Yesterday.” 

He scribbled down the information. “You are accusing Miss Bella Baggins of the robbery. What is the address of the building?” 

Dwalin yawned loudly. “I would have thought as a firm with a security arm you would have a secure enough building to prevent anything. Or perhaps you aren’t as clever as you believe, Mr. Smaug.” 

“If a librarian could supposedly sneak in, he has a point,” Thorin muttered, still writing. “This will be a public report, so all your clients will hear about your failings.” 

“It was not a failing! I instructed Miss Baggins to enter. She had inside information,” Smaug spat. “But she was not supposed to take anything and was not supposed to be following your orders!” 

“If you think my girlfriend listens to me, you clearly haven’t met her,” Thorin said dryly. “May I suggest being warier about the people you talk to if she supposedly turned on you?” 

Dwalin nodded. “Background checks are always good. Shouldn’t your firm be using them? Man, I might contact your clients myself to alert them to possible flaws. Be the responsible thing to do.”

"He is very civic minded like that," Thorin said. 

Eyes narrowing to slits, Smaug cleared his throat pointedly. “She is your girlfriend, Detective. I do not think a thief would be a good choice for a man of the law. I only wish I could see your face when you have to question her about my report.” 

It would be a smile all the way home. Thorin gestured for him to continue. “What do you believe she stole?” 

“Five rubies of 2 carats each and all valued at over $15,000, two uncut emeralds that must be at least 5 carats each—” 

“Must be?” Thorin interrupted. “Do you not even know what is all in your own vaults? Sloppy work, not having an inventory.” 

“It is a private vault she entered. I only got a glance when she stole the gems,” he said, his back snapping straight. 

Damn straight it was a private vault. Thank Mahal Smaug had never gotten his greedy hands on the family treasures. “Ah, of course. You were saying she stole the emeralds?” 

“Yes. Two emeralds I would estimate are worth $5,000 together, three gold ingot—which should be traceable as they were stamped—,and a diamond of 50 carats,” Smaug said. 

Aha. Keeping his voice steady, Thorin kept writing. “A 50 carat diamond?” 

“Yes. That one is definitely traceable. It’s known as the Arkenstone. It was the main feature in my business that I was able to keep that piece of my property secure.”

Couldn't stop himself from rubbing it in, could he? Moron. 

“Obviously not very well,” Dwalin muttered. 

Fire lit in Smaug’s eyes. “I have kept it for myself for years without a problem. It was in my personal vault. I am the only person to have successfully stolen it without aid. No one else! Especially not some slip of a woman. I believe Miss Baggins is also responsible for the break-in at my other facility in Fort Ancalagon.” 

Got you, you smug bastard. 

“I see. Well, your report will be submitted. In the meantime, you can rot in jail until your trial for the theft of the Arkenstone from the Durinson family as you have, yourself, here admitted.” Thorin snapped the folder closed to offer Smaug a smile. “Thanks for making my job easier.” 

The cold-blooded bastard watched him with a thin grin. “You go ahead and think you’ve won, Durinson. I will enjoy watching you destroy yourself, with no help from me. All that you hold dear will turn to ash because you are not strong enough to handle your legacy. So, go ahead. Throw me in jail. It just means I’ll get a front row seat to watching you come to ruin. You are not half the man your grandfather was, and he couldn’t keep Erebor either.” 

Thorin stood. “Whatever helps you sleep at night, sweetheart. Dwalin, you got this asshole?” 

“My pleasure.” 

After talking to the district attorney, Elrond, to alert him and Smaug’s lawyer about the confession, Thorin called it a day and headed home. He thought about heading for his house to tell Dis and Thrain the good news but decided a phone call would do. He wanted the peace of Bag End tonight. 

Bella and Frodo smiled in welcome when he found them in the kitchen, chef hats precariously held on their curls. Tossing Frodo up onto his shoulders when the boy held out his arms, he leaned down to kiss Bella’s cheek. “That smells amazing.” 

“Mushroom soup with bread and baked brie,” she said. Green eyes searched his expression before some of the tension in her shoulders eased. “Everything okay?” 

He snuck a kiss. “It is now. Are you helping cook, Frodo?” 

“Yep! Auntie taught me how to simmer the mushrooms.” 

“Excellent. You could be a great chef one day.” 

Frodo shook his head. “Then other people would eat my food, and I wouldn’t have anything left for Auntie and me.” 

Chuckling, he helped set the table before going to take a quick shower. It felt as though he had lost twenty pounds today. Everything from his steps to his breaths felt lighter. He knew there was still a lot to figure out, but he had time now. There was no longer a Sword of Damocles haunting his strides. 

For the first time in years, he let himself fully relax as they ate dinner. The food tasted divine, and he savored each smile that came from his family. They played Candy Land, both Frodo and Bella delighted when Thorin got stuck twice on the Midgewater Marsh tile. 

He put Frodo to be with a story of how Durin came to this city because of the rumor of Mirrormere. When the boy’s breathing evened out and Sauron, Bane of Hope purred irregularly in his sleep on the pillow, Thorin padded out of the room and went to find Bella. 

“Hey.” She greeted him with a glass of whiskey. “I thought we could celebrate tonight.” 

“Perfect.” He pulled her into his lap as he sat on the couch. Setting aside the whiskey, he instead enjoyed her soft skin as he nuzzled her neck and pulled down the neckline of her dress. 

Bella laughed and leaned into his touch. “That’s a better way to celebrate. But can we talk first?” 

“What do you want to talk about?” He was more interested in her lacy bra. 

“How did it go with Smaug today? What are the next steps? How are you feeling?” She gasped as his fingers dipped lower. 

He smiled and dropped his forehead to her shoulder. “Perfect. He incriminated himself, so we can hold him until the court date. Elrond will put in a request to deny him bail. That will give Bard enough time to finish his investigation into the murders.” 

“Oh, Thorin. That’s a huge relief! I knew you could do it.” She tugged his head up for a scorching kiss. “What now?” 

“Now, I’m taking a sabbatical from the force to get Erebor figured out. Dis has too much to handle with the boys, and Dad isn’t up for it, but someone needs to deal with it full-time until we get it firmly back under our family. Then we can hire someone to manage it.” 

Fingers stroking his cheek, Bella nodded. “That makes sense. And you’re sure you don’t want to be that person?” 

“Mahal, no. I love being a cop. Banking bores the hell out of me.” 

“Good.” She relaxed into him. “I was afraid you would take it on to save your family and give up what you love.” 

“Not for more than a few months.” He kissed her again. “I couldn’t have done it without you, darling. For so many reasons.” 

She stood and held out her hand. “I’ll always help. Now, come on. I think I said something about celebrating.” 

Much later, when Bella cuddled into his side and drifted off, Thorin found sleep far from his mind. Instead, idea after idea whirled past about how to make Erebor his. Make it stronger so Fili and Kili had a solid prize to inherit. They had to erase the taint of Smaug from those hallowed halls. 

And to honor his grandfather, Thorin would put the Arkenstone front and center in the lobby again as soon as the case was closed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoo! Got this out sooner than I hoped. I don't want to curse myself, but I'll try to get the next chapter out before the end of the month. We're approaching in the end :O 
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me for 34 chapters!


	35. In Need of Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Erebor is returned, but is Thorin back to normal after the demise of Smaug?

Erebor opened its doors to all customers, instead of Smaug’s elite, three days after Smaug was sentenced to life in prison. The employees were given raises, sick leave, and paid vacations. Some of them quit because their health couldn’t permit them to return to a place that had once contained such horror, but many stayed on. Thorin was a strict boss, but he was fair.

Late one night, six months after its opening, Bella walked through the glass doors, a takeout bag over one arm. She had asked the Gamgees to watch Frodo tonight so she could track down her erstwhile fiancé. It had been a week since he had come home, and she knew he wouldn’t have remembered to eat dinner.

In the center of the impressive marble foyer, she found herself stopping at the diamond displayed beneath an alarmed, bulletproof glass case. The Arkenstone, back where it belonged. Usually she walked past it without a second glance, but tonight she had a powerful impulse to kick over the stand.

Taking a deep breath, she wrenched herself away and headed for the elevators. Was she being selfish? She hardly saw Thorin these days and when he did leave the bank, she felt guilty keeping him to herself since his family and Frodo missed him so much. Weekly dinners with the Durinsons rarely included him though his absence was keenly felt by them all, no matter how much they tried to glaze over the topic.

She knew he wanted this to be a success, and she was happy that he was doing so well, was proud of his work, but…Bella couldn’t help it. She felt abandoned. He obsessed over the bank and snapped at her whenever she brought up taking a vacation or the wedding. On the rare occasions he came home, he barely kissed her cheek before going to crash on the couch to keep his laptop could be nearby.

Though she tried to stifle her doubts, Bard’s words came back to her and she kept wondering if all she had been to Thorin was a means to an end. She believed him when he had said he loved her, but now he loved Erebor more.

The elevator chimed. Ghosting over the polished floors of the executive suite, she headed for the one office with its light on. Tonight, she and Thorin were going to have a long talk. Priorities needed to be reassessed. And maybe…

No. She wanted to hear what he had to say first.

“Hey, darling.” He glanced up from his computer with a smile. “This is a surprise.”

“A good one, I hope.” Setting the food on the desk, she followed his tug to sit in his lap. Her breathing eased. This had to be a good sign.

“Always a good surprise.” Thorin tipped her head back for a leisurely kiss.

Her smile was as much of relief as it was happiness. “I missed you.”

“Me too, Bella.” He nipped at her ear. "Look at this. We'll be turning a profit next quarter similar to the Erebor of old if I can get a few more things in place."

She blinked at the screen, but the numbers made little sense to her. They were all black, however, which she assumed was better than red. "That's great. You've definitely worked for it."

"And I've convinced Imrahil from down south that we're a sound investment. Tricky bastard because he knows his stuff. His capital will let us finish the expansion and wipe out the rest of Smaug's filth. I wouldn't put it past him to have left a few viruses or spy codes in our system."

Yeah, she wouldn't either. Smaug's descent to prison had not been graceful.

"You've made a lot of progress, Thorin. I'm proud of you. I think Erebor will have a bright future." She kissed his cheek and tugged him from the computer. As excited as she was for him, she couldn't stand more financial talk. It reminded her all too clearly of the conversation they needed to have. Thorin needed to be reminded that the world didn't revolve around this company, and she needed hope. "Come on, I'm starving."

His stomach rumbled as he glanced at the takeout bag. “That smells amazing. I missed lunch somehow.”

“Well, at least you’ll have a good dinner.” Once the containers were open and they filled up paper plates, she pulled him to the couch that had a pillow underneath and tested the waters. “And you’ll have lunch tomorrow too.”

He made a questioning noise around his sandwich.

“The welcome back lunch the police department usually puts on. Your sabbatical ends tomorrow. And then Dis is cooking for Fili’s birthday on Saturday,” she said.

“Ah. Well, I’m not going back. Not yet. I extended my sabbatical until December.”

Her stomach evaporated. “You are? When did you decide this?”

“A few weeks ago. There’s still so much to do. I don’t trust anyone else to do it. Not until Erebor is more profitable.”

“I thought you said banking bored you. That you wouldn’t give up being a cop,” she said.

He shrugged. “I’m not. Just can’t go back yet. And so what if I like banking better? Is that your decision?”

Oh, Thorin. Appetite gone, she set aside her burrito. “I don’t care what you do as long as you’re happy. However, you didn’t even mention to me that you decided to extend your sabbatical. It doesn’t feel like we’re in a relationship anymore. Not just you and me, but your family. The boys miss you so much, Thorin. _I_ miss you so much. I’m not asking you to give this up, but can you try to come home before eight at least twice a week?”

“I will, Bella. I’m sorry that I’ve been so caught up. There is just so much to do.” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “Next week, I’ll take a day off. We can do anything the kids want.”

“What about this weekend? We have plans.” _Please, Thorin, say you remember…._

“I’ll be here. Conference call with overseas clients and I want to go through the vaults. I don’t trust the interns that did the inventory.”

Damn it. Bella shook her head and stood. “I see. Well, then I won’t interrupt you any longer. Perhaps then you can remember that Saturday is _your nephew’s birthday_ and you promised to attend. I know that businesses require sacrifice, but I refuse to watch you hurt the kids. Either you find a balance, Thorin, or the next time you look up, you’ll be alone.”

Storm clouds gathered in his eyes. “Is that an ultimatum? I didn’t think we had that kind of relationship.”

“It’s the truth. I’ll give you a lot, be with you through hell, but if you don’t value family anymore to the point where you ignore birthdays and family dinners and answering Kili’s call when he’s scared and wants you to reassure him, then you aren’t the man I agreed to marry. You aren’t the man I love.”

“It is nice to know exactly who you are, Bella Baggins. You profess to be with me through anything, but at the first sign of difficulty you run! Fine! Go!” he snapped. “You obviously aren’t the woman I love either.”

She grabbed her purse and marched out. Her anger lasted her all the way down to the first floor before it evaporated, and she was left only with despair. He hadn't come after her like one of them always did when they fought. It felt as though she had just walked out of his life. Once again, she found herself staring at the Arkenstone.

They had been right, all of them. This damn diamond was cursed. It made Thorin forget his family and it pissed her off.

Bella dragged in a deep breath. This wasn’t her. It wasn’t _them_. Her parents would be horrified if they knew she was giving up on him so easily. That wasn’t the Baggins way.

“Alright,” she told the stone. “Alright. You're on.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the late update! I hope you enjoyed it!  
> As always, let me know what you think and thanks for reading!


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